Islander
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Posts posted by Islander
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I tend to agree with checker (most of it) above. I said it before; for guys attraction is hardwired in the brain. It is a matter of personal choice and the like but the response to the female physique is basic. It is a sad reality but guys NEED to feel enticed physically in order to approach. Men do not build intimacy the same way women do. The "Beauty and the Beast" does not work in reverse, usually.
We can argue genetics and social developmental history but it will take us nowhere. So, we ALL need to look our very best to maximize our chances to find and keep our future and current companions. For the rest; it is what it is.
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I go to a fundamentalist church (not by choice). At my church it is believed that only christians go to heaven (they do not include mormons as christians, I however do). My belief is that we will be judged on what we did. The gospels seem to support this belief (the exception being John). So basically I believe that the particular religion doesn't matter as long as you live a moral life and do your best to be a good person.
By the way, have any of you visited the crosswalk forums? If not I encourageyou to do so, there are a lot of misconceptions about LDS that I think need to be cleared up.
The essential truths of the Gospel are available to every one to seek and to discern. You must rely on the truths as revealed to you by the Spirit rather than on what you are being "told" to believe.
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It would seem that I take to the internet for the supposed anonymity when I seek a more objective view on things that mess with my head.
But let us get to the point.
I currently attend one of the US Service Academies – which one it is I shall not say – and the dating scene there is non-existent for the predominantly male members of our ward. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that there is only one single eligible female who attends our ward regularly, compared to the fifty or so male cadets. Naturally, our isolation from social circles makes dating extremely difficult. However, what worries me is the way this isolation has affected my ability to make friendships with women in any circumstance. Those familiar with Academy policies also know that federal law prevents us from marrying prior to graduation, so anyone who is not a senior is often never even considered.
Ever since entering the academy in 2003, and having served a mission in the interim, I can safely say that it has been five years since I interacted regularly with women my age in any kind of social setting. Now that I am at home on some leave time, I find that attending the local YSA ward is awkward in the extreme, and in five weeks I have not dared speak to anyone female in any capacity. Despite developing a good measure of confidence in almost every other aspect of my life, I seem to have lost any and all confidence I may have once had with women.
I know what the Brethren say about marriage; I hear the counsel (and feel the pressure) of local leaders, friends and even my parents; I just cannot bring myself to break the insular social bubble that the military seems to have fused around my social life.
Any thoughts?
I concur with some of the posts above. Concentrate in your academics and then ease yourself into a more normal life after you graduate and receive your assignment. You can not marry now so dating will increase your stress, no doubt and add aditional pressure to an already crowded schedule. You will be OK.
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I know very little about the LDS Church. Do you believe that non-mormons go to hell?
Another very interesting topic. We must always remember that when it comes to interpreting what the OT and NT say we MUST consider translation as a significant factor. The word HELL was used for the Hebrew word SHEOL and the Greek words HADES, GEENNA and TARTAROO in the KJV. The problem arises when different translations translate the same word in different ways.
For practical purposes we have to make two distinctions. One word translated "hell" commonly refers to the lake of fire and brimstone. That is the spa designed for the devil and his minions, those who denied the Christ, the Holy Ghost and the testimony of the martyrs and the apostles.
The other translation that appears frequently is the one "grave." Now this appears to be figurative speech. Or a place of enclosure, prison, a place from where there is no escape or further hope of life/existence. This is what we equate to be "separate from God" after the resurrection. In darkness and away from His light and presence, spiritual death.
In both contexts; ANYONE can end up there. It is a personal failure and a willful act to end up in hell, whatever the description of it is.
I hope it helps.
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Friends, I would suggest that we have debated the subject long and hard with no changes in position. We should just leave it at that. This is human existential philosophy at ts best. Justification HAS to be achieved in order to validate anything that runs counter-culture.
By the way, those were the words of the G&L activists back in the 60's "Lifestyle" is a self-designation, just like "alternative." They all morphed into these pseudo theories about genetic predisposition. In fact, there is more evidence that alcoholics do engender children with the same genetic load and prone to be addicts than in homosexual behavior.
Again, I think we should just shift gears.
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Hello and welcome to this site. :)
I got to get me one of those (Avatars)!!! That was just funny!!!
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I have my own non-scientific theories about "hot people" and that goes for males and females.
In my limited but certainly fully aware experience, very good looking people (those commonly and erroneously called "hot") make very poor mates and even less statistically reliable companions over a lifespan.
I hope to avoid hurting anyone's sensibilities here, but these are folks with a super inflated and adulterated sense of self. They tend to be perfectionists, exacting and demanding, self-centered, self-serving and unrealistic. They see outer "beauty" as an asset to be leveraged for social and economic advancement. In other words, very high maintenance people.
