I left the LDS church about 4 years ago. My church history, doctrine, and practice research was consuming quite a bit of my time. I was researching female ordination to the priesthood prior to Joseph Smith's death, the vicious lie that JS had been reprimanded for ordaining blacks to the priesthood, concepts of God the Mother, etc. Amidst all this, I started to feel that the LDS Church had lost its identity after the death of the Prophet. Priesthood authority had been consolidated to male authoritarianism and blacks, who had rightfully been ordained, had their priesthood suspended. The latter was an even bigger issue especially where Official Declaration II is concerned. It was inconsistent.
I did research on Brigham Young's "Adam-God" false doctrine. The concepts behind it were wrong and incongruent with what we know from the temple. Elder McConkie labeled it as one of the Seven Deadly Heresies.
I started to write and teach historical lessons on church history without the whitewash. I started to portray history as it actually happened and not just all the 'faith promoting' information that we are taught in church or institute classes. No offense to the brethren, but Church History in the Fullness of Times is a horrible textbook.
Finally, something that I wrote came to the attention of my bishop and stake president. In a controversial interview with the SP, I was asked to stop teaching (in his mind advocating) and writing about the fullness of church history. He was kind enough to remind me that Elder Packer had labeled people like me were threats to the church (see Elder Packer's 3 Great Threats to the Church). We so-called 'intellectuals and scholars' are considered threatening because we choose to acknowledge the good and the bad of our latter-day saint heritage.
With this request, I was upset. Not necessarily offended. I chose not to be offended (reference Elder Bednar's "Be Not Offended") since no one can offend me. I simple left the office and withing two days, I had my resignation of membership submitted to Member Records in Salt Lake. The kindly honored my request after the 2nd try. It came down to having to get a lawyer involved. I wasn't about to allow myself to be excommunicated.
Eventually, I came in contact with the Community of Christ (RLDS). They offered fellowship and purpose. The serenity of being in the Community of Christ lasted 3 years. I recognized that they were no longer a restoration church but were more of a cross between Unitarian Universalism and Protestantism. IMO, not a very good mix. They left so many aspects to faith undefined. It was chaos with a smile painted on its face. Not a good story for me.
Looking back at where I was before joining the Community of Christ, there was so much pride involved in my learning and willingness to share. Not such a good mix either. I realized that I needed to lay down my pride (and still do my Restoration Studies), give up my membership in the Community of Christ, and start focusing more on what mattered to me. Christ and His Atonement. When doing my scripture study one night, I received an impression to 'Go Home'. And so I did. It took 8 months to get me from that rock bottom to where I am today. It took 4 years to realize that I was where I belonged but I had lost focus of who I'm supposed to be.
Dwayne
PS- Hey Mods, if this post would be better put in another area...Please move it. I just wanted to respond to the requests from others.
