Writer_Chick1213

ok I didn't mean to come off sounding like my ward is evil. I was talking about the general attitude of the members in this area. Snow has a point that its not every single member is out to get me...however in my experience the authority figures in the ward such as the bishop, the relief society president, and the young womens president do treat my family differently. And yes it might be partly my fault, i'm not perfect and neither is my family there have been times where my family has been in the wrong too but i don't think that justifies the treatment we have recieved. If you were to bring up my family to the bishop or RS president in a casual non accusing manner just asking what they thought of my family they would tell you some pretty negative things and point out all of our struggles and critize us....how would i know this? because there were a set of senior couple missionaries serving in our ward that were extremely kind to us and became like family and they did ask the bishop, RS president, YM/YW leaders and they got that response. They told us they couldn't believe the things that were said about my family and the way we were treated in the ward. They said that judgements were made based on surface impressions and stereotyping the situation. So its not just my perspective. I can understand how snow would come to that conclusion...i've examined my attitude and thought the same thing, that maybe its me that needs to change. Well i've tried to change and accept my bishop and my ward but something tells me thats not how the church is supposed to function. I don't know maybe I am still wrong but it is my feeling that there is prejudice in the church against families that do not fit the perfect description. I want to thank those who have given me advice and explored the issue with me. Both my mother and I have spoken with the bishop before and nothing has come of it. Maybe the Lord has some lesson for my family to learn through this trial. It has taught us not to rely so much on the structure of the church but to rely on ourselves and the Lord more than anything. So in a year I will move to Rexburg Idaho and have a completely fresh start and my mom hopes to do the same soon after. I've come to the conclusion that I just have to ignore the treatment and unless I absolutely need something from my ward i'll manage on my own. I know the church is true and that the members are just human so i'll just hold to my faith survive the next year and start fresh in a year. You know the saying kill them with kindness? Well I've decided i'll attend all my meetings with a big smile and try and do my best to live the gospel despite the fact that hurtful comments from others have shaken my faith in the past. The Lord knows i'm doing my best and that me and my mother are faithful so I guess thats all that counts. Thats exactly how things are and you're right i'm just going to choose to change the way I think about it and focus on the gospel more than the members of the gospel.

Idacat we're pretty much in the same situation. My entire ward treats us like this not just the bishop, I was hoping the bishop would be a little more understanding but I guess not. Its actually not just our ward but the majority of people I have encountered in the church think the same way about divorced parents. The very first day we moved here we had people from the ward come over and say hi and some priesthood holders help us come unload boxes but it was like as soon as they found out that my mom was divorced it was like we became outcasts. I've found this almost everywhere though. When my sister moved to Utah she actually just lied about her parents being divorced and the treatment she recieves there as compared to here is exact opposite. As to this being a pattern of our bishop and ward it seems to be in the way that we are treated but there is only one other divorced family and they are quite wealthy so they never have to ask for the help of the church but the treatment they recieve in the social setting of the church is much the same. There have been a few missionaries that i've met that have been very nice and always been willing to help that i've become friends with. But that has always been ruined by rumors spread by other young women in the ward that I encourage missionaries to break their standards which is completely untrue. This has become such a problem that most of the time I don't want to attend church at all. I try to avoid the other activities aside from sunday meetings. Its really affecting my faith. I've come to the conclusion that all I can do is wait for another year till I move to BYU Idaho and then do like my sister did and hide my family situation. Which I hate to do and I don't want my mom to think I am ashamed of her because I most certainly am not. I am extremely proud of all that my family and the Lord have accomplished together despite our circumstances. But am I justified in lying about my parents? I know dishonesty is wrong but attending church in that setting is almost unabarable.

