kd_ldsfamily

I've talked to my father, who was a bishop for a long time when I was young, and he's given me some piece of mind, as have these posts. Thank you for your input. My dad said that, first of all, this includes blessing and religious benefits that I can't provide to child because I am not temple worthy. Speaking of the "in-crowd" I think that is more in my child's state of mind, having it pounded in her head every Sunday that families can be together forever... as long as you do these things, they want to be in the same boat with all of their cousins and friends. I just want them to be happy. This ultimately is their decision, I've concluded. I don't pretend to fully understand any of this since I haven't been to church in a few years. We've made so many phone calls and done so much research and I really think that the decision will, in the end, be completely the choice of our kid. They know that I love them. I've tried very hard to be a part of their life in the past few years and make sure that they know how much I care and adore them. The last thing I want them to think is that I am eternally giving them away. My standing currently (and this seems to change every 30 minutes!) is that I will not stand in the way of my child's blessings, eternal privileges, beliefs, etc. If this is REALLY what they want, and not the wishes and manipulation of my ex, then I won't stand in the way. I am concerned, very much, with them resenting me for "eternally handing them over" to the stepparent, but if this is really what they want, I want them to be happy.... We are having a conversation with them soon about this and I pray we make the best decision and that this doesn't end up with them feeling, when they are older, that I gave them away. I am working on legal statutes with my custody and all of that, but with this being a religious issue, I am eager to hear the thoughts of those who are active in the LDS church. Thank you again for your advice and prayers.

I am in need of some guidance. Please excuse my wordage, I'm trying to maintain anonymity. My ex wants to have our child sealed to them and their spouse. They are going through the temple to be sealed, and want my child to to come with them. I have not given my consent to my knowledge, but have been told that they have a document that I signed years back, around the time of our divorce, that allows them to do this already. If this is true, I don't remember it. Either way, I am torn on if I want this to happen or not. A little back ground. I am not currently a practicing member of the LDS church. Our child has been raised LDS and believes in the church and has been baptized. I was told that they WANT to do this and were in fact the one who ASKED if they could go to be sealed with them, since the church teaches that they can't get into the Celestial Kingdom without being sealed. I understand that they can get sealed when they are married, but they want to do it now - I've been told. They are not included in the "in-crowd", both in church and extended family, who have a family all sealed together nice and tight and oh so happy, and they want to be. I do not want to be the "bad-guy" in this for trying to stop it, or stopping it, but what else can I do? I am not willingly going to give my permission for my child to, by their beliefs, be taken from me for eternity. And what does that tell my child if I agree? My ex has already ingrained in their mind that I was not interested in being a part of their life before - NOT TRUE - and also lied to me about my custody rights. I have now also been told that their bishop has already scheduled the sealing and, with this supposed letter saying that I've already given my consent, there is nothing more that can be done. I was told by one person that my child can be sealed to both me and my spouse (after we die and are sealed together by a church member), and my ex and their spouse. Then another person said, "No, you can't be sealed to 4 parents, you can only be sealed to one 'set'." If there is a possibility of her being able to get all of us, that's great and I don't want to hold my child back because of my weaknesses. If, however, there is no chance that they can be sealed to all of us, I am not giving up my child. Whether I believe in the church teachings now or not, I'm not taking that chance. I also find it incredibly disrespectful of my ex to be asking me to do so. I also do not think that my child realizes what she is asking me to do, but could despise me for it in the future, if I allow this. Again, I feel like there is no way that I win in this. Either way, I am the villain. What do I do?