few questions about cancellation of sealing..

[derekp]

please remove from forum. i have recieved all the relevant information needed. thanks

Edited June 15, 2009 by derekp

[john doe]

'Jon' and the woman in question need to end their relationship and not contact each other until or unless her old one ends. She needs to enter into marriage counseling with her husband and try to save her marriage. 'Jon' needs to move on and find another good woman whom he will love and be able to be sealed to himself. Hoping or waiting for the end of a marriage so you can get together is not a healthy thing, and can be destructive both spiritually and emotionally.

[derekp]

thank you for your sound advice john doe. its much appreciated. if she chose a different path what are your thoughts on this bit?

A

First off she is afraid that she will never be granted a cancellation of sealing because neither party commited any serious trangressions such as adultery or abuse. What exactly is the likelihood of being granted a cancellation of sealing if it was a problem of being a bad fit, and also the fact that she loves someone else more than her husband?

QUOTE]

[Wingnut]

I agree with John Doe, and would also add that in regard to all the questions about sealings, that she should be talking to her bishop about those issues, not to a friend who is talking to people online.

[qedd]

Apologies if this response comes across excessively harsh. This situation is sadly common. It is out of concern for the parties involved that there may be a touch of sharpness.

i am new to the site, i hope this is in the right spot.

Actually, no. Jon and Salena should be meeting with their bishops, branch presidents, or stake presidents on this.

my friend is currently involved in a very complicated situation and wanted me to clarify some things that i had no answers for.

The situation is actually very simple.

First i think you need a little insight into the past situation to shed light on it. When my friend, jon, was sixteen years old he met a girl who changed his life. He was lds by name only. his parents are divorced and only one side of the family was active, which was not the side he lived with. the girl, salena, was brought up in a very strict mormon family. They fell in love. it was like nothing i had ever seen before. they were so close, like best friends, who never left each others side. jon decided he wanted to spend eternity with her. he began the process of becoming worthy and was ordained a teacher at a very late age: 18. Their relationship fell apart after high school even though they both still desperately loved each other.

The background to this story really isn't relevant.

She eventually went to byu idaho and found another man. They were sealed in the temple not long after.

Important to note.

later jon recieved an email from her telling him that she rushed into her new marriage and that she was not very happy, even though she lives the gospel to a t. They began to talk a little and they both realized how desperately they still loved each other. please dont comment on what a bad person she is or that she shouldnt have been talking to him in the first place because thats not what advice im looking for.

This is the point at which she failed to remain faithful to her husband. Being unfaithful emotionally is just as bad, if not worse, than physically. This is infidelity. This tears families apart.

Now this is the situation as it currently stands. She still desperately loves jon with all her heart and wants to be with him more than anything.

Once again, while they may not have consummated their affair, it is an affair nonetheless.

She has been completely honest with her husband and there has been no case of infidelity other than words.

If honesty were an effective means of absolving one of responsibility for infidelity, lust, fornication, or adultery, then living as a swinger would be an acceptable lifestyle.

They are not very happy for a number of other reasons besides jon. They suffer from very poor communication and they both claim that they are a poor match for one another. He has had problems with pornography, and still currently struggles with it. She decided to leave her husband, but its not really that simple.

Excuses used to justify improper behavior and muddy the waters.

She loves the church more than anything and would do anything to be a part of it.

The Church is an institution, and her membership therein is merely representative of her standing with her Maker. If the Church itself is all she cares about, then she was never a true member to begin with. If it is her spiritual standing that she really cares about, then discussing this through with priesthood leadership (bishop, branch president, or stake president) is a necessary next step.

Jon wants nothing more than to take her through the temple and be with forever. He loves her more than anything.

If he truly loves her, then he wouldn't put her in a spiritually-compromising situation such as this. Letting this play out sounds a lot like selfishness on his part.

First off she is afraid that she will never be granted a cancellation of sealing because neither party commited any serious trangressions such as adultery or abuse. What exactly is the likelihood of being granted a cancellation of sealing if it was a problem of being a bad fit, and also the fact that she loves someone else more than her husband?

If she was able to recieve the cancellation how long would it be before they could be sealed if at all?

This is a premature line of questioning. Cancellation of Sealings are not a trivial matter.

Like i said she loves the church more than anything, and if she could never recieve the cancellation she would stay with her husband and sacrifice her happiness on earth to be exalted and to live with god.

She does realize that infidelity is contrary to joy, happiness, exaltation, etc., right?

He has said that he could face the fact that she will always love jon like she does now and he would still stay with her. He also is willing to grant her a divorce if she so chooses.

Has no bearing on the real issues here.

I know that god's plan is one of happiness and not unhappiness, but i also know that temple covenants are a serious thing and not to be taken lightly. Please shed some light on the situation and give advice.

His plan is one of happiness and joy. However, Jon and Selena are acting contrary to such. Infidelity of any kind is contrary to the temple covenants, and yes, they are serious.

ps, i know there are lots of errors and that is kind of all over the place but im just trying to get it down on paper. Also im not very instructed in the church so forgive me for any errors on that front.

You are just fine.

Thanks in advance for any advice or information to better help understand the entire situation.

The only real advice is for you to kick them in the shins and insist that they meet with their priesthood leaders.

Take care.

[john doe]

thank you for your sound advice john doe. its much appreciated. if she chose a different path what are your thoughts on this bit?

A

First off she is afraid that she will never be granted a cancellation of sealing because neither party commited any serious trangressions such as adultery or abuse. What exactly is the likelihood of being granted a cancellation of sealing if it was a problem of being a bad fit, and also the fact that she loves someone else more than her husband?

QUOTE]

I would guess that her fears are well-founded. She married a guy, promised to be faithful to him in righteousness. If neither one of them is guilty of abuse or infidelity, it would be difficult to find a good reason to cancel her sealing. She needs to find a way to fulfill her part of her marriage vows and cut ties with 'Jon'. 'Jon' needs to find another woman to love. I personally don't believe in soul mates or 'one true loves'. I believe that there are many people who could be compatible eternal mates if they choose righteously.