I attend a small ward with my single mother and younger adopted brother and my family and I have been having some problems with the Bishop. I know the counsel to trust in the Lords servants and I want to follow the counsel of my Bishop but its become very difficult lately. Everytime I talk to him even if its just in the hall at church I feel like he's looking down on me and my family. He often simply refuses my moms requests for help in the manner of priesthood holders helping with a few repairs around the house and request for hometeachers and things like that. However other families ask for help and within weeks there are service projects organized, which members of my family almost always attend ane help out with. In the scriptures it says that the members are supposed to look after the widowed and the fatherless, well my mom is divorced and my father is gone so we don't have any priesthood holders in my house, which is why the support of our bishop is needed. Bishops are supposed to have a confidentiality thing right? I know he's broken that because my sister who now lives elsewhere had cancer and my mom told him and asked for some direction in the matter and help in fasting and prayer. We kept the matter a secret from the ward because we didn't want a big fuss and everyone asking questions but then later his wife comes up to me and asks how my sisters surgery went. So I really feel I can't tell my bishop anything. He really shows no respect for my family at all. And actually no concern for our welbeing really. All of the other young women in our ward have an interview yearly with him but I haven't had one in 4 years unless i've asked for it. Its to the point where i just try and avoid my bishop because I can't stand the way he treats me and my family. My family desperately wants to move or attend another ward, but right now that isn't possible. I'm not sure what to do, his behaviour is causing serious problems. I don't mean to sound like i'm just complaining about him, I realize no one is perfect but when its to the point that its affecting my faith, i'm not sure what to do anymore...any suggestions?

begood2: Thank you very much for your kind words. I do have a wonderfully loving mother, who tries her best to live the gospel and raise her children in righteousness. Its comforting to think that this little boy is supposed to be in our family and sent to us for a reason, instead of us being a last resort for him. I want to thank all of you for your opinions and information on the matter, after much study and prayer i've come to the conclusion that such things don't have to be worried about in this life. God is merciful and wants his children to be happy so I can't see him denying us happiness as a family. Instead of worrying about this, I've decided to just live every day that we have with this wonderful little boy to the fullest and show him as much love as possible. We'll focus on striving to be worthy to be a celestial family and leave the rest up to the Lord. I'm reminded of a scripture mastery from seminary: Proverbs 3:5-6 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I think that pretty much says it all. Its one of my favorite scripture masterys and not just because it was short and easy to memorize.

In no particular order, and I definetly have many, many more: Our Lady Peace Sugarcult Greenwheel Greenday Billy Talent Saliva The Starting Line Something Corporate The Used Arcane 51 Story of The Year The Exies The Killers The Offspring Seether Unwritten Law Taking Back Sunday The Early November New Found Glory Bowling For Soup Breaking Benjamin Jimmy Eat World Rufio My Chemical Romance Hawthorne Heights

My Mom is divorced, still single, and she is currently fostering a little boy and wishes to adopt him. My question is can she be sealed to him if she adopts him or does she have to be married to a priesthood holder? My mom has no desire to be married again and as a family we are doing well with out a priesthood holder in our home. I know the ideal situation would for this little boy to be adopted by a family with two parents but he is a special needs child and has already been placed 7 times and he's only 5, he was deemed unadoptable by social services but he has been with us for almost a year and we're making things work. Is there no way to have him sealed to us even though my mom isn't married?

Stereotypes suck but there is nothing we can do about them. Its just peoples natural instinct to try and define and categorize things, so people end up with a label. I always get the label of snob because I don't go to the drinking parties at school and i'm really shy and quiet. Outside of school in like church I somehow get labelled as a "troubled teen" which makes no sense cuz thats the exact opposite of me. My family doesn't exactly fit into the typical mormon family category so everyone expects me to get hooked on drugs, become pregnant, and drop out of highschool. lol i'm totally the black sheep in my ward. Even though I haven't done anything...its funny.

lol ya i know, i barely have time to sleep or eat yet social life is still a prioriety. gotta love how that works

Thats a tough decision, and there isn't a general rule to follow. It has to be decided on an individual case basis. It would depend if he can concentrate on the work and not be distracted by having a girlfriend waiting for him. If you write him you also have to be sure that your letters are appropriate and allow him to focus on his mission. There are benefits to breaking up too though, this way you also are free to date others and there isn't a possibility of the dreaded Dear John letter. When he gets back if circumstance allows then you two can get back together. There isn't any church docterine or guidance that I know of on this issue. I'm in a similar situation myself so i've looked. well I wish you good luck and I hope everything works out for the best!