Just for the sake of some basic empirical analysis, my wife and I sat down not long ago and looked at our our female friends and family and rated them on a 1-10 scale. We were looking at plastic surgery, vanity, self perception (theirs) and our assessment of the quality of their lives. The top five (lookers, sort of) had silicon enhancements, were engaged in a frantic struggle to stop time and their lives were a study in misery. The only one guy (we considered) no longer comes to our home and family gatherings on account of his promiscuity. His decision, by the way.
So, there you have it. "Beauty" is subjective, rather vague, overrated, expensive to maintain and impossible to hold on to. And that is our family assessment, in general. Of course, that does not preclude some beautiful people inside and out from being truly the salt of the earth. We just think they are few and far between.
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People in our country have very little sense of historicity. That will be the downfall of many countries as it was at the time of Rome. Law, order, tradition, education and the everyday way of life is eroded because increasing number of people do not have those values not do they care to develop such traditions. They want to preserve and spread their own failed social values and cultural traditions destroying the social fabric from within.
I live about 2 hour from Los Angeles. I went to USC 15 years ago and the city is unrecognizable. There are portions of LA that you can not tell you are in the US. As this enclaves continue to grow, city ordinances disappear, law enforcement is reduced to a state of siege; them (the inhabitants) against us (the police). I was born in a foreign country and can sincerely tell you that it is a slippery slope and we are already sliding down hill.
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The NT if full of references to "bearing witness" of the Savior and the Gospel.
I too become a little restless when people use the F&T meeting for preaching or story telling. I try to quiet myself by thinking that "they need" the moment and that their intentions are good. It is the format that is not appropriate.
Usually I draw from a recent experience that provided opportunity to bear witness or served as a witness to me of the truthfulness of the Gospel. I try to keep it simple and seek inspiration to actually get up and share. If I do not feel particularly inspired that day I just stay put.
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Friends, history is not destiny. There were good and bad people in both parties throughout history. Not one party had a monopoly on fairness and justice. Politicians (most) are a self-serving breed interested in survival at the polls. So, whatever works to their advantage and contributes to their political capital account that they will use and do.
It is quite difficult to stake a position, make your philosophical base known and be a successful politician. You will be a 1 term "politico" which is not worthy given how much money it takes to get elected. Revisionism is a fun sport but it does not have great intellectual value looking forward, IMO. The parties of the 1800's are no longer in existence. Mitt, contrary to his better judgment and in clear incongruence with the teachings of the church, supported the first same sex marriage initiative in the nation!!! So, it goes to show that what drives the political class is not necessarily principles all the time.
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I no longer want to be friends with a former roommate, but I will be seeing her at church.
Is it possible to truly forgive someone, but not be their friend?
Can it be called forgiveness if the only thing you feel comfortable saying to them is "hello"?
My roommate can be charming and personable, but I think it'll be better for me not to interact with her in any way....
This is a very interesting theme. I think most of us have a very difficult time dealing with strong emotions since in our culture there is no social training to develop such skills. Candor, transparency and truth sharing are not traits people REALLY appreciate or value much.
Anger is not an emotion but rather a reaction. It is quite useful because it generates a lot of energy which we often need to deal with very painful situations. That is the real emotion; pain. Your friend did something that caused you pain. So, now you are hurt but anger works better because otherwise you would cry and wonder why she betrayed your trust and confidence in such a way. It would visibly break your heart. That may not work for you and the image you want to project. But, if you are to be true to your self you must recognized you are hurt by your friend's actions.
That said, you may want to confide in somebody, really vent, cry a little (or a lot, whatever the case may be) and get the whole affair off your chest. Now, if your friend is not "evil" (purposefully and intentionally caused you pain) which likely she is not; then she falls in the stupid-prone category. What she did may have been selfish, careless, stupid, denoting her immaturity and tendency to be self-centered and emotionally tone deaf. Grandma just to say: "People are not stupid on purpose. On that moment, they just don't know any better."
You may try a script like this in your mind: "You hurt me and I do not understand why. It may take me a while to heal but I will be OK. I want to believe that you did not hurt me intentionally. It may take even longer for you to realize what you have done. But I have no desire to hurt you back. Although my heart hurts I forgive yo."
This is what I, more or less, do when my wife does something that stirs those quasi-homicidal-Hitchcock thoughts. I remember all that she does/did for me and the way she loves me. In your case your past friendship must have been worth something. Start there. Either way, it is going to take some time but you have to try. Forgiveness must be TRUE. The test? When you can embrace her with love rather than choke her. But you have to desire it. Time alone will do very little for you without actively seeking to forgive her.
I hope it helps.
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If people don't realize their conditioning, they won't fight against it.
If they don't care, they won't either.
C'est la vie.
