Helping him obtain the Priesthood and Endowment

[OneBeanBiker]

My boyfriend and I have been dating a few months. Before we started dating, I knew he came with some special circumstances, but I was ok with it.

Here is a little background before I ask for advice: He joined the church a few years ago. Because he is in the military, a good chunk of his time since being baptized was overseas where he had no contact with any members nor did he get to attend any church services.

When he returned at the end of last summer, he was starting the divorce process and was in a bad place. His ex was who had introduced him to the church. He didn't attend church that much, but it was mainly because he felt awkward. His smoking habit was still there because he'd gotten back into it while deployed. Where was he to attend church? He technically wasn't single so he couldn't do a singles ward, and he felt a bit judged at the family ward, going through the divorce and all. So, he attended institute and spent time with some people there.

Well, he got moved to a different state (where is where he met me!) and since arriving this last April, he has been active in his singles ward. He's also stopped smoking again. He's talked with his bishop. He's received his Patriarchal Blessing and by the end of the year he hopes to receive the Melch. Priesthood and to receive his endowment in the temple. (He does have the Aaronic, btw.)

Here is where I would like your input. How can I help him achieve his goals and how can I make sure he is on track? I don't know all that is making him have to wait until the end of the year to make these covenants.

Is it normal protocol for less active members returning to activity to have to wait to receive the higher priesthood? Do they have to wait a certain amount of time after a divorce if they didn't have it before? Or could it possibly just be some other worthiness things?

Right now we are taking things slow and are not looking to get very serious. He knows that I will not get serious (thinking about marriage etc.) unless it is with someone who can RIGHT THEN take me to the temple. I know he has the potential someday to do these things, that's why I chose to date him. I just don't know what I'll do if come the end of the year and he isn't ordained or endowed.... we'll probably have to break up.

Anyhow, any advice you have? Thanks!

Edited March 10, 2012 by OneBeanBiker

[Spartan117]

Is it normal protocol for less active members returning to activity to have to wait to receive the higher priesthood? Do they have to wait a certain amount of time after a divorce if they didn't have it before? Or could it possibly just be some other worthiness things?

Receiving the priesthood is handled on a personal basis for everyone. There is no rule that says "if individual did "X" then they have to wait for "Y" ordinances."

I converted 18 months ago. Was ordained a priest within the first few weeks, limited use recommend for baptisms after that. Then I became kind of flaky. It had nothing to do with belief, I just had a hard time finding my place in my original ward. I didn't feel like I belonged. I was going to church once a month, maybe.

Then I moved, new ward, new bishop, bishop took a personal interest in getting me back to where I needed to be. After a few weeks I was attending church weekly, meeting with the missionaries often, then I started getting opportunities in the ward to participate, to belong. Just things like teaching EQ, giving my first sacrament meeting talk. I was ordained an elder right around my 6 month mark after maybe 2 months of mentoring from my new bishop. No waiting period, I just had to make the effort and be proactive about my progression in the church. Got my endowment right at 1 year, got my first calling as a gospel doctrine teacher the day after my endowment, temple marriage 2 months ago, haven't looked back.

I didn't have a divorce but I had a few things I had to work through with my new bishop and I did. My father-in-law is seventy and I've had exhaustive talks with him about church guidelines and rules, I love picking his brain and hearing his stories. I asked him specifically if a divorce would hold up someone progressing and he said generally, no. If there are issues like abuse then obviously yes. But a standard issue divorce with no issues or legal complications aren't a problem as far as church rules. But it's all up to the individual. He has to be really converted, he has to be proactive about his progression and ordinances.

Has he sat down with your bishop and told him his story, his past, and asked specifically about making a game plan for him? That's exactly what I did when I moved. I made an appointment to meet my new bishop, told him exactly where I was at, that I had a few things to work through. We set up a plan, set dates, and focused on one thing at a time. I met with my bishop often, I took the initiative. My bishop was just as motivated as I was so that helped. I would recommend your boyfriend do exactly the same thing, meet with your bishop (ask him if you can sit in on his visit if you want, let him know you support him and you're there for him) and lay it all out and make a plan on where he is going.

As far as your relationship and helping him along, be brutally honest and tell him that you see what he can become but if he doesn't make those things happen then the relationship will end. Hopefully he's really "converted" and will do the work. Sorry for rambling, hope some of this helps :)

[OneBeanBiker]

Receiving the priesthood is handled on a personal basis for everyone. There is no rule that says "if individual did "X" then they have to wait for "Y" ordinances."

Has he sat down with your bishop and told him his story, his past, and asked specifically about making a game plan for him? That's exactly what I did when I moved. I made an appointment to meet my new bishop, told him exactly where I was at, that I had a few things to work through. We set up a plan, set dates, and focused on one thing at a time. I met with my bishop often, I took the initiative. My bishop was just as motivated as I was so that helped. I would recommend your boyfriend do exactly the same thing, meet with your bishop (ask him if you can sit in on his visit if you want, let him know you support him and you're there for him) and lay it all out and make a plan on where he is going.

As far as your relationship and helping him along, be brutally honest and tell him that you see what he can become but if he doesn't make those things happen then the relationship will end. Hopefully he's really "converted" and will do the work. Sorry for rambling, hope some of this helps :)

Ok, that's good to know. I don't know much about the priesthood. I grew up with out it in my life.

He has sat down with his bishop and set goals and stuff. So he said if he stays on track, then he should make it there by the end of the year. I just don't know the specifics. I guess I don't feel it is my place since we're still kinda new.

And we've talked. He even said once that if he isn't doing what he is supposed to and taking too long, then it will probably be time for me to move on. But I ask him all the time how his scripture study is going and everything. It's just really hard to gauge it all and to know what is really my place...