jmsouth

Thank you, and there's no doubt, from him or me, that he is mentally ill. He's the first one to say how screwed up his way of thinking is, but doesn't want to go through any motions to change it. I would love counseling, but can't afford it. Re your second thought.... he doesn't "forbid", but he makes life hell and stressful. The loudest silence you've ever heard, dagger eyes. That's my issue, the repercussions, not only at home but most of all at our business. In his mind, if I move forward and get more connected to my son and his family, I am being disrespectful, disloyal and not a good wife.

I wish you could be a fly on the wall. Unfortunately it is what was described, yet much more complicated and deep. I condensed it greatly. My husband tried counseling for depression for two visits, the second visit he said she was an idiot and walked out. He doesn't discuss his depression with anyone unless they too have depression. Feel free to ask any questions, this is an open conversation, and I'm looking for heartfelt guidance. TIA

Hello, I have been married for 27 years to a man I love very much. When we got together I had a 2 year old son, we then had two more children. All are adults now. My conflict is how do I deal with a husband who 1) has depression 2) jealous of anyone's success 3) has no respect for anyone who doesn't have the same opinion as he does 4) has created isolation in the family, meaning won't go to any family functions, does not connect with any other family other than (our) 2 adult children and his parents. I'm sure that anyone reading that is prob. thinking, why are you still with him?? I wonder that to myself often. We own and operate a business together, work together and are together 24/7. We do this very well and have for over 15 years. My oldest son (30), in the PAST, made a lot of selfish inconsiderate mistakes, everyone does. The two of them haven't spoken in almost 3 years. The problem is that my husband will NOT forgive, accept any apology or move on. My husband wrote a very long letter to my son last year and pretty much told him how much is wrong with him and his wife. My son has (obviously) decided that there is nothing he can do or say, knows that his dad has no respect for him and is tired of constantly being judged and criticized. He does not plan to write any response letter. MY conflict is HOW DO I HAVE THEM BOTH IN MY LIFE?? My husband will not handle it maturely or fairly, of this I am sure. It may even trigger the "divorce" conversation. I have a dear and trusted friend I have talked with this conflict about for years, we pray on it all the time. I pray about it every. single. day. I don't know what to do, what my next step is and I am so apprehensive to tell my husband that I am ready to renew my relationship with my son and his family. Top that off with the holidays are quickly approaching and I have come to a point that they (holiday season) just stress me out horribly because of all this negative conflict.