needingadvice

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About needingadvice

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  1. needingadvice

    is it masturbation?

    I am a female....
  2. needingadvice

    is it masturbation?

    This may be a stupid question but Im gonna ask anyway. What exaclty counts as masturbation? If you touch your private parts and you are not thinking about sexual things or trying to stimulate sexual feelings or anything, but maybe you are just trying to get comfortable... you are itchy or your garments are bothering you and you have to adjust for no better way to describe... am I masturbating? As an endowed member is this something I need to confess even though it is not sexual touching?
  3. needingadvice

    To stay or to go.

    I HAVE been telling him to change since my daugther was born 3 years ago. He's gotten better in some ways but is still nowhere near where he needs to be for me to trust him and have another baby with him.. I told him that and he said its my own fault and problem if I have issues trusting him. And that I just need to get over it. I am in counseling. My counselor is pushing for me to leave. The bishop/SP know everything though they haven't been helpful to me.
  4. needingadvice

    To stay or to go.

    I've been married for 7 years, we have a 3 year old. My husband has been abusive... emotionally/verbally/economically/spiritually and he did hit me once too (it was over a year ago). He is VERY immature and selfish. He does little to help with our child who has special needs. He plays with her, only when he feels like it.. that is IT. He spends 99% of his time at work or on the computer playing games. He tells me we don't need counseling. He still goes back and forth blaming me for the abuse. He has gone to the bishop and SP but that has not helped him to take responsibility. I can't see having another child with him. I'm 29 and I feel like if I am going to hope to remarry and have more children this is a good time to do it, 5 years from now and I will just be 5 years older. I left my daughter with him a month ago to go to the temple and came home to find her asleep on the family room carpet with only a diaper on (it was in the 30s outside.. probably 68 inside but still too cold to wear nothing... he siad it was too hard to change her clothes (she threw a fit)) and he had "forgotten" to give her dinner. He also frequently "forgets" to change her diaper if I leave him with her. I don't really feel love for him, I don't respect or trust him. The only reason I have stayed is the stake president asking me if I have done everything possible to save the marriage. Well, I did try and try, but now I just don't want to keep trying. I feel guilty that I just want to be out. I don't want to keep going on this cycle. That and at the moment I am a stay at home mom, which is what I've always wanted to be, more than ANYTHING. Plus my kid has a disability so I feel like she does need extra attention that I'm not sure I will be able to give her as a single mom. Meanwhile I am really not happy. I want so badly to have a more normal marriage and more children. WDYT?
  5. needingadvice

    Excommunication and Rebaptism

    There are couple of occasion stated in the CHoI that prevents any person from re-entering the baptismal water after being member of the church [temple endowed]. Can you tell us what these reasons are? Anyone? Just curious.
  6. needingadvice

    Disposing of Garments

    You don't need a CURRENT temple reccomend to buy garments. You can show your driver's license and they do confirm you are an endowed member, but... say you are inactive. You are still supposed to wear garments, so you can still buy them.
  7. needingadvice

    I don't feel like I belong

    I'm a convert to the church of 10 years. The last 10 years have not been easy. My husband is also a convert and he's been abusive and used "the priesthood" as his excuse. I've made some pretty big mistakes since my baptism. Broke the law of chastity, I was pressured by my husband, but ultimately it was my choice. Repented, got sealed in the temple after we got married. My husbands been mostly inactive since then and for a long time I just followed whatever he was doing...... he's not interested in prayer, priesthood blessings, the temple, scriptures... in the few times he goes to church he wants to leave ASAP. Tithing with him involved didn't work out, he always wanted material things and eating out and got angry when he couldn't spend how he wanted. I had to ask him to stop (bishop knows) because he wouldn't allow me to buy necessities. I've been told by even the stake president that this wasn't my fault, yet I still feel guilty. He is making good money (over 70k in utah) and our mortgage is low and I've tried. We also have a child with special needs. For the past year I have been totally active myself, even got my recommend back. But, I just feel depressed. I feel like I will never feel like I "belong." I want to live the gospel, but its hard doing it by myself, especially as a convert. I have a testimony, I just feel alone, and I don't always know HOW to liove the gospel. And I feel like I've already messed up too much since my baptism. All the talks/lessons in church....... eternal families, priesthood, self reliance, family responsibilities, temple.... they all just get to me, The last few weeks I have barely been able to not cry. I am also living in Utah now which I think makes it harder........ fewer converts here, more 100% active families, and I just feel even more isolated. My ward has sooo many active families that there are no callings left. No one would notice if I didn't come. Only the bishop knows anything about my family really, everyone else just assumes my husband works sundays (well, he does but that is just the tip of the iceberg of the problems with him), so no one really knows that I need extra support. I don't know what the point of this post is really, I'm just having a down day and want to know, how do I get over feeling like I don't belong?
  8. needingadvice