lol I swear i'm cursed! I was walking home from work today and there was a dog that wasn't on a leash and he ran up to me and started growling and then jumped on me, i fell down, hit my head and i have a mild concussion. He tried to bite me but just got my jacket and ripped a huge hole in it. This has not been a good week...but i have to laugh because everything that could go wrong has. its kinda funny.

I just never have to write my math exam. Its a secure exam so you can't write it any other time than when its scheduled. Lol its funny that in my last post I said I can breathe now because about 15 minutes later I had an allergic reaction to the medication I was given and had to go back to the Emergancy room. lol but i'm alive and somewhat well so its all good.

What all of a sudden you can interpret what Heavenly Father wants better than the prophet? Thats arrogant of you. And to address all the comments about how money and looks are what make a marriage work. Money gets spent and lost, looks fade, when your 90 and in a nursing home together your not going to care about any of that. Its love and respect that make a marriage work. Look at President and Sister Hinkley's marriage. I've seen plenty of marriages that are successful where the couple has next to nothing financially. Yes money makes it easier but it isn't a neccessity. And as for sex. It is ordained for a couple in the bounds of marriage as an expression of their love and a means of bringing children to the earth, not as a fullfillment of their carnal needs. In the book True To The Faith it says: "Remember that marriage in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other."

Well I am now finished exams. I aced my social, passed my bio, did well on my english, failed my chem, and then this morning when I was supposed to write my math I had to go to the emergancy room instead because I had such a bad headache I kept passing out. so ya i'm done i can breathe now. yay. well except for the fact that my head still feels like its going to explode. but meh oh well.

To make a puzzle all you have to do is write your message on a piece of paper space the words out and make them fairly big, then with a pencil trace out puzzle pieces to divide it up, then cut it out. Or at least in theory that should work...never actually tried it. Lol but don't make it too many pieces that are really small because my sister's fiance did that to her and she just gave up on it.

*SCREAMS* lol I just needed to blow off some steam. I have finals this week. I'm taking a double course load to graduate a year early so this semester I had classes when the max you can have is 4. And I've had a final everyday this week. And the wonderful administration at my school scheduled two of my exams at the same time. So today I get to school at 8 and I won't be home till 6 because I have to write one exam in the morning, then in the afternoon, and then after school I have to make up for the one that was scheduled for the same time as the morning one. AHHHH. I'm going insane. Lol sorry i just really needed to get that out of my system...this post is totally irrelevant. so ignore me and continue whatever you were doing. Bye!

oi. Ok obviously i'm not married, but do you really think that is what marriage is about? Who's in control? Sex? Money? I really suggest you go to the proclamation to the family set out by the first presidency. I mean my gosh, the tips you people are giving (except for pushka, that actually made sense) are sure ways to destroy a marriage. In all of these you're showing a complete lack of respect for each other which is what often causes a marriage to deteriorate. This lack of respect can lead to abuse, physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse. My suggestion for the person who asked the question: don't listen to anyone on here, go to the scriptures, and the prophets advice.

lol dang that is so sweet! anywho...ya thats a tough one to measure up to...well...um i dunno, what i've seen before is you make a puzzle that says something sweet about her or that gives clues to meet you somplace special, then you put the pieces in ballons, put them in her room so she has to pop all the ballons and then put the puzzle together, you could put other things in too, if you get big enough ballons, hersheys' chocolate kisses, with a note saying how you wish you could kiss her or something (you didn't meantion if you were a couple or anything) Hmm other than that, there is always writing a song or something since i know your an awesome pianist and poet. lol i dunno i'm not really that great of thinking of romantic things...maybe this will give you a start....good luck!

