[Praying in public]

I firmly believe that everyone has the right to choose what is right for them and their family.

That being said I want to share an experience. Before I became a member I distincly remember being in a restaurant and seeing a large family make a big deal out of saying a prayer. They joined hands and bowed their heads and it seemed like they went on forever. It actually kind of upset me, because when they were done, they all looked around to see who had seen them, and I got the feeling that they felt they were better than the rest of us because of what they had just done. Now, of course, I have a slightly different perspective, but whenever I am in a restaurant I am confronted with this question. I don't want to be like that family, but I do want to give thanks and bless my food.

My second problem is that my boyfriend is a non member, so I don't really feel like he want's to be included in it, so what I have become accustomed to doing is as soon as the server puts the food on the table, I bow my head close my eyes, and as I get the napkin out and on my lap I say a quick, silent prayer, and bless both my and my boyfriend's food (and he never even knows!!! hee hee hee!). It works for me.

=)

[Is it OK to chew gum during fasting?]

Okay, I have an idea. If we are worried about getting too much enjoyment out of the flavor of chewing gum during the fast, then chew a piece of gum all day the day before the fast. The flavor should be totally gone, and then you can save it for the next day!!! =)

All joking aside, I really think that each and every person has to decide for themselves what is appropriate for them. I know that with all my medical problems there are things that I just can't do, and I have to draw lines and stick to them for my health, even tho fellow (good intentioned) church members try to get me to go above and beyond my limits. It is between me and Heavenly Father. I know that some of my sisters have given me funny looks because they don't understand that my blood sugar is dropping and I need to leave relief society NOW. I know that some people think my faith is not as strong because of little things like this, so I hope that everyone will realize that you cannot judge your neighbor because they are not fasting, or they bring a bottle of water to sacrament meeting or they are chewing gum, there may be a very good reason for it, and what they really need is more support to get them through what they are going through.

just my 2 cents!

[Am I worthy?]

I just have a question for whoever would like to entertain it...

I am a convert (almost a year and a half now) and I have a limited use recommend. My bishop had initally told me that I needed to be married before I recieved my endowments, but then found out that I'm 28 rather than 21 and said that I could move forward towards a full recommend.

It was devistating for me at the time, but now I am starting to realize that Heavenly Father may not want me to have a full recommend for some reason. Let me illustrate my concerns.

I have a brain tumor, and it has been gradually taking some things from me. My memory isn't as good as it used to be. Some days I can't even do my ABC's, some days I seem just fine. I (because of the brain tumor) have dropped into a deep depression, so bad that I have attempted suicide many times, and 'cut'. I also have an anxiety disorder now, and have a service dog with me to take to work. My bishop and stake president are very aware of everything going on with me, suicide attempts and all. It is hard because while I know right now that I don't want to hurt myself or cut or do anything contrary to Heavenly Father's will, I also know that I cannot gaurantee where I will be emotionally in an hour or two. When I do those things I am not in control of the decisions I make, and both my bishop and my stake president have both told me that I do not need to repent or that I should ever refuse to take sacrament because of this. I know that we all understand it is something beyond my control. Medications don't work (because it's not real depression, it is the brain tumor and it's location), and I have done everything else I can think of to fix it.

So back to my question... I am beginning to feel that maybe I am not a good candidate for going to the temple. I'm thinking that maybe these things would make me fall into some kind of category so that I should refuse a recommend even if it is offered, or at the very least stop trying to obtain one. I of course would continue to be the best Latter-day Saint that I can be, going to church, reading scriptures, praying, etc. I just don't know; I'm starting to feel really doubtful about the whole thing.

Any thoughts?