Making out

[Daniel2020]

How about petting?

Petting (like making out) isn't in the same category as fornication and adultery, but it's something you should probably discuss with the Bishop. If for no other reason than by the time you starting petting you're getting very close to committing fornication and talking with your Bishop will hopefully help you get things under control before something more serious does happen.

[ConquestT4]

I dont mean to hijack this thread and funny enough this is my first post I think. I have had some trouble getting my account going but have been on here just reading topics for about a month. Whats funny is lately I had been thinking about the same thing and I wanted to ask about it on here to get opinions because despite what for the strength of youth says it is a grey area for many I believe.

In response to the original poster. Doesnt "head in chest" seem more like petting and less like making out?

I guess everyone had kinda a different idea of what making out is and what it does or can involve.

But.........I have the same question. A little background. I had a girlfriend at age 16 and we slowly got closer and closer. She pushed the physical stuff more than I did but in one or two instances we were what I considered to be too close to the edge. Doing something that I had NEVER planned on doing. I would just decribe it as sensual "kissing"/"making out" (NOT in the horizontal position) but I think its safe to say we were arousing each other (no petting by the way). Afterwards I thought about it a lot and felt that I shouldnt be doing it. I was about 17 at that point. It just ate at me a lot and we eventually broke up for unrelated reasons. I felt the need to talk to my bishop, one, to clarify, and two....I just felt guilty. I wanted to know if I had broken the law of chastity or if it was normal. I had always heard about young couples making out all the time growing up and had always wondered (and still to this day). Long story short I talked to my bishop and it obviously wasnt a big deal that I confessed it. I think I saw him smirk once or twice. He basically said (though I dont remember it that well) that if it was something I felt I shoudlnt be doing then I shouldnt do it. Listen to the Spirit I guess. And I know its not good to try and arouse feelings. I was wrong there for sure.

So I kinda decided that it (kissing more than a peck) wasnt a forbidden thing but it was maybe discouraged because of what it could lead to. I decided to avoid it which ended up being easy without a girlfriend and while I served a full time mission. While on my mission I heard tons of storys and tons of talk of making out, where, with who, how great it is, how much they missed it, how many times, how often, with X amount of girls, etc etc. I was kinda surprised that so many had done it and were so casual about it. I definitely dont think it should be just a casual thing as that seems more like lust to me. All of this confuses me.

Now I find myself as an RM with a wonderful girlfriend who I have only kissed respectfully (we have been together almost a month).....and I dont know what to think about "making out." Im obviously more mature now and would never want to make the same mistake twice but I would be lying if I said it was something I didnt feel like I wanted to do....if that makes sense.

All in all....is this statement appropriate?

It is ok to kiss as long as it is not done with the intentions of arousing either person, not done habitually or out of pure lust but as a way to show affection. Im talking about a guy and a girl lets say hugging and kissing for 15 minutes (just as an example) not aggressively and not petting. I mean... I wouldnt do that in front of my parents....any sort of kiss could be a little awkward but WOULD THAT BE WRONG???

Sorry for the long post!

[Daniel2020]

It is ok to kiss as long as it is not done with the intentions of arousing either person, not done habitually or out of pure lust but as a way to show affection. Im talking about a guy and a girl lets say hugging and kissing for 15 minutes (just as an example) not aggressively and not petting. I mean... I wouldnt do that in front of my parents....any sort of kiss could be a little awkward but WOULD THAT BE WRONG???

What you're describing is very common during courtship. I'd be worried if you didn't feel a need to express affection. A good night kiss, for example, doesn't violate the law of chastity.

[ConquestT4]

What you're describing is very common during courtship. I'd be worried if you didn't feel a need to express affection. A good night kiss, for example, doesn't violate the law of chastity.

Right. I totally understand that and never doubted that but where is the line.

Its hard to tell just because you cant define it. There is a lot of passion you can put into a kiss if you wanted. Making out could be considered just kissing for a long time but to others its more like trying to eat someone.

How does the church expect us to react because I see it as a good thing if its not done out of pure lust and just to do it. If you feel strongly for someone kissing is a way to express that. I see it that way at least. Now when it starts to be something more sexual like super passionate kissing with touching and almost petting then I guess I would consider that wrong.

I dont know. Im sure almost everyone sees it differently

[MormonMama]

I think part of it is really up to the individual. Remember when men would get excited to see a woman's leg above the ankle and so it was considered inappropriate for any woman to show that much leg (yeah, before all our times, but I think we're all aware of it)?

Similarly, if you find that something you are doing is arousing you, then it's probably best that you don't do it. Maybe someone else wouldn't find that particular activity arousing, but if you do, then don't (unless you're married, of course). My husband finds a particular activity very arousing but it does absolutely nothing for me (no, get your mind out of the gutter, lol). Everyone is different.