Will I still have her? Ending Earthly Marriage vs. Temple Sealing

[horax]

I'm surprised that any state would allow an anullment after 5 months of marriage.

good luck with that.

[Arnolt]

My wife and I married about 5 months ago after going through a long distance relationship. We were sealed in the temple for time and eternity. Unfortunately due to a lot of third party factors that I will not take the time to mention, and due to her mental instability (she is either bipolar depressive or has extreme mood disorder) our marriage has not been able to be very fulfilling or even happy. I felt as though I was being dragged down and becoming mentally and emotionally ill. We recently separated and are now considering annulling the marriage, taking into consideration what would be best for both of us and our potential future children and the generations to come. (Please understand that I never intended it to end like this, and before coming to this conclusion I wanted to be able say to myself as it says in Jacob 5, "What more could I have done?")

I know that we still love each other very much and that we have always had desires to be happy together and have a family together... It is NOT the case that one of us has been unfaithful or broken a serious commandment.

My question is: If we annul our marriage can we still keep our temple sealing? I would like to think that we could be with each other in the next life and have a happy marriage there without all of the difficulties that have made it almost impossible here in this life. Would it be possible to marry and seal myself to someone else in this life even while my first wife is still alive? ... and then have both of them in the next life? And then expecting the double-cheeseburger in the next life? That's poison in my view.

Any input and answer is welcomed. Thanks.

Let me tell you this: Be with her and die with her, live with her and suffer with her, or leave her and let her leave you! And don't offend God to get both: Leaving her and find her again after you have been satisfied with your life. Man, what are you talking about! Put her in the fridge and see her later ...? ... And then have both of them like a double-cheeseburger in the next life?

Edited June 11, 2012 by Arnolt

[Arnolt]

My wife and I married about 5 months ago after going through a long distance relationship. We were sealed in the temple for time and eternity. Unfortunately due to a lot of third party factors that I will not take the time to mention, and due to her mental instability (she is either bipolar depressive or has extreme mood disorder) our marriage has not been able to be very fulfilling or even happy. I felt as though I was being dragged down and becoming mentally and emotionally ill. We recently separated and are now considering annulling the marriage, taking into consideration what would be best for both of us and our potential future children and the generations to come. (Please understand that I never intended it to end like this, and before coming to this conclusion I wanted to be able say to myself as it says in Jacob 5, "What more could I have done?")

I know that we still love each other very much and that we have always had desires to be happy together and have a family together... It is NOT the case that one of us has been unfaithful or broken a serious commandment.

My question is: If we annul our marriage can we still keep our temple sealing? I would like to think that we could be with each other in the next life and have a happy marriage there without all of the difficulties that have made it almost impossible here in this life. Would it be possible to marry and seal myself to someone else in this life even while my first wife is still alive? ... and then have both of them in the next life?

Any input and answer is welcomed. Thanks.

Let me tell you this: Be with her and die with her, live with her and suffer with her, or leave her and let her leave you! And don't offend God to get both: Leaving her and find her again after you have been satisfied with your life. Man, what are you talking about! Put her in the fridge and meet her later ...? That's poison! Sorry, but I couldn't even trust my eyes reading your lines...

[Arnolt]

That's kind of what I'm getting at. Perfect though our bodies may be, the same spirits will possess us.

This is what the Romans once told us: Mens sana in corpore sano. "Gesunder Geist in gesundem Körper". In a healthy body a healthy spirit is implemented. It was before the Christian belief. It was before God told us about all that. You look fine and you feel strong... and what about those ones who are blind or deaf or otherwise in a situation that doesn't come up to these expectations? ...

Edited June 11, 2012 by Arnolt

[Guest]

This is what the Romans once told us: in a healthy body a healthy spirit is implemented. It was before the Christian belief. It was before God told us about all that. You look fine and you feel strong... and what about those ones who are blind or deaf or otherwise in a situation that doesn't come up to these expectations? ...

What in the world are you talking about?

I was paraphrasing a scripture to make the point that she's not going to magically be a different person in the next life.

[Arnolt]

What in the world are you talking about?

I was paraphrasing a scripture to make the point that she's not going to magically be a different person in the next life.

