The Official "bizzare Mission Stories" Thread!

[oaf1984]

There is nothing quite like a mission to bring out the bizzare incidents.

You do not have to be an RM to post, feel free if you witnessed a situation, or whatever.....

I was in the England London Mission from 03-05, I got one to get the ball rolling:

Summer of '03, I was a greenie, on my first day we taught a 1st to a Muslim family in a park. We got a return apointment the next week. We decide to bring a member with us. Bro. X we'll call him. He lived on the same street as Maggie Thatcher used to live on, in a huge house. We thought that he must be some sort of buisness man who had it together (we were both new to the area, did not know anyone).

At the discussion he starts this salesman pitch, some of which included:

"There is Free parking"

"Don't worry, mud gets off the carpets"

"The kids can run wild"

and he also said (and did)

"When we pray we just bow our heads, none of this crazy stuff you people do"

Then he proceeds to actually get on his knees in the livingroom and mocks the way they pray.

I manage to physically force in back in the couch,

He says to "the wife":

"Get me a drink",

Then he goes to the bathroom, for about 30 minutes.

After we managed to get out of the house, he drove us home. On the way he stopped the car(after almost killing us 3 times) and peed on the side of the road.

Valuble lesson learned.

....MUST RESEARCH....

[Jason]

One of my favorites:

I was in a Stake meeting, me (zone leader), the stake prez, mission prez, stake mission prez, and 2nd counselor to the mission prez.

The stake had a meeting a week earlier where they invited two zones to what my zone was told would be satallite broadcase from Salt Lake. Apparently, the stake mission prez decided to make it his personal proselyting night, and the other zone invited their investigators.

Well, so I mentioned that the night was a bit of a disaster for two reasons:

#1. My zone (where it was hosted) had no idea about this investigator night, so we had nobody there.

#2. The stake mission president wasted a lot of time droning on about his life and how the church helped him, blah, blah, blah. It actually had nothing to do with helping investigators in the first place.

Ok, so to end the story, after I finished complaining about the evening, the stake president stands up, raises his arm to the square, and rebukes me "in the name of Jesus Christ!".

He tells me that I must have a devil in me if Im going to complain against such a fine man as the stake mission prez.

So, I look at my mission pres, and he just ignores me. Two weeks later, at the Zone Conference, the 2nd counselor to the mission prez pulls me aside and tells me that the prez agrees with me, but that he can't tell me so "officially".

Gotta love Church politics. B)

[Palerider]

I was serving in Huddersfield England and on my second day there we were tracting. One of the houses we knocked on this lady came to the door and while we were talking to her a big burst of wind came along and blew this womans skirt up and over her head. I think from the shock and embarassment of what happened the poor lady ran back in the house and shut the door and we just went on too the next house. That never happened again the rest of my mission.

While in the same area...we knocked on this one door and a man let us inside. He was Iranian....once inside he told us that in his country some people had just taken several Americans as hostages. He then told us why they did it and informed us that it just happened. He also told us we had no need to fear him. Well after a few minutes of friendly conversation we got out of there quickly. Too many more stories I could share but will spare all of you.......LOL

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

My husband served in the Netherlands/Belgium mission. He says people opened the door stark naked (both men and women) - happened at least a dozen times to him while tracting.

[Jason]

Mom's story reminded me of one..

So I was a new missionary, struggling with the language, had a lousy companion, and we had no investigators. So we decided to dig up a few old contacts and see where that got us. So anyway, we hit this place for an old contact, and this old dude had a hot (and I mean hot) latina chick who lived in this apartment with him and who knows how many others. Anyway, this chick isn't very old (early twenties) and she's got an 8 month old baby. So were talking to our contact and this hot chick unbuttons her blouse, pulls out her milk engorged breast in full view, and reaches for the baby and begins to feed it.

Now, I was 19 at the time, and I dang sure couldn't focus on Joseph Smith and the Holy Spirit I tell you...

Sometimes God is kind enough to give you a little lift when you need one. B)

[oaf1984]

Mom's story reminded me of one..

So I was a new missionary, struggling with the language, had a lousy companion, and we had no investigators. So we decided to dig up a few old contacts and see where that got us. So anyway, we hit this place for an old contact, and this old dude had a hot (and I mean hot) latina chick who lived in this apartment with him and who knows how many others. Anyway, this chick isn't very old (early twenties) and she's got an 8 month old baby. So were talking to our contact and this hot chick unbuttons her blouse, pulls out her milk engorged breast in full view, and reaches for the baby and begins to feed it.

Now, I was 19 at the time, and I dang sure couldn't focus on Joseph Smith and the Holy Spirit I tell you...

Sometimes God is kind enough to give you a little lift when you need one. B)

That reminds me of the time where a lady did that in front of us. I politely turned my head away, only to find a big stack of porn.

[Palerider]

Another funny story.....one day while tracting in Scarborough England we knocked on a door and this man began to tell us how much he hated the USA....he even told us that back in the war of 1776 if we had stood up and fought like men instead of hiding behind rocks and trees we would have gotten our butts kicked....thats right....TRUE STORY.......

[oaf1984]

Another funny story.....one day while tracting in Scarborough England we knocked on a door and this man began to tell us how much he hated the USA....he even told us that back in the war of 1776 if we had stood up and fought like men instead of hiding behind rocks and trees we would have gotten our butts kicked....thats right....TRUE STORY.......

The reality of the situation is that the American rebels all their majr battles by normal warefare.

We had 2 Russian Elders together

Nothing was more funny when they said "Go back to the USA and take your church with you" and They said "We are Russian"

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

This was related to me by a friend . . . seems a little wild to be true, but who knows?

Tracting in Baptist country, in Texas, the Elders finally got a conversation started with a young man, but he was mostly full of guarded curiosity because of all the negative things he had heard about Mormons. Once he saw that the Elders were willing to answer any question he threw out, he asked if it was true that Mormons are the Devil (like we would admit it! - LOL!). One Elder said, "Yeah, in fact, we have little bumps on our heads where the horns will grow in when we're ressurected." The guy was really freaked out and said "No! Really? Can I feel one?" So the Elder let him touch his head, just inside the hairline above his temple. Of course, the guy didn't feel anything. So the Elder said, "try over here on the other side." The guy did. "Still don't feel anything . . . ?? Not even a little bit . . . stupid?"

[Cal]

My husband served in the Netherlands/Belgium mission. He says people opened the door stark naked (both men and women) - happened at least a dozen times to him while tracting.

Some guys just luck out!

[Palerider]

[ldsgurl_2002]

My husband served in the Netherlands/Belgium mission. He says people opened the door stark naked (both men and women) - happened at least a dozen times to him while tracting.

Some guys just luck out!

that doesn't sound like luck to me but thats just my opinion

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

Yeah, it's not like it was only beautiful people who opened the door naked. Fat people. Old people.

He was also offered drugs many, many times.

And in one city he lived in, the Elders lived in an upstairs appartment with an "Old Maid" member downstairs who cooked for them all the time. Except her idea of tenderized meat was meat that had sat out on the counter for a few days.

My sister-in-law served in Hungary. She fell down the stairs in the mission home and needed back surgury. She had to choose between going home to the USA for surgury and ending her mission or staying in Hungary for the surgury and finishing out her mission. She chose to stay there. Hospital conditions are just not the same in Eastern Europe, especially just after the Russians left. Her anesthesiologist was a guy about her age with a beard and tatoos - he was smoking and joking with a friend he had brought to work with him while he was prepping her for surgury - she was totally naked lying on her stomach on the gurney without even a sheet over her.