I need some guidance and help. I'm addicted to pornography and don't seem to want to stop. If I act out I feel like crap and shameful. I have been to my bishop multiple times and I get sick of myself going to the bishop and telling him I'm doing it and tired of telling my wife about it and upsetting her. Lately all I want to do is take a bottle of pills and sometimes pray that something will happen to me so that I'll die because my wife deserves better. I have fallen into a trap and I don't think I'll ever be able to pull out. I always say this time I'll stop and not look at it but I should no better that that isn't the truth. My wife mother recently passed and I wasn't her biggest fan and now I know she's looking down on me and knows that I am true failure for her daughter. I wish I never existed
