The Temple Interview and MY Responsbilities

[virtue025]

Hello everyone. I am a brand new "junior" member here and very new to the forum discussion thing and honestly, I am a little bit self-conscious and hesitant. But I'm gonna put faith into the wonderful members around the world and trust that the Lord always leads the right people in the right direction for others needs. So please, if you feel prompted even in the littlest of ways to respond to this posting, PLEASE follow that? I would be eternally grateful for any answers...

Here's my issue right now without disclosing too much information at this time. My hubby and I were married last year civilly and are coming up on our sealing date this year, we have a date set at the DC Temple in January. I'm so excited for the opportunity to not only be sealed eternally but also to receive my endowment then. I converted to the Church when I was 19 (am now 28) and didn't serve a mission, so this temple experience has been long awaited for and will be greatly cherished. I love this Church and know it is true!! It's truly changed my life but mostly, its changed my heart... when I'm reading my scriptures and praying daily, the heart truly does feel more open to the world, and more willing to walk as Christ would (still) be walking if He were on the earth today.

Ladies (and perhaps Gents too), I have so many questions still. Though I do not nor will ever doubt that this Church is so true in every sense, I am so confused sometimes. Especially when it comes to my relationship with my husband... we were married civilly last year mostly due to a struggle with addiction my husband had and also, a military relocation where if we were not wed, I could not go with him. That's a long story I really don't want to get into and which I am unfortunately, still healing from When we moved, I lost my counselor and at our new military location, there's no one. Besides the Lord of course and He does make up all of the difference (when I'm not being stubborn, of course). Getting to my concern though... my temple interviews to receive my recommend are coming up here very shortly and I need to know what MY responsibilities are relating to my husband ... that's confusing, I know. What I mean is that my husband has lied to the Bishop in our last area before and he received his temple recommend. Thankfully, the council he was under was RE-done and done properly by another bishop when we moved to a different area. I've also been in situations more recently when I felt like my husband wasn't telling ME the whole truth about certain things and there was a time, one night, where he expressed to me that he might "bend the truth a little" so he can go to the temple. I then told him, that the Bishop and the Stake President are representatives of Christ and with His help, will have the power of discernment to know if anything is amiss.

My question is... in the temple interview, is it just for ME or am I under a responsibility to tell the Bishop what my husband told me that night? I want my husband to be worthy to go to the temple this time and I want to do all that I can to help him to be. But I don't want to cross the line here and speak for him when I shouldn't. Right now, I am just intending on letting the Bishop be Bishop and letting the Stake President be the Stake President, both representing the Lord, and do the BEST that I can do and allow my husband to make his own choices, as he will.

But I don't know everything. I don't even know a little of everything. So if anyone takes the time to read this, and feels prompted to write (even just a little), I would be so grateful.

Thank you all for coming together like this... and I hope to be able to contribute more in days to come.

Best, K.

[slamjet]

I would hate for you do mess up any confidence your husband has in you. As addicts, the first thing that goes out the window is trust in others. Addicts are already a paranoid bunch. Don't make it worse by going to the bishop, at least not in the outset.

The leadership has some responsibility to ensure that only the worthy (not the perfect, but worthy) go to the temple. But the ultimate responsibility is on us individually. We may get our recommends, but if we knowingly go unworthily, then we, not our leaders, will be held responsible.

That being said, I would not go to the bishop but I would tell your husband, like what has been told to me, that you want a worthy priesthood holder to escort you to the temple for the first time. And see where he takes it from there. Some men need reminding. Some (like me) need to get a 4x4 across the skull to get our attention. You know your husband best and what it takes to motivate him in a certain direction. If he's thick skulled, then put your foot down and refuse to go unless and until he's 100% with his Bishop.

At least that's my advice.

[Avrham]

Hello I just think maybe the onus is on your husband however if its a major concern for you just openly discuss it with him before the interview . Besides it would be better for him to come forward and admit if he has any issues >I suppose its his responsibility if you tell the bishop then that negates him , but it goes back to open and direct(honest) discussion between you and him :):)

[Guest mormonmusic]

For me, it would depend on the gravity of the thing he's lying about. It it's simply a difference in interpretation of the level of the commitment required to answer certain questions in the TR interview, and you consider his interpretation lying, I wouldn't be concerned about it and wouldn't get involved. As an example, if he pays tithing on net and you think he's lying unless he pays it on gross, then I would leave it alone.

If it was an outright lie, and a black and white thing, then I would encourage your husband not to go in for the TR interview until he can answer the question honestly. I might even consider holding out on YOUR TR until he comes around.

One thing I wouldn't do is betray his confidence. Anything you do has to be up front, in my view.

You said there was a disciplinary council involved earlier, so I assume it's the black and white scenario above if it's related to that. In no way would I condone lying about the question, that's for sure.