Hey noche, I am so sorry to hear about what you're going thru. I know a lot of how you are feeling. I have been thru a similar ordeal with my own husband and so I hope I can help. Last May my husband confessed to me that he had cheated on me two years ago during a Naval deployment with two seprate women from the ship, both of whom knew that he was married. The kicker: when the ship came home I was introduced to and befriended both women. Not only had he betrayed my trust in him and lied to my face about it, but he had then allowed me to become friends with the two women, never knowing who they really were. I was compleatly crushed. I know the pain, anger, and the confusion you are feeling... even the hatred you feel at times. I have also felt it. It feels overwhelming and consuming and never-ending. Take your time, sort out your feelings, and see a chruch counselor. The counselor we saw helped us and me so much! Having someone who I could talk to, cry to, explain all my feelings to was such a relief, and knowing that she wasn't judging, simply listeneing and trying to help. Because of the steps that my husband took to fix what he had done and the fact that he was clearly remorseful for his sins, I decided to stay with him and we have moved forward together. There is still some pain sometimes, but it is now like a scar that is still pink instead of the gaping wound that it was. Together we are healing and growing closer together. But that was my decision. I can not and will not tell you what decision to make as far as your relationship with your husband. That decision is between you and the Lord. It's not between you and your husband because he should wait for whatever you decide (he already made his decisions. now it's your turn), but it should be between you and your Heavenly Father. Just know that you Father does love you and He is there for you. I had a very direct answer to prayer one time when I really needed it and I know that our Father hears us. Whatever you end up deciding with your husband, know that Dad is there for you no matter what. And so am I, dear sister.