elsbeth

I don't see a reason to get married before 30, and I don't see a reason to blame or guilt people who wait. There is no benefit to getting married at 18, 19, 20 -- in fact, I'd argue that it makes marriage harder. Can you have a family in your late teens or early 20s and find happiness? Of course. But it's a lot easier if you're a mature person with an education, a steady job, and a good understanding of who you are and what your needs are in a relationship. It also makes it a lot easier on your children when you're not a wet-behind-the-ears 22 year-old with no college education trying to put food on the table and keep a steady job in this economy. People can judge this statement however they please, but I'd just like to point out that it's possible to have a family in certain countries without having a wife.

I know this might be a radical idea, but maybe -- just maybe -- the members of her relief society are closed-off, judgmental shrews. Just because someone is Mormon that doesn't mean that they're automatically a good, friendly, welcoming person. It's entirely possible that the women of her RS are cliquish. Furthermore, I find it very unhelpful, and perhaps even mean, to tell someone who is feeling sad and alone that they're being a "victim," and then berating them for not "serving" others. dsholly59 came to the boards obviously upset and wanting help, and all you've done is judge her. Those who are feeling left out and isolated are most in need of attention and acceptance. dsholly59 is dealing with problems that are going to make her feel out-of-place. The problem is, church is the one place where she SHOULD feel accepted, and the behavior of the RS women has failed to enforce that feeling. For all the talk of feeling "one with God," most women who are attending RS and talking about bake sales and whatnot are probably not "bake selling" for the Lord. dsholly59 still human, with human emotions and perceptions, and expecting her to not be affected or influenced by her surroundings is irrational and insensitive. Furthermore, she doesn't need to go to church to have a strong relationship with God. dsholly59, or any other women who are experiencing something similar: do your part to build a relationship with your RS members, but if they're unwilling to befriend you, don't worry about it. Not everyone fits in with certain groups. If it's important to you, attend the RS meetings, but don't make it a social thing. When church is over, go home and spend time with people who value you for you.