ontherighttrack

This thread has been the most interesting and worthwhile I have found on this website. So thank you for the discussion. In response to your question Prisonchaplain (recognising that this is my opinion)... for me I would say that the answer is "yes". I think we do have a responsibility to share the "good news" with each other and to learn the doctrines of salvation. Yet, I think one does not have to take on the "Pharisee" approach to do it. My Dad taught me that I can be right and still be wrong if the spirit in which I communicate it is wrong. I believe that those are good words of wisdom. The intent should be to bring others closer to Christ. I have Muslim friends, Jehovah Witness friends, Catholic friends, Hindu friends, Methodist friends, athiest friends and many other friends from different denominations. I share many similar views with each of them even if some differ. I have no problems with any of my friends (or those who I don't even know) sharing their beliefs with me and I with them but the spirit in which it is done is not to "attack" the other but rather done in "love" and a mutual respect for each other. Muslims get a lot of anti, Jews get a lot of anti, Mormons get a lot of anti, Scientology gets a lot of anti, etc. I find that this goes beyond sharing differing points of doctrine - it is done in a spirit of contention, bigotry, and oft-times ignorance. The person does not teach in "love" but rather in "pride". One can only truly be converted to Christ through the Spirit - not through reasoning or force. As for the definition of Christian? Well "Christ" is in the name Christian so I would say that a belief of Christ as their Savior must be present. But I think Christian would go a step further by saying that they follow the teachings of Christ. In and out of the church you may have people who believe in Christ but not follow His teachings so I guess that doesn't make one very Christian. Do I consider Mormons Christian? Absolutely. Do I consider Jehovah Witnesses Christian? Absolutely. Do I believe RLDS are Christian. Absolutely. All deserve the title of Christian.....if they follow the teachings of Christ and have the heart of Christ. If we have the heart of Christ then I guess we all work to keep the commandments and seek after truth and righteousness. I am okay if people want to proselyte to me about their religion or to share love and concern for me about "errors" they think I am making (though I have a strong testimony of the things I do know to be true). But there is no need to make a mission out of "bashing" anyone's religion even if they think the doctrines are wrong. Convert people - not through condemnation - but through bringing them closer to Christ. I have never been able to understand how intolerant and disrespectful people are for people who practice beliefs or doctrine that are dissimilar to theirs. It stuns me. The media does it all the time. It seems and feels very bigotted and ignorant. You don't save souls by tearing them down...but by lifting them up....since the gospel is essentially "the good news" and not "the bad news".

May I suggest 3 things to you to help you feel the spirit again in your life. 1) Seek counsel from your Bishop and follow it 2) Take and pause in your relationship with this girl and focus on your worthiness. When you do you will more likely be able to discern what you feel 3) Have courage and faith and hope for the future 4) Seek counselling for any abuse you may have encountered You cannot receive revelation for this girl. You can encourage, love and guide but you cannot receive revelation for her that you are the right one. If you feel like you have you can count on the fact that you have been deceived. The Lord does not work in that way - that would be inhibiting on her agency. Hope that helps. P.S. I hope this doesn't sound judgmental at all because it isn't intended as such - from what you wrote it sounds like you need someone to help you out of the thinking and frame of mind you are in. It sounds like you have been trapped into an emotional relationship and not using common sense with it all. It does not sound healthy. Take a step back to help you see it more clearly.

