I'm depressed. Yay!

[miztrniceguy]

here, this will make you laugh! Badgers (Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom! Snake!) | Flash Videos

[Elphaba]

here, this will make you laugh! Badgers (Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom! Snake!) | Flash Videos

I think I'm more depressed than ever now.

Elph

[miztrniceguy]

how could that be more depressing....my children loved it when they were tiny!

[Mahone]

here, this will make you laugh! Badgers (Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom! Snake!) | Flash Videos

special edition - Weebl's Stuff - Lord of The Rings, with all badger scenes fully restored

[miztrniceguy]

yeah...seen it

[ruthiechan]

Even though I wrote the OP, I am really glad you wrote this. I feel a bit irresponsible for having posted the article, because I know how right you are.

I have just barely come up for air after one of the worst depressive episodes I've ever experienced, and I have had quite a few. It was terrifying, because I did not think I was ever going to pull myself out of the mud you spoke of. In fact, I felt like that mud literally ran through my veins, making it impossible for me to even sit upright, much less pull myself out of the stultifying blackness.

That feeling of being sucked under would turn into a terrifying sensation of plummeting into a never-ending darkness. Nothing was normal. Colors made no sense to me. I started hallucinating, which, ironically, became my real world. I knew they weren't real, but I also realized they could stay, real or not.

People would say things to me, and I didn't understand them because I didn't have the strength to push my mind to the place where I could. I withdrew from everything, and everybody, because it was all just too hard.

There is so much more I could say, but it's difficult to write this down because I don't have the words. I am not recovered, but I am much better. I am also terrified that it will return, because I know it can.

As far as ruminating goes, yes, in the most ominous moments of this episode, I would ruminate, over and over, "How am I going to survive this?"

Thanks for throwing some reality onto my thread.

Elphaba

Now, no feeling bad about posting the article.

It has been a long time since been deeply depressed. I remember what it was like and I am so sorry you were in so deep. I am glad that you are doing better though, if not perfect. I hope and pray that you will continue to do better. *hugs*

[ferretrunner]

Depression’s Evolutionary Roots

Two scientists suggest that depression is not a malfunction, but a mental adaptation that brings certain cognitive advantages.

No wonder I'm so smart--I'm depressed!

Frankly, I'd rather be dumb any day than be depressed. But it's true that when I am in a dark place I do ruminate a lot. Too bad I can't tell you what I ruminate about.

Elphaba

Maybe you're depressed because you're smart? I've noticed that intelligent people both tend to become depressed and tend to recover from depression more than people of average or below intellegience. Intelligent people tend to think a lot. Sometimes, that can lead to cognitive distortions or only seeing the negative side of life. But, they also tend to respond very well to recognizing the negative thinking patterns and challenging the disortions. LOL. I think those of us who struggle with depression tend to see more of the whole world than others.