Indeed, it is a sad reality. We can not escape our awareness until someone points to the door. And even then some hesitate. Even when they want to escape they fear the unknown, they are uncomfortable with the proposed change.
A (male) friend who lost his wife to a car crash 2 years ago posted a personal on an LDS singles site early in the year. He said about 12 women responded and 10 of them asked him for a picture!!! Never mind that he has a graduate degree, is a worthy priesthood holder, A RM, an entrepreneur and 29 yrs old. The "looks" were more important. "So they should keep looking..... and waiting", my friend said.
It works both ways, I was just using this particular case as an example. It is true that, primarily, men are visually enticed. I think it is a silly and misguided fantasy but there you have it. As they get older reality sets in and they become less exigent. The search for more attributes than just external, temporary/makeup enhanced traits. But still, something has to catch their eyes. That response is hardwired into the brain.
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Could be.
Would that make a difference in my choice of desserts?
Of course, my dear. Girls; chocolate, fudge is ideal, brownies and vanilla icecream second best. For guys; fruit preserves and cheese top and cheese cake or honey cakes will work well.
I have stats on that...hehehehe:)
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Mmmmm. Check this. You go and buy a pizza and slice it in ever smaller and smaller pieces. You can split those pieces to a number that is mathematically infinite but the pizza itself is finite. It is rather a collection of pieces where the sum of it is much larger than the pieces themselves.
The problem is that we are tri-dimensional beings and try to "see" everything in those terms. Imagine that God started so long ago that you would have no way to express time in a tri-dimensional equation of when that happened. But it did. The same for the future. Sorry...ran out of verbal visual aids.
As far as our potential for exaltation, children have the DNA of their parents and the same genetic attributes and thus potential as the parents. Again, you may be looking thru the "finite" lenses, but there is nothing to prevent you from reaching a sphere like you Father in Heaven. It may take an Ion but by then He will be still several Ions ahead of you, again. We should not be too concerned about it as we speak. It would be like my 4 year old trying to decide or even imagine what would be her doctoral dissertation theme 30 years from now....sort of
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You are right, whether we follow the Day of Mithra or the Jewish day, our celebration is the same. When the Emperor gave us the Day of Mithra instead of the Jewish day back in 321 AD, it really did help the work of the Empire get done. Why change?
I have friends that are 7th DA and we have agreed to disagree on the subject a long time ago. They can read the NT as good as I can, and, they can also see that in Acts 20:7 and 1 Cor 1,2 that it points to the fact that although the Apostles were Jews, the nascent Christian church was made of gentile converts. So the Apostles observed the Sabbath and met with the disciples on the first day of the week; our modern Sunday to preach the Gospel. But they have to follow their own Adventist tradition.
Beyond that, the Jewish calendar has nothing to do with ours. They have kept a day in seven since the Exodus. The Romans "accommodated" the Jewish traditions into their calendar in order to avoid political strife.
We should therefore heed to the admonition of the Savior and follow the "spirit of the Sabbath" rather than the letter of it. :)
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apologies in advance...I'm kind of talking to two people at once here.
Funny, people said that about Jimmy Carter, too. Still waiting.
Unfortunately for you, Bush's legacy is going to be put in the history books as, "Well, he wasn't Gore, and he wasn't Kerry." When that's the best you can say about the guy, you really don't have much going for you. (by the way, Skip, lay off all the secret combination stuff. Your rantings make it pretty hard to take you seriously)
With all due respect, I'll have to disagree with you on some things. But don't worry, I'm also going to disagree with Skip on a lot of things. You both seem to be fairly fanatical in your opinions.
You are correct when you say that we have not had as many attacks on American soil thanks to our troops being in Iraq and Afghanistan. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. If you move the war onto the enemy's home court, of course there will be less action on your own--that result is arithmetical. Now please note that I never said I was opposed to being in this war, but opposed to how it is being managed. If we're going to sit over there in a mismanaged, politically minded war, then our troops really aren't doing anything than serving as decoys to satisfy our need for safety. Now, I don't know about you, but I have a big problem with the idea of our troops routinely getting killed simply so that you and I won't. However, if they want to go in and fight this like a war, crush the enemy, and seize all their assets, and accept the inevitability of civilian casualties (you know, like you're supposed to do in war), then I'm all for it. So, I see two solutions to this problem that would make me happy:
1) Realize that under current management we're not going to succeed over there and pull out our troops, thereby letting the place devolve into mayhem.
2) Decide to fight this like a war, and go in and win.
Either solution works for me, so I really don't care which gets implemented...but the status quo simply won't do.
Next, yes, it would be nice if people realized that a lot of the terrorism stuff is something that could have been handled (and should have) during the Clinton administration. They dropped the ball. But the fact that Clinton made that really bad decision doesn't change the fact that the whole thing has been poorly managed under the current administration.
