Dear Azriel-
I am so glad you paid your tithing! Good for you!
Please don't think that bad circumstances won't get you down. They will! The worse they are, the worse they feel. That's the human condition.
Getting close to God, despite all conditions-- that is the path to Godliness, which is after all the entire purpose of the Restoration of the Gospel. Getting close to God is what feels good in this whole mess of things that feel bad.
Your depression will work against you. It will separate you from the Spirit sometimes. I have the same. MANY people suffer this way. President Hinckley called it the plague of our generation. Whatever biochemistry exists between us and our food and environment has been messed with in the last days and many people suffer.
But that doesn't mean you can't feel God's presence. You will get revelation from time to time, as you are obedient. You will get that expression of love, too. In fact I would be very surprised if you did not get more than your share of spiritual experiences, and I would be very surprised if those experiences did not end up being extremely powerful-- far above what others might experience around you. I can't explain this, but I have seen it time and time again with people who suffer depression. You will probably always suffer the emotional pain that comes from depression, but you will also experience the rebirth...if this is what you truly wish for, truly desire with all your heart.
Get yourself to the Temple, if you can. Don't let anything stand in your way. In the Temple you can feel closer to the Spirit of God, and even to Jesus Christ. There you will see the truth-- that it is Jesus Christ Himself who introduces you to the Father. Getting your introduction to the Father is something that seldom happens while in this life, but happens to all the faithful eventually, whether here or in the next world. Getting to know Jesus is the key, He is the gate and passage way to the Father.
I, too, have realized that even though I addressed the Father in my prayers, it was the Savior who was allowed to answer them for me. I think this is the correct way, I believe it is also what the General Authorities experience, for their testimonies ring out with love and affection for the Savior. They can truly say they know Him, and how else could this have happened save they'd learned of Him through their prayers? We address the Father when we pray, but Christ it is who frequently is able to converse back to us. Perhaps it has something to do with his place as mediator between us and the Father. I don't know. But I agree with you-- this does seem to be the way it actually takes place when we pray.
Don't let members in your ward teach you false principles. Carefully make your way, and let the spirit be your guide. Church members can be wrong sometimes. Study it out, get some more opinions, pray your way through it. Azriel you will be completely fine. You will be great, better than fine. Trust yourself, and don't be afraid to get it wrong sometimes. That's ok, too.
No worries. God already knows it will work out. Keep at it! He called you out of the world for a reason. All you have to do is keep striving to learn what that was. You were not put into this world to fail. Never forget that. Pain is part of the experience, sadly enough, as is loss and hardship. But even pain can be lifted, through Jesus Christ. His love (the "fruit" spoken of by Lehi) is glorious and sweet. It never runs out. Come to the tree and partake.
Kind regards-
Orangeshift
PS- anti-depressants can also sometimes skew your reception of the spirit. Just something to be aware of as you pray. If you're not getting a lot of input from the spirit daily, you might have to try several times, over a period of days or even weeks, to get really important answers. Sometimes the drugs can mute the spirit, leave a feeling of deadness in the person. I can't tell you what action to take for this. It can be deadly to go off the medications, for some people. I can only suggest you be aware that this happens, and recommend you ask the Father for direction, and possibly also ask your Bishop for priesthood blessings. Fasting, if you get into a pinch, is also particularly powerful. Fasting can shake off the shackles with nothing else can. Fasting for two days instead of one can sometimes be good, too, if you're healthy and able. Just a thought.