I've been inactive for roughly 10 years. I still have a testimony and I still believe in Jesus Christ and God in the holy ghost but I also understand that regardless of what her beliefs are our fundamental aspects of being human will never be relinquished. It is mostly for this reason I find it near possible to return to the church despite my aggravating desire. I feel at times though I have lost the ability to have respect for life, Ive had cancer twice and feel as if I'm more distant from life than I've ever been. I teeter every day between being a extremely bad person or staying on track like a "normal" person. I'm 29 divorced lost in the sauce, I now carry herpes from an ex girlfriend i smoke weed to prevent myself from dropping off the planet I'm really lost,hurt, and find survivability near impossible. I know I'll never marry in the church, let alone date a normal person lol so I seclude myself in hate and hide, I feel guilty going to church. I'm lost an need scripture direction...