With equal respect, I disagree with your position. Sometimes, in order to preserve your way of life, in order to ensure that current or future enemies know where you stand and to what extent you are willing to go to defend yourself, your country and your love ones; someone has to die. In order for those that fear to know they can count on you, somebody has to die. There will be blood and that is the price to pay for freedom and for ones ideals and principles. At some point you have to be willing to sacrifice for what you hold to be true otherwise is empty rhetorical pomp.
Men write history but it is re-written every so often. G.W. Bush may or may not be the best president. But one thing is clear, you WILL NEVER know what it is to make a decision in those circumstances. ALL of Europe thought they could negotiate with Hitler and avoid the war. One after one most of Europe fell without really much of a struggle. They allowed evil to germinate and flourish unopposed while claiming to preserve peace. Check out your history. America resisted for 4 years to enter the war. If it wasn't for those who died to contain evil the world you live in would be a very different world. Monday morning "quarterbacking" from your living room is always interesting. But, do not forget, you were not there.
You already made up your mind in regards to the current state of affairs so I think my post may not be very relevant to you. I just thought I put something out there to consider for those that are not sure what to think with so many loud voices.
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Having come through fellowship with those who seek a literal reading of the Bible, I can support everyone's comments.
Language and communication are such slippery things. What would appear to one person as the simplest and clearest of sentences is likely to be read completely differently by someone else. And that's just when we're on LDS.net!
I have a sneeking suspicion that this is why we need the Holy Spirit to lend a hand when reading Scripture, as well as earnest study, and a willingness to seek out wise teaching.
I second that view as well. We have the testimonies of the prophets and the apostles in regards tot he revealed word of God. We are then encouraged to find out for ourselves thru the Spirit and gain our own testimony of what God is revealing..
Before the Rabis, the prophets had no question in their minds about what the scriptures said. It is when the prophets are silent after the return from the Babylonian exile that even in Israel they begin to seek the help of angels, and recite incantations as in the midrashim.
I tend to disagree with Moksha above in one point. It was never the intent of God for his people to approach Him in "scientific" or academic way. That was never the case before de advent of the Rabinical schools of Judaism. It was precisely this approach that gave raise to the pharisaic and legalistic view of God. It elevated the Torah and the study of it to the point of worshiping the law instead fo the Law Giver. The Rabinic hedge added hundreds of commandments to the law of Moses.
Except Isaiah, who was a pretty well educated man and related to royalty by marriage, all other prophets were simple folk, including his father. I am not negating that we should not pursue inquiry of the physical world as a way to understand creation and the history of world and God. But it (academic or scientific models) should not be the the primary frame of reference thru which we hope to understand the word of God. I hope you understand my view point.
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Elphaba
One of the fundamental problems of political analysis deals with the almost impossibility of being neutral or unbiased one way or the other. Once we make up our mind, the other side has no chance.
Just out of curiosity, what would have been your response after 9/11 and the sudden, unprovoked death of 3000 of our citizens?
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Bush and Cheney are Gadiantons....
LOL...I understand your feelings but I think you are slightly exaggerating. I think issues are a lot more complicated than that. But, again, politics was never my strong suit.
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Frankly...From where I'm sitting...It's time to lock this thread. It's been hijacked and has become a vehicle for bitter people to spend their time....
Amen to that!!!
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I thought we were done with this. It is painfully obvious where the parties stand philosophically. Nobody is going to give up an inch. So, we should move on to something else where there might be, perhaps, if we are lucky and providence has its way, an original thought/idea!!!
Otherwise, Moderator, Moderator!!!!!.......LOL.....
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People watch CNN for 15 min a day and they feel qualified to bid for Condie Rice's job. I have always believed that in our country we have no sense of historicity and a very short span when it comes to social memory.
We are safe (at least we feel that way), we are affluent, idealistic entropic and distant from the world at large, ignorant of very recent historical facts and naive. It makes for a very dangerous cocktail.
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That is just awesome AliciaB!!!
I am very happy for you. Do not despair, we were the only members in our family and little by little some of our relatives have been converted. Not by pounding them over the head with the doctrine but by the example that we set before them. Just love your family.
I am excited and beside myself. I have been a member for about 12 years now and it was a life changing experience. I wish I could be there with you sister but I will have to be content with the news.
Congrats!!
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Anthesian - That is a compelling story. I am grateful that you sought the Spirit and it led you back into the fold. Some never do. I pray that you will continue to seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost and fight the prideful spirit that robbed you of your testimony. Knowledge and wisdom can become gods unto themselves. It is a trap with a steal door.
Reading your post I was reminded of Oliver Cowdery as he left the church and sought to return later. I sincerely hope you can regain your strength in the Lord and seek to do his work after all you have been thru.
Welcome back