    not sure I should have a reccomend

    As much as I love going to the temple, and as much as I am TRYING to live the gospel.......... I feel sooooo anxious about living the law of tithing. Right now, not an issue because my husband is inactive and I'm a SAHM. As I've stated on here before he was extremely abusive for awhile. He was paying his tithing, then spending money on what he wanted, then telling me I don't need food, clothes, medical care, etc etc. It was a nightmare. I am scared to death of what will happen when/if he decides to pay tithing again. So if I WANT to pay but it just scares me, but I would TRY despite the fact that I would probably have daily panic attacks, .... should I really use my recommend? I am doing everything else I should be.
  9. needingadvice

    church discipline

    I met with the bishop about two months ago. I had just moved into the ward and had my old bishop and the counselor I was seeing prior to moving speak with him as well. I also had typed up a 2 page summary giving some specific information and examples. My husband met with him two weeks ago and I haven't met with the bishop since then. I do appreciate that my husband seems to be trying to have fun dates and all, its just that that seems like such a small solution to a big problem. Does that make sense? The fact that my husband will not discuss with me what has happened and just wants to forget all about it and have fun together, it kinda bugs me, like the pain and turmoil I have gone thru means nothing and I just have to put on a happy face and move on. I do want to forgive him, but I also want him to understand what has happened so it won't happen again.
  10. needingadvice

    church discipline

    Oh and my husband is inactive if that makes any difference. He hasn't been doing the prayer or scripture study and if I try to talk to him about whats happened he "doesnt want to remember it" or "doesnt feel like talkiing" which is just not too helpful (.
  11. needingadvice

    church discipline

    So I have been on here before, asking questions because my husband has been emotionally/verbally/financially and at time physically abusive towards me for around the past 3 years. Well, he finally did go in to talk to the bishop about it. He says he told the bishop everything that has gone on, yet the bishop told him only to take me on dates and read his scriptures and pray. He is doing the dates thing, but I just wonder what the bishop is thinking? I thought there might be some kind of disciplinary action or at least recommend counseling. I mean dates are nice but they don't even begin to repair the damage that has been done. I guess it makes me unforgiving but it would take more than dates to rebuild the trust that has been lost. I'm just not sure what to think. I almost feel liek the bishop is just sweeping this under the rug and hoping it goes away?
  12. needingadvice

    Asking for a calling?

    Is it wrong to ask for a calling? I was inactive for almost 1.5 years, then went back last August. Got my TR back in January and moved in February. My husband is totally inactive, and I want to get to know people in the ward. I WANT TO SERVE! I have the time for a calling too. My bishop may think I can't handle a calling since I have a daughter with autism and DH is inactive and abusive, BUT, I really need one. So can I ask for one or is that totally impolite? Should I just keep praying for one?
  13. needingadvice

    church discipline

    Guess I will be more specific so I can get better answers. MP holder, endowed, inactive for 3 years, wife comes forward that he has been abusive (mostly verbal, emotional, economic but once instance of physical abuse). How do bishops handle this? Confront the guy? Or help the victim until the guy possibly confesses at some point?
  14. needingadvice

    church discipline

    If someone is presently inactive with no desire to return to the church, and the bishop or stake president finds out through other sources that they are committing or have committed "serious sin" (such as serious violations of civil law, spouse abuse, child abuse, adultery, fornication, rape, and incest)... do they call the person in, try to get a confession, or confront them? Or, do they wait until the person is trying to go back to church? Or does it vary?
  15. Do you live near a college? Maybe you could find a male college student that needs room and board in exchange for them doing laundry and cleaning. It would be a great deal for the right person.