TootsieBlue

I think the problem was that the lady was not being discreet. She is from a more liberal European country where there isn't such a thing about body parts. I just think, if it makes you uncomfortable then look away! Yes we should be discreet, but on the odd occasion where a mother isn't, i she meant to be told 'don't do that here!' ??

sorry if this topic has been done to death, but I dont come on here very often. What is the norm and what is ok. I heard a High Priest today in his 30's moaning about a mother breastfeeding her baby in the church foyer. I had a lighthearted discussion with him and he said he also feels it inappropriate for mothers to breastfeed during sacrament, infact he was convinced that it would be in the Church handbook somewhere I'm a bit shocked as the man has a wife and children. So who's the norm here, me or him???

thanks for your help, thats great :)

Does anyone know if a Sister can hold one of these callings? ward pfr?? and sunday school President?

Hi, i'm also in the UK and understand your situation. I'm in Staffordshire and have been a member for 14 years. I hope you've had most if not all your questions answered but the main thing I wanted to pick up on is that you dont have to share testimony or anything like that to be a member of the church. Everything is at your own pace and only what you want to do. take care

My husband had a similar position, came out of law school with top grades and we thought he would walk into a job. He did so much applying and interviews sometimes got through to the second round but always ended up that someone else got the position Anyways, he went for a days voluntary work at a charity that was loosley based around law and from there is has networked into serveral law firms and now has many avenues he can explore. Hope that helped. as we say in the UK- Keep yer chin up :)

its not your advice or your opinion that anyone has a problem with soulsearcher. Its your delivery method

Thanks for your PM's guys x

ok Pam, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't get so riled up. I find this particular guy offensive to me as he has persistently taken shots at me on top of the advice he's given. I'm happy to receive advice and other peoples opinions as that is the whole point of this forum and particularly the advice board. I have asked this gentleman to be a bit nicer but he still continues to make assumptions about me and his posts are not nice and only mildly helpful. On of your moderators has even had a word with him and yet he continues to be mean about the advice he's given. Sorry for posting strongly. I'll just keep out of it xx

i really dont like your 'high and mighty' attitutude If you looked at all the post prior to your post, everyone was pointing me in the direction of sit quiet and pray and be there for him. So in conclusion to 'THIS' thread, I said, 'ok, i'll stick by the lad, do what I can and pray as a family and be here for him when he needs us.' I've already said we encourage him to spend time with us, at youth and come to church. I've also stated that the lines of communication with his Mum is open. What does that mean to you? that i'm 'not' speaking to her???? She came over yesterday after church to talk to us but I'm not even going to get there for you to pick holes in what was said or not said :/ Excuse me if I dont manage to put down every tiny bit of info on here for your expert perusal. Butt out and dont worry, I wont ask for you expert opinion on my life or the life of others again

hmmmm... you're not being very nice to me. And I mean that in the most jovial way of course. I, and my family have wrecked our heads over this for a long time and worked with this lad for years as he's lived in our street since he was 7. We've worked hard to keep communication open with his Mum also. I genuinely feel for him and dont know the best course of action. I say action, because i'm aware that inaction doesn't work. Will you get off your soap box now?

I see what you are saying and understand what you are suggesting. But I see no good coming of me talking to the authorities about it. If I did have the guts to do something about it, it would probably be best for me to speak directly to the Mum about the seriousness of the situation. We are in the UK and they will not get into alot of trouble for this. However if I were to get Child Protection or the Police involved it would definitely sever a friendship that is already strained.

thanks for all your advice. My lad is out playing basketball with this lad now and I'm keen for them to remain friends but a bit weary too. I could easily tell the police that the parents are supplying alcohol to their child but it would have the adverse effect as you say. I suppose our hands are tied and all we can do is pray and keep our friendship and our standards for him to see when and if he ever chooses it.

My boys befriended a bully that lives in our street. We've had years of problems with him, he is 14 now and our eldest is 12. He managed to make friends and this lad started coming to church with us. After a while he was baptised. His Mum and her partner support anything that this lad does so they were quite happy to go along with it all also the Mum said that she had seen so much improvement with him since he had been hanging round our children and going to church. she says his behaviour has done a complete 360. He does really like a girl who lives in our street who also goes to church and I'm sure this really helped him to make the decision to join. Since joining however it was holiday time and his Mum and Partner took him away for camping trip with their family. Their family are heavy drinkers and I'm wondering if this camping trip is where the problem that we now face started. Since after the holidays this lad doesn't come out to church much but we've persisted in fellowshipping him and my son has encouraged him to go to Young Mens everyweek. We have been worried for this lad as he stays out till midnight sometimes with his friends (he is only 14) His Mum wants to be his best friend so she allows it. Last week, he sneaked some alcohol out of his house and gave it to his friends. His Mum came round and spoke to my husband and he gave her some advice. About curfews and which friends he should spend time with and about supporting him to go to church as basically they just let him to do what he wants. Not that they dont love him, infact its that she loves him too much. Tonight there was a birthday party at another lads house in the street. His Mum is an alcoholic. This lad was seen in their garden drinking by our boys. I called his Mum and in a nice way said that the children think that her son may be drinking at the neighbours party. The mother said, Yes he is. She had spoken to his school after last weekends drinking problem and the school apparently said, 'well he is a teenager and teenagers will do that sort of thing, its normal and not to worry' ???? So when he told her he was going to a party tonight she actually bought the alcohol for him How can we help this lad? I'm just completely stumped. He's 14, he's hanging with the wrong crowd. He has complete control over his own life, he chooses his bedtime and now he chooses if he wants alcohol. I just find the situation ridiculous Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks Tootsie

thanks sweetiepie x

thanks guys, I dont think he would go to counselling, well maybe if i was about to walk out the door he would. He's an eccentric man and a bit flighty to be honest. Once he calms down he knows that we are better off together as I do. Our eldest is only 11 and our youngest is 3. Even if we couldn't stand the sight of each other we'd stay together for the sake of the kids. He would only leave if I kicked him out, then he goes away blameless and I would only leave if he was physically abusive. Though he can be mouthy and emotionally hurtful, he's more likely to hurt himself than lash out at anyone. I know this time is an accumulation of things, financial and kids and sleep, or lack thereof. Sometimes I wonder if I should take him up on his offer and just boot him out when he's being such an idiot and wont calm down. and he'll say. 'tell me to go and i'll go' well anyway, its all died down now and I know he loves me, I know he values our temple marriage and our children. We both know the grass is not greener. Ok, I'll stick through it all. thanks for you help :)

