The law of chastity has always been my weak spot. Probably because I am so completely insecure about myself. Whenever a guy gives me the time of day, it is just that extra confidence boost, and to turn a guy on... THis is terrible, but... It makes me feel... SEXY. Like, OMGsh! I was the one that caused that! He is turned on by ME. I want it to stop. For the first time in my life I don't see myself as a daughter of God, but an... animal... However, I know I have to talk to my bishop, But I am so scared. He is deaf (I go to a family deaf ward, even though I am not deaf) I dont know the language well, and I don't want to get an interpreter, because all of the interpreters are my friends, and I dont want them to think poorly of me. Not only that, my bishop is so terribly judgemental. I have been wondering if I should just wait it out, wait until we get a new bishop... But this is a problem that needs to be taken care of NOW.
Also, my, erm... Boyfriend? He is now EXPECTING this kind of stuff from me, like its a given... and I am so sorely tempted... But... THe worst part is... I dont even love him... or LIKE him.. He just makes me feel better about myself. I dont know what to tell him, because he is my best friend, and it will break his heart!! UGH! Maybe someone here has some advice... :)
Thanks,
Stay Beautiful
xx