tntraveler

Temple worker was mistaken. Recommend is fine. Still no calling yet but that is OK. I'm beginning to find a life again in general and feeling pretty good about a few other things that were stessing me, including my bishop. I just needed to give him and the situation time. Youngster may know what he is doing after all.

and if it makes you feel any better, I hope not worse, but I am just now coming back from struggling myself. not with my testimony, but with whether I even wanted to bother anymore or not even when I knew the church was true. I stuck it out and things are really looking up for me the last couple of weeks. It doesn't matter your age, your problem, (part of the plan is struggling through problems my friend) but it just seems that anybody you talk to that fell, or strayed, always feels better when they come back. And if there is more that you are not comfortable sharing here, remeber, repentence is available to all as well, regardless of age.

I so relate. Before we moved out east we lived in a small community, 800 people, on the Southern UT/NV border that was heaven on earth and about 90% active LDS. I had 6 kids at home still then. We suddenly moved out East and found ourselves in a Branch with very few members and youth which to our surprise were not what we were used to as "traditional" LDS. My daughters struggled desperately. They hung in there as long as they could but as soon as they turned 18 and were able to, they all moved back to Southern Utah within an hour of where we had lived. It is sad to say, but they were in that branch for over a year and neither of them left a friend behind when they left. I'm not lying blame either direction, just stating facts. I guess my point is, you are in the same situation, and for whatever resons only you know you have gone inactive instead of toughing it out. Not judging. One of my daughters is as Molly Mormon as they come and at the end I was having to almost force her to still attend she was so depressed. Long story short, you are almost 18 too and will be able to make the right decision for your self. My suggestion would be, get where you are comfortable, commit to trying activity for at least a month, real activity, and see if you still feel the same way.

I guess I have to answer you in part with a question of my own. Do you believe your questions can be answered by the promptings of the Holy Ghost? You will find as you discuss religion with Baptists, or at least the ones I share friendships with, our belief in personal revelation throught the Holy Ghost is one of the issues they have with our church. They believe the written word of the bible is the only revelation. Be careful in allowing people to use one verse out of context arguments against you or the church. Also, what specifically are some of your concerns. I read the other post about the cross. I must say, I disagree with you, but, something that minor is not something to make a church choice over. Also, I am kind of curious why are the majority of your friends non LDS. All of my son's friends are non members because I drug him East for my job. He is the only deacon in our ward here. Are you active in your ward? If so, is there some issue you are facing making it diffcult for you to associate with LDS youth?

Brendan, I am an old man by your standards, but I a have children your age, am a convert, and a man who is going through a dicorce of a temple marriage so truuuust me, I have sat on that fence you are on more than once and I have fallen back to the right side both times. If you have questions ask away because there are plenty of people here who have struggled with the same issues you are, whatever they are, and you have the benefit of being able to ask people who do not know you personally here. No suger coating. Fire away.

As I said, I hae only had one opportunity to talk to my bishop and he hurried me out the door. Actually, my problem may be taking care of itself. She was not in church yesterday or last week and did not take our son last time she said she was going to. I'm thinking she has a new distraction and that may cure a portion of my problems. Especially at church. If she not there playing games I can be more myself and in doing so things will probably come around. Still awkward but I can focus on church at church instead of being bitter.

This is why I am confused. I was told by a temple worker that if you go through a divorce you cannot have a recommend for a year. I have been in this ward three months now and have talked about getting a calling and been asked what callings I've had etc. but then have not received a call. Like I said once before, the bishop called me into the office one time, never really asked me what the details were but said, "well she says nothing physical happened," pushed me out the door for his next appointment and that is the last formal contact I have had with anyone. To his defense, this is a new bishop and I think I have kids older than him LOL. I think that is why I am so confused at it all is I just feel abandonded and to be honest, I am so angry at her for jumping back in like she did after almost two years of making it impossible for us to live as a normal lds family. when she moved out she was talking to me about when she gets married again, and how excited she was to be getting her own place again and now that the grass is bitter brown on that side of the fence... Also, if I thought she was even remotely sincere about it all I might feel different but having watched the head games for so long and seeing them without the rose colored glasses now I know it is not.

Yup, father and son campout here too

If I was divorced I could probably deal better. It's this limbo land that is killing me. I'm not single, I'm not married, I'm leper man. It doesn't help that the someday to be ex, that hasn't joined us in church or almost anywhere else for the last year and a half (I guess we know why really now) suddenly decided she needed to come back to church, and of course, moved into my ward, still walks in and takes sacrament every week, and just tells everybody she doesn't understand why I'm making such a big deal out of her simply having a friend that nothing happened with. Well, that part is not true and I know it. Believe me, I know. There is so much stuff not for this public forum but let's just say had this simply been a physical tryst I could have healed and moved on. There was so much more. Back to the church point of all this. Since she bold faces lies about the situation she is allowed to carry on in church as if nothing happened. When I talk to the bishop about me, not her, the position seems to be they are concerned about my son and want to be sure he gets to church etc. but hey buddy, you are pretty much on your own. I can't get a calling, appearantly can't use my recommend for a year, and just do not understand the reaction. I simply tried to carry on in a nearly impossible situation and catch my wife with another man and I'm punished for it. More to this I guess. we moved into this ward the same week I found out about the "friend" I travel for my job and was going back and forth on weekends taking care of my father until I got all that settled so she was going to the new ward laying the ground work while I was gone. Remember, this is a woman who hadn't been to church in months, who had a literal fit everytime we tried to do family prayer, refused to drive kids to activites if I was not home to do it, had alcohol hidden in the house, on and on. I guess my point to all this is shouldn't the church have some policy on dealing with seperated families? I hold a recommend, she does not, they can interview any one of the now adult children that can tell them the going ons, (her own family told me they couldn't believe I put up with her this long), our son is living with me, and yet she can just continue to come to the same ward, deny everything, flaunt it in front of me and carry on like this. And the bishop seems to be choosing the bury your head in the sand approach to it all. Seems to me one or the other of us should be asked to go to a differnet ward or something. I am just really confused. Yup, another rant. There is a lot more to my life really, thinking about all this just seems to consume a lot of it right now.

Would have been way more fun if I had wanted it and way easier if the boyfriend would have kept her after they got caught. LOL We would both be happier now. Thanks to everyone for the hellos. Don't know how much I will be on here but is nice to find an LDS site where I might actually "belong" for a change.

I have the exact same issue but I have taken a completely different approach to it than defending him or it. Joseph was man, he was not a perfect man. I don't care to defend him or his actions. I know the spirit testifies to me the of the Holy Bible and the Book of Mormon are true. I know Joseph Smith restored this full gospel to the earth and re established the true church. For this I am grateful. What he did on the weekend so to speak is not my concern.

Hi there: I followed a link from a yahoo search here and just joined on a whim. I am the most dreaded kind of mormon there is; one going through a divorce. Nobody knows what to say to you. You feel as if everybody looks at you. Everybody meant to come by and check on you but somehow never made it. They're all worried you are going to do something wrong and break your covenents but your not allowed to socialize with the singles until the ink dries and you don't fit in with the "normal" poeple (see above) so you have to turn to those outside the church to feel accepted; then they are really concerned you are going to do something bad (I haven't by the way, but it is entertaing to see everybody worry about it) and so then one day when your son is gone to camp and your feling exceptionally lonely and bored you search LDS divorce on the internet and it takes you to a link that takes you here and you join becasue maybe here you can actually talk to church members that don't think divorce equals lepresy instead of just looking like is all you can do in good concious on the singles sites, and then you get on a soap box inyour introduction becasue, well, it just makes you feel better. Did I miss anything:D