Hi, my husband and I have been married for 13 years, we are sealed in the temple and have 6 children. we are going through a hard time, as we do quite often. He's told me 'all I need to do is say the word and he's gone' is he just waiting on the excuse, and should I just tell him to go? 13 years of arguing and destruction of our relationship. Should I keep trying or should I just tell him to go? I cant talk to anyone close about this obviously.

Yes, i'm going to be children led on alot of things, for example - Eqyptians - that covers, history, georgraphy, science, art, literacy etc. We can go to Museums, take pictures, make books, do write ups, draw our own pictures. Do research for more info on the net and find more history. Plot places in Egypt of interest. Try to make our own Egyptian artefacts, ink and makeup etc. Construct a play etc.. so just from one thing that the children are interested in, I can do so much with it. Hopefully we'll never run out of things we are interested it. Dinosaurs, Great English Battles, Volcanos etc...

Thank you both, I really do appreciate your thoughts on this, especially as it seems to work so well for you. My concern is that I want to keep the children up to or past the national level for their maths and English. My OH went back to education late and qualfied as a Barrister last year. We really value education and know that many career choices depend on education certificates etc. There for if my children will have to take GCSE exams and Highers etc, I dont want them to struggle. I want them to excel. In their year at school they are doing long divsion and long multiplication, fractions etc. these aren't things that can consitently be used as part of shopping once or twice a week, but will require some pen and paper work. I dont want to neglect these things incase the children struggle with them later in life. It would be great to find a system that works straight from the beginning but it looks like it might be trial and error for a bit until we find a way that works for all of us. Its such a daunting thing at the moment. Thanks for all your help, Julie Ann

thats great, your routine doesn't sound far off what I was planning for us. Thanks so much for your help, I really appreciate it. I will be going in to talk to the childrens school on Monday, hoping not to offend them and at the same time ask them if it all goes wrong, would it be possibe to bring the children back. We'll see how it goes. Yes i've been on those sites you've listed, they are really helpful but its not the same as talking to other parents. I really admire the way you are doing it. I hope we will be sucessful. The children seem enthusiastic at this point and also feel they would be happier studying their own religion instead of doing Catholic studies. this is basically what I had in mind - Our eldest 3 boys wont go back to school after the Easter hols. Our 7 year old will stay in school til the end of the school year. Our 4 year old will start primary school in September for a year then will be home educated. Our 2 year old will be placed in a Kindergarten rather than Playgroup, where he will stay 2 years and will probably be home taught from then rather than going into Primary School. At the moment our 10 year old wants to do it but wants to go to High School in 2 years time. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Possibly look at private schools if our finances support it. I'm going to try and be meticulous at recording our progress. Get the children to help with the lesson planning. Projects of Science, History, Religious Studies, Geography, Economics. Implement Chores, Home cooking, Scripture Study and a Sport as part of their curriculum. Family trips once a fortnight if not once a week. Weekly swimmng. My husband is musically talented so that will be something we will also add in as well as Art. Eventually a Martial Art will be mandatory too as will 2 languages. My MIL is fluent in French and my Husband is fluent in Italian. and basically just work our wee butts off!

thanks, please dont run away. I have googled and got some great resources and support in organisations. What I really want is to speak to Parents like yourself that are doing it or have done it and how realistic my goals are really. I'm mostly concerned that i'm going into this with Rose coloured spectacles and i may must some real mistakes with the children and they will struggle as a result. Also concerning my 4 year old daughter who is due to start school in September, I was planning on letting her go for a year and then home schooling her also but i'm not sure if thats the best idea or not. How did your children handle not being in school. If they've never attended, do they feel they have missed out. Do they ask about it, are they jealous of their friends? I'd appreciate any of your opinions. Thanks for replying in the first place. Tootsie

see someone moved my thread way down here to parenting and now i've got noone posting on the thread. no help!

I feel my childrens time in school is not used to the full advantage. I think there is a bigger percentage in the US of Home Schooling and just wondered if there were any LDS members that could give me some advice. I have 6 children, eldest is 10 and youngest is 2. We have them at a Catholic School in England. Unfortunately the school has fell short of National targets this year and is in Special Measures, which gives the school extra support for the next 2 years but I still feel really let down. I think their teaching staff do a bad job and most of the childrens day is taken up with play and watching videos. I'd rather they were home having half day lessons with me if thats all they are going to get at school. The rest of the time they can be playing with each other or helping with house chores or visiting Museums, doing service, Scripture study. All of these things we find difficult to find time for due to them being at school for 7 and a half hours per day and it dont feel they are having 7 and a half hours of education every day. I feel there is constant bullying around. Teaching staff resort to negative language and shouting. Surely 1 adult and 6 children is better than 2 adults and 30 children. I'd love some help and advice on this. Many thanks Tootsie.

thanks everyone, your help is really appreciated.

I cant remember right now what gave me that impression. I'll have to go back and check. thanks for helping Pam