DHowsen

Behold....the Keytar (random google image):

lol @ Jay-Z version. Something new just came to mind, too... If they allow the piano and the guitar, do you think they would allow a keytar?

I'm not sure what the rules are (if there are any) for sacrament instruments, but I think it makes more sense to review each performance on a case-by-case basis. I have a friend who I've heard play hymns on his trombone and he makes them sound amazing. I myself would love to put something together for flugelhorn, but I get the feeling that I'd never be able to play it in sacrament. I can understand when it comes to something like percussion instruments, but there are a lot of instruments out there than can be just as beautiful and subdued as a string, flute, oboe or clarinet.

Not only do I live in the Southwest, I live in Mesa, Arizona It's good to hear that this snooty-ness isn't widespread, though. But it's not just directed toward converts. While that does play a factor sometimes, it isn't the core issue. The issue is more based on just plain appearance. If you aren't a clean cut, average weight, well-spoken, reputable individual with clothes that aren't more than 6 months old, it's quite a rare occurrence to show up at a church function around here without having a fair number of people look at you like your some kind of alien. That's not to say that there aren't a few members that are as friendly as you can get no matter what you look like, but there is a good majority out there that seem to have somewhat of a "holier than thou" attitude when it comes to people that don't fit their idea of how a person should look, act and talk. Heaven forbid a guy should show up to church in anything but a white shirt and tie. It's not like the Lord will keep his blessings from a guy if he has to show up at church in a casual knit shirt.

Your whole story relates to one of the things I've always found a bit messed up about the church (or rather, church MEMBERS, to be more specific). (This is probably going to be long...) I was baptized when I was 13 years old and a Freshman in High School. And believe me when I say that this is one of the single most difficult times to go through such a major change in lifestyle. One of the first things you notice, as a teenager, in the actions of the other people around you, is just how judgmental they can be. My family never had a lot of money, I myself was overweight and pretty nerdy looking (still am, in fact ), I'd just moved into the city from a small town with a population of 2000. And here I am, being baptized into the LDS church. It was a very difficult and conflicting time for me. Here I was being spiritually uplifted by a whole new, wonderful way of life, and at the same time, every time I would attend mutual, or Sunday school, or any other activity that involved the other youth, I was looked at by the other kids like I was some kind of filthy bum. It felt like I was being thrown to a pack of wolves every time my Mom would drop me off at wherever we were meeting. Yet I endured, because my leader was just THAT good at negating those cruddy feelings with just the right amount of fun and spirituality. At first, I'd attributed this behavior to the fact that they were kids...and that's just the kind of things that kids DO. But as I progressed, after I was able to afford a white shirt and tie, after I was able to get myself a pair of nice dress pants that actually fit, after I'd gotten contacts to ditch the thick glasses that were the best my mom could afford, after I'd gained a bit of confidence and came out of my shell a bit... It just kept happening. It boggled my mind, and it still boggles my mind to this day, how I could still be made to feel like such an outcast compared to the kids that grew up in the church, or were more "upstanding" members. The looks they give you when you let slip something about your "preLDS" life. The way they always seemed to leave you out of activities and conversations. The way you're made to feel when it's found out that you can't afford to go on whatever trip was being planned... And it wasn't just the converts and investigators that were targeted either. I eventually came to notice that a majority of this behavior was based solely on looks. The sad part is, I'm 31 years old now and I still see this kind of behavior, even in the adults. I'm comfortable enough with myself now, that I can brush off most of the looks I get (I'm still a bit overweight and not very talkative, so some might find me hard to approach, which is weird, seeing that I'm a pretty easy going guy with an awesome sense-of-humor...or so my friends say) even though I fully recognize the fact that I can almost hear them saying, "creep" to me in their heads... but it angers me greatly when I see other people being treated this way. The girl in this story for example. What the bishop and YW president did to that girl was just plain un-Christlike. So her dress might have been a little short. It was probably still a heckuva lot more modest than anything the rest of the girls see at school every day. How are you going to get people to see how good this church is, when you go and make a person feel like crap just because they don't look like the "typical" Mormon? There's a guy in my ward right now that looks like he could be homeless. He's not though. He's just mentally challenged, but not so much so that he can't live on his own. He comes to church in brown slacks and sometimes some very old and faded looking casual shirts. He's the friendliest guy you'll ever meet, and quite funny to talk to, but more than probably 75% of the congregation steers clear of him in the hallway and tries not to come into eye-contact with him. He's not dirty. I know he takes showers because I'm not afraid to strike up a conversation. But it seems people just can't get past his unkempt-looking hair and worn clothing. There's another older middle-aged lady that is very much overweight. She has trouble walking sometimes and has to wear special shoes and a mumu. Who do you think I see snickering behind her back as she waddles to her seat in the chapel? Whatever you're thinking now is most likely wrong! It's not just the kids. There's a few young adults and even a few older men mixed in there making faces behind her back (not to mention the stories my wife tells me about how some of the women in relief society purposely try to avoid her). It's disgusting! Just recently, there was a young man who came to sacrament with one of our priests to do some investigation. He was dressed in a white shirt and tie, but he had blue jeans on, which I could see was already a problem with some people (give the kid a break, jeez!). It just so happened to be Fast and Testimony meeting, and wouldn't you know it, the kid decides to get up and bear his testimony. He's not even baptized yet, and he has the courage to get up to the pulpit and express his gratitude for the kindness he's been shown by his friend and by the missionaries. Yet I can hear people laughing at his unconventional way of saying it. He used a lot of slang, and other frames of speech that you would be more likely to hear at his school than in the house of the Lord, but he was clearly sincere about it. What could possibly be wrong with what he did? Nothing! Yet some in the congregation thought to focus on the way he dressed and how he talked! I hate to use the word anger when I think about how I feel when I see this kind of stuff. Sometimes I feel like walking up to the other members and yelling, "What would Jesus do!" to their faces when I see that judgmental look in their eyes. How can some of these people feel worthy of remembering Christ every Sunday, when they go around making their fellow members and non-members alike, feel like nothing more than dirt on the bottom of their shoe? I've heard the things the prophets have said about our "dress code" and the ideas we are called to represent when we go out into the world, and when we attend church functions and services, but I feel that TOO MUCH emphasis has been placed on how we look. So much so, that there has been an ideal of "normal-ness" infused into our members brains to the level that, anything abnormal is seen as something that doesn't belong. So the girl couldn't dress the way the bishop or the YW president envisioned. They could have either worked it out and continued extending a hand of fellowship toward her, or they could have done what they did and completely turn her away. Why they chose the latter is beyond me? They could have explained to her what the problem was, they could have brought the girls member friends into the discussion to help, they could have used her dress as an example of something that's "close, but no cigar" in a way that wouldn't be degrading. Anything would have been better than what they did! It will always amaze me how people can take the sacrament, sit through a testimony meeting, learn something uplifting about the gospel in Sunday school, attend a class of your peers to learn about how to live a righteous and full life... ...and then walk out of the church building with a disgusted look on their face directed toward the way another human being dresses or acts. I only hope that one day, the leaders of our church, or even the Lord himself, can impress upon these judgmental members just how horrible they are making their fellow brothers and sisters feel. Because until they realize just what they're doing, there will be thousands of open-minded individuals throughout the world that may be poor, or overweight, or not their idea of beautiful, or just plain different, that are turned away from our church, just because a surprising majority of its members have no qualms about making these people feel like unwelcome outcasts. lol, well, that turned out longer than I expected. I guess I had a bit of venting to do :)