Hello
I'm Amy. I converted 13 years ago. I had wanted to convert since I was 20 but my 1st Husband absolutely refused to let me. It was rough, my 2nd husband was not religious but let me do it because it was so important to me. I was active while in lived I Washington but when I moved to Oregon I had major difficulty making friends in my new ward. I was treated like an outsider and never felt wanted or invited. I still struggled on for over a year before I stopped going. Noone seemed to care and it seemed to validate my feelings of not belonging. I was maybe a bit overly sensitive back then. I am not sure, as I suffer from social anxiety.
We had recently moved and I hopped on to my lds account to work with employment services to see if I could find a little job while working on my graduate degree.
I have always remained devoted to working on my genealogy, last week imagine my surprise when I found that my 4th great grandparent's were Mormon pioneers. Finding this information and reading their story and struggles suddenly awakened an overwhelming feeling. I think I cried when I realized that I wasn't alone in joining the church. It felt like I was validated when my family had all acted like I'd done something crazy when I was baptized 13 years ago.
Well now here I am, perpetually placing myself in awkward scenarios. In another new place where I know nobody. I have contacted the clerk at my ward to request my membership record and try to see if there is a place for me with all of my faults and 10 year absence. I feel like I've forgotten everything which makes me apprehensive, so here I am reading around on the forums and the lds site. Baby steps. ?