May happyness come on secret winds and surround you forever in the ways of beauty. This is all I'm talking about... (smile)

Edited June 12, 2012 by Arnolt

[Arnolt]

What in the world are you talking about?

I was paraphrasing a scripture to make the point that she's not going to magically be a different person in the next life.

Sorry, Eowyn, yesterday I was a bit in a hurry and could not get the point. But now I understand better. You say you were paraphrasing a scripture. The only thing I could find in this context (about changing our spirit) was in Doctrine and Covenants 129:1. "Jegliche Intelligenz, die wir uns in diesem Leben zu eigen machen, wird mit uns in der Auferstehung hervorkommen"

For me this means that our spirit will change, as we have been existing from the time or status of pre-existence and our life on earth (where we learn and maybe develop our spirit). Then, later, we will exist in a reserrected status in a perfect body, but not as the same spirit we once were before (in the status of pre-existence). Well, this is my interpretation of what I could find about this in one of your holiest scriptures.

Well, to become a different person by learning, changing your opinions and views, by making experiences and receiving knowledge, does not automatically mean our spirit will completely change, but I can not see how it might be that our spirit would not change even a bit by all these experiences on earth. Well, I think that indirectly you have given me a very interesting question I should think about.

And sorry when my last posting was a bit baffling... I was in a hurry and didn't know what I could say, so it was that small poem.

Edited June 12, 2012 by Arnolt

[Guest]

Hopefully as we continue through this life, our spirits will grow and change for the better, yes. It's up to us to learn to control our habits, impulses, and appetites, though. The bad things won't just leave us when we die.. That's the point I was making, and I should have quoted the scripture in the first place. From Alma 34:

"33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

34 Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world."

I took a couple of years of German in high school and while I was pretty good at it then, my German at this point is totally nonfunctional. Quoting a scripture in German here doesn't help much :). But I looked up the reference, and if you look at the chapter heading it explains that verse to be saying just that there are both spirit bodies and resurrected bodies in Heaven. We have the same spirit for all of Eternity. The only thing that changes is what we will to change and what we change through our faith in Christ and repentance, and of course the times that we have our bodies (in this life, and later when our bodies are resurrected).

[garryw]

I would like to think that we could be with each other in the next life and have a happy marriage there without all of the difficulties

To me that sounds like asking someone else to raise your kids then give them back when they are potty trained and past the teenage years. You basically miss out on a key experience in mortality.

I have seen some wildly dysfunctional and disabled kids (10 years in primary) and the parents work through it, they don't hand them off and say geez they will be better kids in the next life I'll take them back then.

[Arnolt]

Have you tried everything to help this problem, meaning therapy, medications, etc.? I wouldn't make any moves without first exploring every possible avenue to improve her health and your relationship.

As for the other part of it, I don't know. My aunt and uncle were sealed in the temple. When their kids were young, she became very mean and hostile and he left her. He quickly remarried (to a nonmember), and then learned that she had a brain tumor that was altering her behavior. She died pretty quickly. Though he stayed inactive most of his life and married to his second wife, toward the end of his life he expressed hope that those sealing ties would still be in effect (he did reactivate in his last years). I don't know what doctrine there is, if any, but I like to think that they are together now.

Well, after I have read most of the statements here and have thought about the problem more than I did before, I must state there are words of wisdom coming from Eowyn's post. I know about that kind of mental disorder, and I have been involved in a similar situation with a girl friend. The problem is that the correct diagnosis (and this is oftenly very difficult in a case like that) should have been made before, and then perhaps further steps can be done (perhaps medication on a low level could help although it might be quite difficult to find the right one). There are specifications of mental disorders analogous WHO standard ICD 10, used here in Germany, and the described disorder might be a psychiatric disorder like a bipolar-affective disorder (F 31) or schizo-affective disorder (F 25) or something between. I also know there exists an American standard of mental disorders, called DSM IV, and the described disorder might be found there under a different name. On the other hand, it might be a mental disorder based on a psychological problem and psychological advise and therapy could help.

At the moment I don't know what to say more, but let me regret my first words in this case, as in the described situation both ones suffer, the person that suffers from that mental disorder and the partner in this relationship. So now I'm more interpreting the intent of the young man who opened this thread here as a desperated act and reach out for advise and help.

Edited June 13, 2012 by Arnolt