Larry Kozlowski

Pun intended, right? heh heh

what... back hair?

Yeah, but that's only because we can't read anything besides the letter "R".

The Republican party?

I agree. And to top it off, they're all gay! Gay people may be neat dressers but come on, they aren't all that.

I saw him play in person at the USC game and didn't even know he was a marman boy... and he leads Cal in pancake tackles! Glory Be. And from what I hear.... pancake eating. Lord Praise Us!

Snow, I can't believe you forgot Marvin Philip in this illustrious group mentioned above! Frankly, I am aghast and don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight knowing you snubbed Marvin Philip. This is preposterous and I urge you to add Marvin Philip to the list at once, at least before he wins the Rimington Trophy--given to the nation's best center. Essentially, it was Marvin who made Aaron Rodgers who he is today... for without the "Mormon Nightmare" anchoring Cal's offensive line, Aaron would be on his keister most of the time.Asked if he'd rather go to football camp or on a mission, Philip's replay was, "It taught me to be determined, to work hard," he said. "There's nothing harder than serving a mission. If I could choose two-a-day practices in camp or being out from 9 in the morning to 9 at night, I'll take camp any day." I suggest you say something like, "Marvin Philip? He's only the best center in college... he's nasty and brutal on the field, but as gentle a purring pussycat once the final whistle blows. Golden bear teammates say you won't meet a nicer guy. And he's Mormon." You can use your own words and stuff--but that should give you an idea. Thanks.

I must admit, when I was changing my undies the other day I thought I saw a Republican outside the window peering in. Though I cannot absolutely confirm this without a doubt, I'm pretty sure it was a Republican. As I told the police, the perp was carrying a gun, a couple oil rigs, a stack of invalid Ohio registrations, Bill Bennett's Book of Virtues, a slot machine, a Bible, and an entire journal composed of Proud Duck's greatest posts ever. Though I mentioned to the police that I was all that they merely told me I was a French sympathizer and told me to go sign a petition or something.

And while we pound mercilessly on the libs why is it the militant, yellow-bellied environmentalists are always these big fat beefy guys? I mean seriously---take this guy from Sierra Whatever It's Called: fat guy. Dude could be the entire offensive line for the Dalla Cowboys. He's bigger than Rhode Island (not that that liberal cess pool of a state is anything to crow over). No embellishment here! SUWA's head honcho? Fat Guy who makes Rick Majerus look like Kate Moss on a 39 day Survivor diet! My hunch is that on the one hand these elitist enviro-fat boys are scolding us ultra neo-cons about conservation! conservation! conservation! and no drilling of oil whatsoever around landscapes on par or prettier than west Ogden, and on the other hand chowin down on Big Macs with extra special sauce. I mean what's the deal Neil?! And don't be telling me that we're not allowed to go dwelling in Yellowstone without our 6 cyclinder, 220 horsepower turbo-charged snowmobiles fitted with high-tech, titanium gunracks because that'll happen over my cold dead body.

I did too. Paly High, in fact. We use to kick Homestead's keister in water polo every chance we got (Homestead is Cupertino's high school, in case you don't follow). Let that be a lesson to you...

Speaking of evolution, looks like Urban Meyer just might be the next Notre Dame football coach. Good for Notre Dame, bad for Utah. :-(

I am also of this culture we call Utah. I work out at Ja Hobo Fitness. I am buff.

Yeah, where does this elistist deal come from?! It's a totally fallacious and undeserved stereotype! I mean, I'm a liberal, and granted--I'm better than all of you--but I'm smart enough to know that I'm not all that, though I am very close to being all that. I will definitely be all that in 2008, I can tell you this much.

Oh come on now, peoples! can we not just drop these two-bit personal assaults on one another and just hug? ...Or is that considered acting too homo for you right-wing, conservative war-mongers now? (tee hee)

FAITH, n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary.THE MEDIA, n. Immoral elitist liberally-biased traitors who should leave Republicans alone so they can complete God's work on Earth in peace and quiet, behind closed doors. PHILOSOPHY, n. Religion. BONUS DEFINITION: NEOCONSERVATIVES, n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.