Ok I really hope you were joking Cal. If not then you deserve to have your ___s cut off as you so elequently put it...lol jk. I don't think that was the kind of advice they were looking for. There is another post in the gospel discussion section that has a lot of opinions in there. also try www.lds.org and type divorce in the search thingy there. From my perspective I can offer some insight. My parents divorced when I was 8 and i'm 16 now. Nothing has ever been more of a witness to me of why Heavenly Father set up the family the way he did. It is essential to have both parents there to raise their children. My father was not active in my life and it has had great consequences in my life. A divorce should be avoided at all costs but sometimes there is no other option...also see the book true to the faith because it has a good section on divorce. Divorced families have to work especially hard to be successful in the gospel. Each member of my family with the exception of my mother has become inactive at some point but now everyone is active except for my father. When divorce does occur there is often a lot of judgement and blame placed on the family from other members. This is wrong. Its not the members place to judge, its Heavenly Fathers. Often families get pushed away from the gospel when the exact opposite is what is needed. I found it comforting to think of it this way: since my father on earth wasn't there for me, it was a comfort to know that I still had a Father in Heaven that loved me unconditionally. I can't really answer much for you that the general authorities haven't already said a thousand times better. However if you have more questions you can just pm on this site or e-mail me at [email protected]

haha none. most days i leave my house at 5am and get home at 10pm then do homework till midnight or so. and when i am home i'm doing more homework. but then again every once in awhile i say screw doing all that and just relax. it keeps me somewhat sane.

awwwww...now i am very very sad....he just e-mailed me and said that he had to cancel and he was sorry but he has to go to a friends wedding. so he said maybe some other time...i don't know if he's blowing me off or what:(:(

lol this week is going by so slow! but ya we are going out saturday, 7:30ish and we're going bowling. Lol i couldn't bowl to save my life...this should be interesting and filled with embarrassment. oh well still should be fun. lol yay! ya i'm still happy and floating because of this. This is the guy that i wanted to ask to grad but i was way too shy. so i think i can probably do that now. yay! lol thanks all for caring *hugs to everyone*

I am so happy i'm bouncing off the walls. This guy that I really really like, who is the most sweet, kind, funny, gentleman ever just asked me on a date. He's a really good friend of mine, and i'm so happy. I don't think he means it as more than a friend but i'm ok with that too. I just love being with him. I'm cool just being friends. So we're going out this saturday . I can't wait...lol i'm floating and can't stop smiling. . anyway i know that this is completely insignificant to everyone else but i just wanted to say YAY!!!

Well its not something he really likes to talk about and share details but from what he's told me the tumor is pushing on his pulmonary artery, i think. He told me that he needs a lung transplant because the cancer is spreading. But I doubt he will be able to get one. He's not a member and he has been smoking since he was 8 and his parents have smoked all his life. He also refuses to give up smoking no matter how many people tell him he has to. He says if he's going to die he's going to at least be happy. He also lives in England now and I live in Canada. So I can't really be there for him or talk to his mom to find out whats really happening. So I still don't know what to do.

ok so here's the deal. I dated this guy for awhile who isn't a member. we broke up because I didn't want to be in a serious relationship with someone who couldn't take me to the temple. So then christmas eve we were talking and then he tells me he has a tumor in his lung and its likely that he will die. We were both crying and we started saying how much we loved each other and things like that. Well we're still talking and he respects that I don't want to get back together but he thinks I still love him as more than a friend when I don't. So he keeps talking about how much he loves me and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt his feelings and he keeps saying that i'm the reason he's fighting to live and I can't just tell him I don't like him anymore because it would crush him. I still love him as a friend but thats it. Anyone have any advice on what to do? Should I just let him believe that I love him for the last few months of his life? Or do I tell him the truth and hurt him really badly? HELP!!!

so i've been doing some more reading and still nothing is clear. Is it possible that there just isn't an answer that anyone knows of? All the talks and stuff i've read are very vague. So if my bishop doesn't know, should my stake president? If he doesn't know, who then? President Hinkley?!?!?