advice on being a single father

[singledad]

I'm new to the site, and stumbled upon it while trying to search for help being a single LDS father. I keep coming across advice and counsel for single mothers, but there just doesn't seem to be much for a single LDS father.

To give a little bit of my background, I am recently divorced, and was separated for about 9 months before that. My ex lost her membership, and is pretty hostile toward the church. She did allow our son to be baptized a few weeks ago, but I do know that she teaches things contrary to what I have been teaching my kids their entire lives. I'm frustrated and angry that she would do this. I've had plenty of discussions, and thus far have been able to take my son and 3 daughters to church with me every Sunday.

First, how can I go about teaching them gospel principles without flat out telling them their mother is wrong. I don't want to paint a bad picture of her, because I do want them to love their mom and have a great relationship with her. But I also don't want to continuously lie for for her sake.

Second, is there any online resources, or other resources in general, for single LDS fathers? Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks!

[Roseslipper]

Hello and welcome. First I want to say sorry about the div. Im not married, but I know that div. is one of the worse things some of us have to live thru, it is also very hard on the whole family, including the children Just like you have to learn to deal with it, and im asuming its very hard for you, well think if its hard for you how much harder it is for the children. Im a convert to the church. I guess the best thing is not to get angry. Heres a concept you teach the children right princaples, and they have to choose for themselves. If any of them should fall, of course it will hurt like hell.but hopefully they will come back..Just love them, love them unconditionally. Continue to teach them, be as good of an example to them as you can. When your teaching you dont have to put their mother down. Just teach with love, the correct princpals as best as you can. I Know its hard. I know that you probably never excepted this to happen to you. But things happen. Pray for your x wife always. Shes probably hurting alot, we hurt alot inside and dont always show it on the out side. Hopefully she will come back to the church. Maybe u too can work it out again. Maybe not. You have to heal from all of this too. And in time If u and your x cant make it, then it will be time to find your self another wonderful, good, wife. Things happen in life. To me I never thought life would be so hard. BUt it is..It has its ups and downs, twist, and turns. Thank goodness we have a Heavenly Father that loves us ALL, no matter what and He will never let go of any of us...even if we let go of Him. Just hold on. your friend, your sister..Good Luck..remember all we can ever hope for is all the people in our lives, all the people who have touched our lives, is their happiness...This is my opionion>sorry for the missed spelled words..

Edited November 21, 2010 by Roseslipper

[Guest mirancs8]

I'm not a man, but I am recently divorced to a very anti-LDS man. Any chance he gets he is always showing or saying anti LDS stuff. I use to get very upset but then I realized that it really didn't make a difference. I stay consistent in my teaching and in my example so by doing so the children themselves see the truth. You might not thinks so but kids are smarter then what we give them credit for.

My oldest son is determined to get Baptized though his father thinks Armageddon will happen if and when he does. I think this experience the children will have through this process will only strengthen their testimony if in fact they decide to become members of the church (which my oldest is in the process of doing).

I wish you luck and don't let yourself get to upset. You do what you have to do and the Lord will do the rest. My kids see through my examples which makes a huge impact on them.

[rameumptom]

You keep your ex out of this. Tell them what YOU believe. Share your testimony with them. If they say that Mom believes differently, you just explain that she doesn't have a testimony. Then encourage them to find their own testimonies, so that testimony will help them through all the tough times in life.

My wife's ex used to contradict our teachings with my 3 step-kids all the time. We avoided criticizing him, just telling them we had a difference of opinion and belief. Our belief was based on our testimony and love for Jesus, and he would have to explain his own reasoning. Our kids waivered back and forth through their years on who they preferred following, but in the end all are active and faithful in the Church. They contact me for advice and guidance frequently. They know their Dad is truly misguided and wrong on many things, but appreciate the fact that we never attacked him (as he did us). We set an example, shared our testimonies, and loved them, and left the rest to God to work in His own time.