Wall of text incoming I have to start from the beginning. I was raised in normal Finish family, my father is lutherian and my mother is atheist, so no religious upraising from there. I was baptized at birth. By the age of 16 I had became completely disillusioned about Christianity and went from agnosticism to Vatanism (Old Scandinavian Gods and stuff). While at the same time studying at the university, due to personal problems and depression I dropped out. At this time I became fallower of laveyan satanism and a practitioner of his "magic". Rapidly declining mental health led to problems with friends, one of whom was a superbly good Christian girl who prayed for me all the time, from some strange reason I could feel whenever she was praying from a warm and "cozy"feeling, which made me angry at her. Then one night she was visiting me at my house and cause of my suicidal thoughts she started praying, this time although reluctantly I started praying with her. All of my worries were taken away, the room filled with feeling of light and warmth, we just laughed and talked the night trough. At that night I disavowed myself from my pagan organizations and practices and started looking for a Church. You see, while I had been an antitheist I had found out all the things that are wrong with most churches, so I felt I couldn't join in any of them. Then some months later I met my future wife at a local book store, and we started talking. We talked every day for a few months, about religion, science, people, roleplaying etc etc. and during this time I fell in love with her. She was member of Mormon church and told me that cause her ex-bf was not a church member she didn't want to go trough it all again, then she told me that if I would come with her to the church she would be my guide, and when I would be baptized she would reconsider about the dating part, she also gave me the assurance: If you can find a flaw in the Church (not from its people) She would fallow me to look for a new one. After this I started learning, first with her and then with missionaries. A year later we married and six months from that we were sealed in Helsinki Temple.