Generally_Me
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Posts posted by Generally_Me
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Sounds to me like they don't know you very well, and are making quick judgements on what little bones they are given to chew on mentally. Think about it; someone moves into the neighborhood, claims to be of your religion, but publicly seems to not support that religion. It may be wrong to jump to conclusions, but mankind has a deducing brain (whether it's used or not).
Bottom line: you need to focus on what you have in common with people in the ward. Obviously you have something in common, value-wise, or you would not be LDS. What spoke to you and your wife, convincing you the church was true?
Why don't you tell us what that is, and start focusing on that, rather than the homosexual side of politics? The impression I get from the OP is that the focus is on differences, not similarities.
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Hallelujah!
That's the important part, whatever your situation. You have to find something that will replace the time you spend on the games. You have to find something to make yourself busy enough that you don't think so much about the games. This is when you need support to break the addiction, not criticism and derision. The addict needs encouragement and coaxing, not screeching and anger. It's easier to get an addict off the computer when the family is going outside to rake the leaves together, than it is when the chores are all done and nothing urgent is pressing, yet the spouse is in a rage because the addict is being "unfashionable".
The hardest thing for me was when I would constantly get the impression that the reason my gaming was a problem was because my wife thought it was "unhip" or "dorky", or that she simply wanted to yell for me to jump and expected me to ask "How high?" It also didn't help when she got her mother involved. All that made me defensive. And I just dug in and fought back.
Spending time with nature has filled that need for me, and feeling like the busybodies are off my back makes me a lot more cooperative.
To anyone who considers themselves a "gaming widow", I beg you to offer your husband a more compelling reason to break the addiction than that you want to control him. Acknowledge that he's not viewing obscene material. Acknowledge his level of devotion to Church and family, whatever it is. Be respectful, and you may get him to admit it's an addiction. Until that happens, little good, if any, will come from getting on his case about it. And you can't just bring him to a place where he realizes he's addicted and then dump him there. You have to encourage him to find something else to do with that time, and if you're legitimately concerned that he doesn't spend enough time with you, put your money where your mouth is and offer to spend time with him doing whatever it is that needs to be done. Who knows? It may actually bring you closer together!
Whatever you do, don't give him the impression that you're simply viewing him as an anger inducing, malfunctioning puppet, and don't get upset at him for not obeying any blunt commands to get off the computer. If you think you have problems now, just see what happens if you go down that road.
Make him believe that you genuinely want his company doing something worthwhile, like going for a walk, or something pleasant. If you try to "ground" him, he may just act the part.
Precisely.
Game widows (and widowers) need to read the book "Game Widow" by Wendy Kays. Very small book, I read it in a day, but enlightening and helpfull for the widow.
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Welcome...of course I'm rather new myself! :)
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The wonderful thing about being a young adult: you get to choose your own life! The terrible thing: many people choose wrongly. However, rather than hitting beer ongs and driving drunk, you are choosing to bring the gospel of Christ into your life, a "strict" doctrine that means you won't self-harm, with drinking or smoking or tattoos.
I would suggest sitting down with them in a "family meeting" to break the news. And you might start with "I have been looking for God and I found a religion I feel comfortable with. They believe in God and Jesus and baptism, in personal prayer and revelation." In other words, explain a little of the gospel before you state what church it actually is. and if needed (and appropriate) use the argument/explanation I typed out. They may get mad, but you cannot. You must stay Christlike and humble, or they will get a poor impression of how the church has affected you, however unreasonable it is.
You may want to have moving-out plans, if they do say "I won't have a mormon in my home".
Good luck! And know there are people out here who support your decision!
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That is an excellent question! I've always taken it for granted that one of Satan's minions just stood on our shoulder (kinda like in cartoons) and "whispered" in our "ears". Obviously, in my mind, they cannot read our minds any more than my husband can read mine when he's standing next to me.
I went to lds.org and found the following link that may clarify things for you a bit (second article on the page)
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Thank you; I will have a lot of fun browsing, I'm sure!
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Our bishop set my husband up with an addiction class that meets locally; does your ward/stake/whatever have something similar?
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A lot of practice, I suppose?
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How old are you both? Maybe one of you just isn't mature enough. My brother is going through this right now, his girlfriend whom he'd like to marry is 18 and has never lived away from home. He's a returned missionary, and knows about budgeting. She is scared to marry and move on without trying it on her own first.
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I lost my black sheep position when hubby and I started turning around, and one of my sisters wandered away
I thought the pic was appropriate when I found it... -
Hi, I am new here (um, obviously). I wandered from the path for a long time, and now my husband and I are cleaning up our lives. I was a member of another forum site, but recently reevaluated when several site members started debating the existance of God in a thread I had started. I may have something in common with some of the members of that forum, but I don't find it good for my spiritual development to fight ("debate") with people about the existance of God. So where do I go? Here, where there are a lot of other LDS folk (I assume) :)
So you think your ward is weird?
in General Discussion
Posted
"Also, my hubby and I had hurried over for a Temple Rec. interview from a family party. We were appropriately dressed, but both had sandals on. (not flip-flops) The bishop was apparently so offended, that he gave a quick “talk” on Sunday about wearing respectable shoes to Temple Rec. interviews!"
It's a good thing this guy isn't my bishop. In my NM ward, no few of the investigators and several of the SM-only regulars show up in jeans and t-shirts (yes the women too). There is a primary teacher who wears a tunic-dress that goes to mid thigh, with capris, every week that I've seen her.
Know what? Doesn't affect the spirit at all! It's all right!