Questions About Repentance

[Uncle_Sam]

So I'm really trying to get myself ready to go on a mission right now, but I'm far from ready yet. I know there's many things that I must repent and ask forgiveness for. And I've been trying my best to keep my mind and soul clean now, and I truly want to repent of everything that I've ever done. So here's a question I don't know the exact answer to:

While in the repentance process we must confess our sins, but should we confess them to our family as well as our Father in Heaven? I've heard that it's just between us and The Father, unless it involves another person that we've wronged. But it feels like I'm still trying to cover them up when I'm around my family, and I'm sick of that feeling. Even after I repent, certain family members may find out about my past sins and it would be like it's all starting over again. So should I just tell them about all my sins so that I won't have to feel guilty about keeping them secret and always hiding them?

Please, any help is appreciated. This has become such a burden in my life now that it's stalling my repentance process and I want to go on a mission as soon as I can. I'm trying to build my relationship with God every day, but I know I need to get this out of the way to progress. Thank you so much for taking your time to read all this!!!!

[gabelpa]

Here is a question to answer for yourself. Has what you are "hiding" from your family had a direct negative impact on them?

Your family doesn't need to know every little thing you do wrong. In fact, it is not their place to know. As another question, would it make any differance at all if you were to tell them? I suspect it would not. You are an individual, and in many instances, it is just between you and your Heavenly Father. Your parents know you are not perfect, there is no need to drive the point home if what you have done does not affect them.

Here is another thing to consider. We are all hypocrites. By and large, we only sometimes try to do our best, and those of us who do our best all the time, still have cause to repent. You make it sound like you have more serious issues than run of the mill teenager stuff going on though. Your Bishop is really the only one that needs to get involved, and even then only in some cases. Make right what was wrong if possible. If not, don't sweat it. Life is hard enough as is.

[jayanna]

I kind of agree with gabelpa, were your sins about them? For example, did you gossip about them? or steal from them? Confession is about counseling with an authorized church leader, to help you repent. There is nothing that suggests that you are required to confess to people who love you, or people who could be disappointed in you, even a spouse, if they are not involved in any way.

Part of the repentence process is trying to rectify the consequences of sins we have committed, like paying someone for something we stole/broke that belonged to them; or, repairing someone's reputation after we have tried to soil it.

However, if it does not involve them, it is not only not neccessary to share it with them, it can be taking the atonement for granted...expecting forgiveness from God to be given to you through forgiveness from your family, instead of through Christ's atonement. If they can forgive you, then will you be more able to forgive yourself? Why would that weigh less than the sacrament's cleansing power?

You are about to go on a mission, There is an entire section of the Preach My Gospel manual on this very subject. It discusses talking about your sins with others...it also describes the steps of repentence and how to know if you are doing it right. It is lesson #3. Happy reading!

Even after you read it, if you are still troubled, talk with your bishop, tell him what problems you are having, and ask him if it is necessary for you to share them with your family. Trust me, he wants you to go on your mission fully prepared to do the Lord's work. I have a feeling that you might be experiencing this to better prepare yourself to help those you teach on your mission. This is literally one of the steps to prepare for baptism.

[Uncle_Sam]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I'm still sorting all this out and I have to say, I have really noticed some changes in how I feel the spirit lately, and it's good:D I know it's not easy so I'm constantly asking for strength beyond my own to deal with everything. But things are going much better than they were before:)