PhxLucy7 Posted February 18, 2013 Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 My husband is a non-member. He seems to enjoy many things about the church but other things, not so much. He does not like the idea of temple marriage. He has been raised by parents that are very spiritual and believe that no religion is the "true" religion. His parents have always taught him that God is Love and that love lasts forever. When missionaries were teaching him he asked about celestial marriage. They told him that we believe if you marry in the temple that you can be sealed to your family for eternity. He rejected this idea. He said, "There is no way anyone can tell me that my parents aren't going to be together forever unless they marry in the temple." He also believes that we will continue to stay married after death and asked me about my thoughts. I did not know how to go about answering these questions. I did tell him that I believe that even if people don't accept the gospel or marry in the temple in this life that they could have the option in the next life. He just refuses this concept and says it doesn't make sense. How can I help him understand celestial marriage or explain it in a way that makes sense? I hate that it offends him and I wish that he could see that things will work themselves out for the best... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 18, 2013 Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 Sounds like he's having trouble reconciling love and law and so he's putting the kibosh on law. You might want to read the following talk for some ideas: Love and Law - general-conference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhxLucy7 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 Dravin, I really appreciate this conference talk and it has definitely given me some insight. I definitely feel in my heart that this life is for our eternal progression and feel that our Heavenly Father has set these commandments for our benefit. It's just hard to voice my opinion to my husband, and in-laws. My mother in-law has said before on a facebook post that sin is fictitious and that God loves all his children no matter what. I have said that we all make mistakes and can learn from our mistakes and become better. She did not respond. It is hard for me to try to imagine talking about these things knowing how offended they can become. I wish I could know of a way to talk with a surety the things that I know in my heart to be true in a patient manner and without having impatience are argument come back my way. Is it worth it if it comes up again? Or should I allow them to talk and not join in on discussions? Any thoughts are helpful... Again I am so grateful that this talk, "Love and Law" has been brought to my attention... I definitely feel like it has helped me more fully understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 18, 2013 Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 (edited) Dravin, It is hard for me to try to imagine talking about these things knowing how offended they can become.While sometimes people have legitimate reasons to be offended by our beliefs, sometimes people just get offended because they disagree. If offense is unavoidable there probably isn't much point to trying to get into an involved discussion. So the big factor is if discussion is possible without offense.I wish I could know of a way to talk with a surety the things that I know in my heart to be true in a patient manner and without having impatience are argument come back my way.Patience is something that is in your court, argument though isn't something you have complete control over. It may seem a bit of a cop out answer, but I suggest you pray concerning how you can best share your knowledge with your husband. Is it worth it if it comes up again? Or should I allow them to talk and not join in on discussions? Any thoughts are helpful...It may be a bit unorthodox but ask your Husband. Ask him if he appreciates hearing your perspective or if it just applies unwanted pressure on him. One thing to consider is that sometimes argument stems not so much from what is being said but the situation. Edited February 19, 2013 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gopecon Posted February 19, 2013 Report Share Posted February 19, 2013 To add a bit to what Dravin said, there are some things that we believe that are not going to be understood or believed by someone without a basic foundation of faith in the Restoration. While there are references to many things in the Bible, many are not clear enough to "prove" our beliefs are correct. If people want to argue, they are going to argue. If they are sincere/respectful they will listen and be able to understand where we are coming from. If they really want to know, they need to get a testimony of the Book of Mormon and of Joseph Smith's calling as a Prophet of God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhxLucy7 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2013 Sometimes I want to defend what I believe in but I always get worried because I feel like it will cause unwanted drama. I'm not the arguing type, my mother-in-law is and she is always eager to talk about the way she believes to anyone around. They are very liberal and free spirited. I appreciate the love thy they have for anyone and everyone. But when it comes to opinions other than their own it can get kinda ugly :\ (mainly political stuff). As far as religion goes she feels that all people find God in their own way, that it should be personal, and that religion takes away from that. With my husband having this kind of upbringing, I'm not sure how he believes religion wise although he has told me that he is Christian. I'm not sure if he really knows what's in the bible or has heard anything about the savior prior to coming to the LDS church with me. He likes the idea of our savior, loving and kind. With all the teachings of the church he seems to like the importance of family. He just can not imagine that his family would be taken away without sealing or that marriage could end. Most Christians believe that marriage is not to be in heaven but we are all brothers in sisters in Christ. My husband doesn't believe that either. He thinks that we will be with whoever our "soul mate" is when we die. I explained that my belief is that things will work themselves out in the next life for people that don't have the chance here. I told him that if he didn't accept the gospel here then maybe in the next life he would and our sealing could be done for us. Still to him he thinks that's crazy and it's just my belief... Honestly hough I feel comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father would love us enough to have order and organization. If we have a loving Heavenly Father he would have us here for purpose and give us direction without force. That's why I know that this church is true. It makes more sense to me than other churches I've been to or studied. I wish that my husband could come to that understanding that I have been given but t doesn't come easy. I have hope that these things will work themselves out eventually :) Thank you for all your responses, I am greatly appreciative! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tubaloth Posted February 20, 2013 Report Share Posted February 20, 2013 Sounds like more you need to explain the Priesthood, but that goes a long with knowing there is a true church. Which sounds like is going to be hard for him to understand. That would come back to a Joseph Smith First Vision type of thing. Honestly sometimes people have to get a little confused for them to realize there is truth out there. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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