Um, yeah. I understand what anxiety does. It makes you feel out of control and you'd rather die than to feel out of control. You need to seek help for your anxiety. I'd highly recommend you see your doctor right away and let him/her know of your anxiety issues. They may suggest medication or couselling or both. I highly recommend getting some counselling. They are able to talk you through rational ways of thinking and support you by giving you strategies to use that will help you address your anxiety issues. I suggest you also call the bishop or have a trusted friend call the bishop (if you are too anxious to call him) and let him know that you suffer from intense anxiety and need support in the calling by someone who is undersanding of your issues. By the way...you aren't abnormal. You just have anxiety. We all need help in one way or another. Sometimes it comes in the form of people, sometimes in the form of medication, sometimes in the form of counselling, sometimes in the form of work....BUT ALWAYS in the form of prayer and turning to the Lord. Seek help and also seek the Lord's help. It is okay to ask for help. PLEASE DO. Nobody will think less of you and if they do it is only because they are ignorant. Don't mind them. I am sure they have their own issues. My prayers are with you. You are not weak because you have this problem. Just remember that.

ggg

Really there is not much more than that. They expected me to be forthright and not hide behind excuses for being out of town when I was asked to speak in church or teach a lesson in church. I guess, in my pride, I just didn't want to have to admit that I was going through some issues of worthiness when it came to my boyfriend. I figured that it was private. They didn't care to have details they just wantd me to be honest rather than making excuses especially since they had shared so much with me and opened up my family to them they were hurt that I wouldn't just be open and honest with them. Really. That's it. At that point I just become a tenant who they largely ignored and it has been very difficult to get past the wall that was put up at that point no matter what I do. It has been hard because their perception of the situation is not what the situation really is but I haven't been able to communicate with them because every time I try I can't seem to get past this wall of "distrust". This family is a great family who invite people into their home and treat them as part of their own family and also as a help to subsidize their own mortgage through room/board. Much of this is misunderstanding but since I can't seem to have success communicating that my intent was not to be deceitful (though I guess diverting with excuses is deceitful). Rather my intent was not bombard them with things I was trying to work out on my own. They just wanted me to say, "I can't speak in church right now" rather than "I might not be here this weekend". They felt it was dishonest. And I guess they are right. But there is no forgiveness.

I have to be the first to tell you that the advice given at the last General Conference to "Choose your love and love your choice" is a good adage to remember. I think Satan traps us to think that we have missed the opportunity and everything else will be second best. Not true. He is a liar and a thief to our potential. I wouldn't hesitate to tell you that the relationship you were in didn't sound at all like the type of eternal relationship that you want. So...think of all future relationship as better. However you should look at yourself and work to attain all the attributes that would make you a great husband and father. I had a relationship like yours in the fact that it felt like it was meant to be eternal matches. I grieved a lot when that relationship didn't work out and thought I had lost my eternal companion. I wasted A LONG time grieving. If I had to do it all over again I would have listened to that still small voice that said not to dwell on it. Here are your choices: a)ache about the relationship and wish to get it back (though it is probably an unhealthy relationship) b)pester your ex-girlfriend to get back together again and go through the whole painful process again (either now or in marriage) c)grieve about your loss for years d)have faith, move forward, and allow the full blessings of life and the gospel be yours by accepting that what you think should be isn't always the right thing. Things will work out if you are righteous and obedient. So which one do you choose? Food for thought: Faith is the opposite of fear. The Lord will not ever give you an answer that hinders on the agency of the other. There are many people you are compatible with. Choose your love and love your choice...meaning that marriage is more about being the right one than having the right one. Work on being secure emotionally/mentally, spiritually, and physically and your confidence in these matters will wax strong. Look up general conference talks on marriage at lds.com.

I room and board with a family that is fantastic. We were the best of friends until I decided not to disclose difficulties I was having in a relationship I was in and they thought or felt I was being secretive (which I was but not intended to). It has been difficult to communicate that my intention wasn't to hide but to figure out these things on my own. However they couldn't wrap their mind around it and grew to distrust me. Since then little things have built up...petty things. I think some things they think of me are imagined offenses which I can't seem to addrss but they don't communicate with me and I with them. I wish I could have that relationship back but it appears that whatever I do to try doesn't work. I will be moving soon. I'd like to leave on a good note. I haven't been able to communicate with them about things and find it awkward to do so. Should I try to address this regret of our friendship with them and any misunderstandings before I go or should I just go?