honestabe

HI Suzie, You are right about it's my coping with it 100%. I just have a hard time understanding how someone can rationalize whats gone on and for as long as it has. Her whole marriage has been a sham (it's been built on lies & deception). The guy was living two extremely opposite lives. How in a persons right mind does someone look at the facts of what this guy has done and say "I'm going to try and work thru this" It's got me baffled.

Just so understand what your implying.....you think your hand was injured as a direct result of you masturbating? This was GODS way of punishing you? just wondering:eek:

So just so I understand you....you think that your hand was injured because you masterbated a little?

I think that too many people stay in marriages that they shouldn't. If you want children and she doesn't thats a big gap. Life is too short to spend it with someone that doesn't want the same things you do...especially the children issue. Find someone who is compatable with you, if your wife decided that she would give you a child, down the road she could resent you for it, leave and really mess up your life and the childs. Everyone deserves to have some contentment in their lives. RUN and find someone that wants the same things you do out of life.

To finish my story, I have a hard time with the decision she is making. I believe he will smooth things over and keep screwing up. After all he has been lying & deceiving for the last 16 years. I wish someone could talk some sense into her. Please respond with your opinions. I do not want to have anything to do with this guy but that decision will obviously damper my relationship with my sister & their children. I know what kind of person he is and its like everyone else in my family is saying "forgiveness, he is sorry, he can change blah blah blah". I would really like some replies on this. At what point does someone have enough self love to leave. Not to mention the message she is sending to her children...it doesn't matter what someone does to you (thats supposed to love you), stick in there and let them treat you poorly even when infedelity is involved. I know if I had a daughter that the same thing happened to, I definetly would not want her to stay after someone has lied and cheated. This is driving me mad!!!!!!!!

I have a brother in law (not LDS at the time) that dated my oldest sister from around age 16 to 20. My sister left him at age 20 because she knew that her life would be hell if she stayed with him, he was drinking alot using drugs and did not treat her very well. She loved him very much and it was a hard decision for her, they were high school sweet hearts. We come from a family that is LDS. At that time my sister was not active in the church for obvious reasons. Once she left him, she started going to church etc. Around a year later she was married (sealed) to a returned missionary. Needless to say another year later, give or take the marriage was annulled for reasons of he mislead her with what his life plans were. During this time my now brother in law started taking the LDS talks and quit drinking, smoking etc. Knowing that my sisters marriage was on the way out. My sister ended up marrying this guy and getting sealed to him 1-2 years later. We just found out that he has been lying to her about his drinking, gambling and general deception to my sister approximately a year into the marriage (not a surprise to myself). They have 3 children now and been married for around 16 years. On top of the mentioned issues, he has been sleeping with prostitutes for the last 3-5 years. My poor sister found out about this the hard way when she found she had an STD. When confronted he tried to blame her initially. Then the flood gates opened with what he really has been doing. She was devastated. They own a business that employs alot of women. He was also messing around with alot of these women also. To make it worse they live in a small town. Fast forward three months, now she has decided to try to work things out (how you do this with someone who is obviously very very selfish and I think incapable of treating her right). Now he has been told by professionals that he has a sex addiction as well as gambling, drinking etc. They are going to meetings etc. They have told there kids about the drinking & gambling but left out the climax of the situation (no pun intended).