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I'm not sure what you are asking? From your post it seems like:

- You are strong and active in the church.

- You were smacked with trials and tribulations and are working through them.

- You are in a stable marriage, stable enough to adopt more children.

- You are gainfully employed.

If it's a trust issue, well, I'm not sure because you have enough trust in you to remarry and adopt. But it sure seems like you got tested to your ability and you still stayed faithful and optimistic. If you're searching for direction, well, it looks like you're pointed the right way.

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