Coco Risu

  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Coco Risu's Achievements


Newbie (1/4)



  1. Thank you all for responding to my post. I just saw your replies now the first time because I didn’t know how this forum works (I thought I would get notices by email or something). My issue turned out the worst nightmare. I found out that he never ended his relationship. He kept sending her texts, videos, and gifts during this whole time I was living in a misery. He gave me a full access to his devices at the beginning of the discovery. While he was in business trip (shortly after I posted here in August) I found more lies and secrets in his external drive. I called him in Germany and called him a liar. He denied all of it and gave me pathetic excuses as always. I told him I didn’t believe any of it anymore and asked him to tell me the truth. He said he needs time and I agreed. He didn’t contacted me for two weeks. I felt like I was at a teial waiting for my sentencing for a crime I didn’t even commit. I was alone at home barley functioning. Also during these two weeks of silence, I found out from her Instagram that he sent her another gifts in July. Not only he didn’t end it back then but he was STILL having a relationship with her? I ended up calling our bishop and our daughter because I had nobody to cry to and his behavior was bad enough and I couldn’t go on anymore. I was so worried that he would harm himself as well. Finally he replied saying he need a professional help. When he came home at the end of August, I told him that I would be here for him to get better and not worry about my healing. He asked me not to ask him anything for a while because he still needed a space. Several days later, I had enough of him pretending like nothing happened because I was still waiting for that sentencing (the truth) from a month ago AND I wanted to ask him about the gifts he might have sent to her. Of course he made excuses and finally said “This needs to end. She (affair partner) needs to stop. Why can’t you believe me? We should call her.” I said yes please. Of course he changed his mind. But I texted her. To make a long story short, I connected with the girl and she shared everything, messages, pictures, videos, and answered everything I asked. She didn’t know he was married until she got my text. He actually slept with her too (He still denies this one). Whole time I was trying to overcome my sadness and be compassionate with his mistakes, he kept his double life because of his inadequacy and insecurity. I let him focus on his healing again. He had a disciplinary council, he has a therapist, and is taking anti-depressants. Thought he was on the right path. Out of the blue, I was prompted to text the other girl whom I never talked to and I found out he texted her beginning of October. My goodness.... Even I’ve been asking for a divorce and planning to move out, he still wants to reconcile because he loves me and sees hope. He knows this is an addiction. But I’m loosing my mind and energy. I lost love and trust long time ago. He created different accounts, email addresses, and even phone numbers. Transparency? Technology these days are wrong. Apps for hiding texts? Apps for creating decoy icons? Having different phone numbers on one phone? I know now that I am a vessel for our Heavenly Father to wake him up. But I’m worried about my mental and spiritual health. I’m so exhausted praying for strength and peace, patience and compassion, and loving His son. What am I to him? I need to keep loving him risking my heart, joy, and happiness? I have a job that I can manage to live by myself. We are doing in house separation and wants to move out soon but I’m scared... Seeking quotes and talks. I’ve listened so many talks already. But if you have anything for me, please share with me.
  2. I found my husband’s emotional affairs 20 months ago. Never thought he was capable of doing such a thing. Since he was too ashamed to admit some truth and/or he erased the memories because of the ashamed and regrets, I didn’t get the full pictures at the beginning. I’m very analytical person so I needed to have full disclosures in order to accept what had happened, who he was those one year with two girls in separate duration, to move on. But he couldn’t give me that, the most important steps to trust. Even it’s been 20 months since I discovered, I found some more lies and I’m so exhausted trying to get out of this nightmares and sadness. i have been searching how the atonement of our savior can help me heal my pain but none can help me so far. It’s not the matter of forgiving my unfaithful mate. It’s me healing that I am struggling with because I’m so sad. I found another lie, he totally denied, last week. I can’t keep doing this anymore. He is away from home for his work and I told him it was over this time. He has been trying hard to mend our relationship but when these lies surface, I go back to 20 months ago and make me think that everything he says and does are not true because I don’t know him anymore. Bishop knows and we are meeting with him periodically. His affairs are still not in public including our 22 years old daughter. I’ve been trying hard to stay with him to protect her from going through the same nightmare as I am going through because she has anxiety issue. Help me understand how the atonement can help people who got betrayed. And if you have any thoughts on in-house separation.