jisa

I have been doing a lot better lately. To tell you the truth, I will always have that battle with myself. Somedays I am great, others fine, and others not so good feeling personally. I don't want to get into my handicap, because I don't want people to feel it is an excuse, because I feel it is at times. 19 1/2 years ago I was hit by a care at age 19 1/2. Was in a coma for 10 days and had to learn how to walk, talk, read, and write all over again. I damage my frontal lobe and broke the left side of my head. so my emotions will be shatteres my whole life. They had to reconstruct my left ear drum etc. It would take pages to get into detail, but I was pretty bad. It happened back on Oct. 16, 1986 when I was going to Ricks (BYU Idaho) College. I am very bless I have no physically handycaps - it is just my emotions and conprehension are shot. And now I feel like a goof head for telling you this, for I can't even understand myself at times or make any sence. Thanks for all your feed-backs and have a great week.

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">Thank you to all for your advise. I finally figured what my problem is. My mind is very stubborn and I have a personal problem of praying all the time for help. This is a strong personal problem and I am a little embarrased to share it. I really feel like I am taking advantage of Heavenly Father when I pray and ask for help. SO I just try and handle things on my own. I am pretty sure it is Satan having a ball messing with my brain, it is just hard to over come this personal problem of not feeling guilty to pray and ask for help. I know that is what we are supposed to do - to thank God for his blessings and ask for help. I feel that he (God) thinks that I am just thanking him so I can ask him for help. That is my problem and it is very hard to over come. Hope that makes since and thanks to all again for your input on my last notes.</span>

Have you ever battled with your mind? I am so always beating myself up for not being the best mom, wife, and normal person. I always want to be better, but never do anything to be that way. I feel like I am just not good enough for anything so why should I even try. My poor family could be better if I was a better mom.

Life can get so out of hand and frustrated, you just don't know what to do. You can sit and eat all day, watch a soap, stay on the computer all night (my flaw, got pasted the eating thing). And then you feel unworthy to pray for help. I still have a hard time praying and to humble myself to do it. But I think that that might help you be at more ease. Another thing that you might want to try is to write in a Journal etc. and write down how you feel and what is going on in your life along with your sisters. When you are done and shut the journal closed, you will probably feel a big relief. It has worked for me. I hope all goes well and thanks for asking for help. That is what friends are for. Take care hun. Jeanette

The Winter this year in Vermont is like a YO-YO. One day it is warn, the next it is cold. Everyone keeps getting sick and I hate it.