[Voices in my head?]

Hey again, I just looked at your profile and see that you are 15 so I want to suggest that you talk with your parents about this. They will be able to help you better then anyone else can. They love you.

[Voices in my head?]

Oh sweetie,

NO, Ofcourse you are not accountable for them. Don't worry yourself about that. Don't be afraid to go talk to your bishop about this and ask him for a blessing and help. I am not a professional but this sounds like there is a possibility you may have scitzophrenia. My SIL has it and I know a few others who do. don't let it scare you. If you do have it it is merely a psychological disorder. It in no way means you are crazy and it can be treated. It is also possible that Satan is just working extra hard on you. He may know that you have an important roll to play in the Lord's work and is trying to thwart it. I have had experiences like that in my life on a number of occasions. Whatever it is it is nothing for you to be ashamed about or feel guilt over. Go talk to your bishop sweetie. He will help you.

hugs,

Shauna

AKA mustardseed

Hello. I know i should talk to my church authorities about this and not post it on the internet, but I am far too embarassed about it that the authorities would never look at me the same again. By the way, I am new to the website. I have been LDS my whole life.

Anyways, I will get on to the topic.

For quite several weeks weird things have been happening to me. There are strange voices at the back of my head telling me to do all sorts of evil things. but I say (In my head), No, get away. Im not listening to you! But they are still there. They tell me to do all manners of evil such as stealing, lying, killing, and even telling me to deny the church and all of its doctrines. But I say No get out of my head! But they still remain. What confuses my the most is am I held accountable for these thoughts? I know they are not really mine, since I know that I never want to do any evil but they are in my head so does that mean they are mine? I know people will tell me, Oh thats called temptations that are trying to corrupt you. As long as you don't actually do any of them you'll be fine. This is so weird because they have never gotten into my head until several weeks ago. And the weird part of this is that I just woke up one day and these things start appearing in my head. And now the worst part is that everytime I start doing things such as practicing my instruments, the same voices scream in my head. but i got a chair test tomorrow and i need to practice. I have prayed about this many times but I feel like I am not given an answer because these are actually my thoughts, but not my true thoughts so therefore if my thoughts tell me to do evil then I will not get any blessings because of my evil thoughts. But I know they are not really mine but are they since they are in my head? Am I still held accountable? Is it too late for forgiveness? This is a very confusing situation.

[Why do i feel so lost sometimes?]

Good thoughts, wonderer. I'm glad that this thing sent me an e-mail because I didn't get to finish my thoughts and could not find this thing again. This site is really hard to navigate. Anyways, I also wanted to say that because it appears to you like you are not getting answers and that the Lord isn't working in your life does not mean that that is the case. You are only aware of small portion of what is going on. Somebody did a wonderful illustration of this idea where they ahd a picture that was matted. It looked like a picture of just a flower or tree( I can't remember what it was, but that's not important) when they removed the mat we realized that actually it was a picture of an immense landscape.

Also, it is very commendable that you are taking action to improve your life. Give yourself credit and keep trying.

[Why do i feel so lost sometimes?]

You have gotten some really good responses here. One thing that stuck out to me is that you said that you don't need medication. I have had depression for nearly 20 years. Incidentally, my depression started when I was on my mission. Just from reading your original post lost of red flags went up. YOu saying something like "God should just take me" is pretty serious. I understand your hesitation in not wanting to be on medication. I have felt the same way. I especially don't like the prescription ones. Here are the links for two natural ones that I have found that I like. they really do help get your chemicals back in balance so you can feel good and not have that yucky fog and feeling of hopelessness and despair that make it so hard to feel the spirit.

Iceland Health Mood Enhancement Formula Clarocet Product Family: Official Website USA - Occasional Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Depressed Mood and Occasional Sleep Difficulty -- Clarocet is a natural alternative and not a treatment This site has been a huge help to me in recognizing the symptoms of depression and giving me the tools to deal with it.

uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/

Life can be very confusing and I imagine that the fact that you didn't complete your mission is causing you to worry that the promises in your blessing have possibly become void. I had those kinds of worries myself. It's a very long story but things have happened in my life that seem to somewhat contradict with things in my blessing. One thing you need to remember is that Heavenly Father knows that you have depression. He understands how hard it is for you. Also He is all knowing, all powerful etc while we have limited vision, knowledge and understanding. You can't limit Him. ;-) Hope all of this makes sense and helps.