Who's Da Bomb?

[Snow]

Landyard Think Tank Announces Results of New University Research

 

2/3/2005

BRUNSWICK, Ga. – Landyard announced the results of two university studies providing new details about their comprehensive research definitively demonstration that Mormons, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, were up to 47% better than non-Mormons.

Beginning in July 2001, Dr. Dalton Bellweather at Oklahoma State University conducted a study to determine how Mormons compared to non-Mormons generally and to other religionists specifically. The study compared Mormon effectiveness and overall quality in a variety of settings and conditions and found that in most every measure they exceeded their non-Mormon counterparts in comparable demographic groups across the board both with and without contrast.

“Based on one year’s research at a single site, we found that the Mormon population was superior to the non-Mormon population an average of 36%,” Dr. Bellweather said. “On the high end Mormon women score better than Evangelical women by slightly over 47% while Mormon men are better than European Catholics by just 27%.”

Dr. Bell also stated that the study found that while there was no statistical difference between Mormon and non-Mormon babies, Mormons began to show marked improvements to the control groups within the first 3 and 1/2 years. In an unexplained anomaly, it was discovered that Methodist females from the Pacific Northwest, aged 22 to 37 were superior to their Mormon counterparts"

Meanwhile, under the direction of Dr. Mike Bluherd, the University of Arkansas conducted a study beginning in August 2002 to compare the caliber of Mormon converts to mainstream Christian converts. "We found Mormons to exceed non-Mormons in 78 out of 82 categories including efficacy, quality, and value," said Dr. Bluherd...

[Amillia]

Where are the specific catagories of superiority? Superior in what way? That was the most wishywashy, generalized muck I have ever waded through!

[Snow]

Originally posted by Amillia@Apr 1 2005, 11:44 PM

Where are the specific catagories of superiority? Superior in what way? That was the most wishywashy, generalized muck I have ever waded through!

What's wrong Amillia?

The study clearly said that Mormons were superior and more effective; it went on to specify how Mormons compared to specific non-Mormon demographic groups.

[Guest JRodan]

Originally posted by Snow@Apr 2 2005, 12:51 AM

Landyard Think Tank Announces Results of New University Research

According to the time/date stamp on that post, April Fools' Day for 2005 had expired 51 minutes earlier. Though it seems even that shouldn't excuse anyone with at least a GED of being tricked by an official-sounding spoof.

(BTW, it's "Lanyard" vs. "Landyard")

*************************************************************

Written by Willy LePunque

A long discussed proposal to change the date of April Fools Day to April 15th became actual initiative today as papers were signed, hands were shaken, and fannies were patted all around at the offices of the Taxpayers Association in Largo, Florida. Curtis Holmes, founder of the Taxpayers Association, was himself on hand to discuss the formalization of this movement to have the well-known and time-honored April Fools Day changed from April 1st to April 15th. Holmes spoke at length throughout the hot and humid Florida afternoon, swilling iced tea all the while, expounding on such themes as appropriateness of this measure, and the true definition of the word Fool.

"Why, I believe there has never been a more closely related instance where a group of people have measured so well with a word, as Americans, and the word Fool. Americans gladly pay well over 30% of their earnings to swindlers who produce nothing but bad news which always gets worse, thereby ensuring their children are even more encumbered by the same swindlers a generation later. If that is not foolishness, what IS?

Holmes's eyes get large and you can tell he is just warming up. "When one considers the actual origins of both April Fools Day, and April 15th as Tax Day" drawls the effervescent Holmes, "It is not too hard to see that there are actual associations whereby perhaps a certain type of people are more easily schnook red at certain phases of the moon, or at least the phases of the moon during that time of year, so there must be some mistake, some mix-up, and we are here to at least set this straight, seeing as putting a stop to the swindle of taxes and vigorish and usury seems to be totally out of the question..."

The Taxpayer himself, Curtis Holmes, continues forward in his quest for truth, and oblivious to all else, even those going screaming and kicking, drags the present into the future along with him. To obtain petitions write the Taxpayers Association Box 887 Largo Florida 33543. Lets Do It. We will let the future know that even though we were helpless to really accomplish anything against the plight that afflicts us, we were at least aware of it! Make April 15th April Fools Day!

[john doe]

According to the time/date stamp on that post, April Fools' Day for 2005 had expired 51 minutes earlier.

Hmmm, my time/date stamp on my computer puts it at 11:51 pm, putting it clearly in under the wire. Add to it the fact that, and correct me if I 'm wrong, Snow lives in the Pacific time zone, in appears he posted it around 10:51 his time. I think he made it on this one.

[Guest JRodan]

Originally posted by john doe@Apr 2 2005, 09:39 AM

...I think he made it on this one.

I must agree with you. Ergo, no excuse for letting that one slip under the radar.

[Amillia]

Originally posted by Snow+Apr 2 2005, 03:39 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Snow @ Apr 2 2005, 03:39 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Amillia@Apr 1 2005, 11:44 PM

Where are the specific catagories of superiority? Superior in what way? That was the most wishywashy, generalized muck I have ever waded through!

What's wrong Amillia?

The study clearly said that Mormons were superior and more effective; it went on to specify how Mormons compared to specific non-Mormon demographic groups.

All munch bunch!

[Cal]

Inspite of Snow's, snowjob, I think Mormons are superior in most categories of social and psychological health. It is a well established fact, by reliable studies, that the longest life expectancy of any subgroup of americans is Mormon high priests.

Also, it is a fact that Utah, for over 40 years, out produced all the others states in professional scientists on a per capita basis, as is still near the top, if not the top. (the latest update on that study was done in the late 90's) If it is not due to Mormon influence, at least it can not be said with any credibility that Mormonism stiffles intellectual achievement.

[Guest Taoist_Saint]

Have a nice summer!

[Cal]

Originally posted by Taoist_Saint+Apr 6 2005, 12:48 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Taoist_Saint @ Apr 6 2005, 12:48 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Cal@Apr 6 2005, 12:44 PM

Inspite of Snow's, snowjob, I think Mormons are superior in most categories of social and psychological health. It is a well established fact, by reliable studies, that the longest life expectancy of any subgroup of americans is Mormon high priests.

I would not be surprised it that is true.

However, while they may have longer life expectancies, a good portion of their life is spent in repetitive meetings.

It is important to look at QUALITY of life, in addition to QUANTITY.

Haven't you heard, nothing makes a man happier than to spend an hour away from women! Talk about quality of life! What a relief! Why do you think they live so long. (Sorry, ladies, just joking!--sort of)

[Guest curvette]

Originally posted by Cal@Apr 6 2005, 12:44 PM

It is a well established fact, by reliable studies, that the longest life expectancy of any subgroup of americans is Mormon high priests.

And yet, aren't men outlived by women by approximately seven years (on average?) I wonder if these studies are only on male populations. I wonder how LDS women measure up to our non LDS counterparts on life expectancy.

[Guest Taoist_Saint]

Have a nice summer!

[Guest curvette]

quantity.

[Cal]

Originally posted by curvette+Apr 6 2005, 12:59 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (curvette @ Apr 6 2005, 12:59 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Cal@Apr 6 2005, 12:44 PM

It is a well established fact, by reliable studies, that the longest life expectancy of any subgroup of americans is Mormon high priests.

And yet, aren't men outlived by women by approximately seven years (on average?) I wonder if these studies are only on male populations. I wonder how LDS women measure up to our non LDS counterparts on life expectancy.

It would be interesting to know--I haven't seen any data on it. I'll bet the wives of High Priests out live them.