kreative1

Um...what would I be repenting to make myself "feel good"??? I only met one of my home teachers the day I got baptized and he never called to set anything up...so...that's a lost cause

Hi, I was baptized on January 16, 2010. It has been a rough time since then. I grew up Christian and I was baptized when I was 10. I never felt any difference after; if anything, I got worse. So I just went to church ever since and stayed to myself. I do believe in Christ and the Lord, but I was scared of being baptized again. It took me a while to set a baptism date once I started attending LDS church. I was scared that my life would become soooo difficult for me to bear. But I made the decision and did become baptized. I went to regional conference end of January and my life has been horrible since then. Long-story short, I was attacked by the devil with things in my life that shouldn't matter. I wanted to do things to myself that NEVER crossed my mind before. I felt scared because of the thoughts I was having, so the only thing I knew to do, was called up a psychologist. I know how dangerous it can be to keep things like that to myself, so i sought out professional help. Some may say, oh talk to your bishop or someone at church, but please, it is easier said than done. I am a convert with no Mormon family members, no Mormon friends...it's just me alone. I am seeking this salvation alone and even when I told my therapist about my recent conversion, she said I found peace in LDS and that's a good thing. However, in my opinion, it has made my life harder. I started going to Institute, stopped because I felt out of place...started again and I am having the same loneliness. I go, sit in the back, listen and leave. I do find some peace there, but I often leave crying. Same thing on Sundays, I can't wait to go, but once I am there, I want to leave. I leave at the end of RS and I just feel...alone. Because really...that's what it is. I read the scriptures and I have so many questions! But I can only read and wait to find the answer. I do not know anyone in the church, I don't go to activities, because the same way I am outcasted at church, I feel it will be the same. See, I am not like most of the people in this YSA branch...I am a convert, I have tattoos, I don't know how to bear testimony, I did not obey the law of chastity...I am just unpure. I am starting to feel like...I made this decision for the wrong reasons. I do believe in the gospel and it's principles, but it is hard to understand and hard to do this alone. I just feel like people (Mormons) will never understand or even care...

This is a funny story because I can just imagine this elderly woman saying, "kill me then" and giving him her scriptures. I agree with Wingnut that he probably needs it more than she does.

Hi everyone. Just quickly introducing myself. I live in Miami, FL and currently learning more about the church. I am hoping to be baptized soon in January. I have been attending the church for about a month now, and I like the way I am feeling about it.:)