Just_8Guy

I have read through many of the posts and I have been thinking about it. Her brother now owes us $6,000. I pretty much feel like we will never get the money back. I have written it off because I feel like I did not earn the money anyway. The Federal Government gave me that money because I have four kids so I do not feel I deserve it. Anyways, what bothers me the most about this situation is not the money. If I were to incur $6,000 worth of debt because of stupid decisions my wife would be furiously angry with me. Her brother does it and it is okay. My wife and I do not date much. She doesn't care much about physical intimacy at all in the last year. Her greatest energy seems focused on caring for our six month old baby and earning enough money to visit her family who now live over a thousand miles away. She wants to fly me out there to visit to but I am not interested because I do not want to spend retirement money and we debts we still need to pay off. I think she cares about her siblings and parents more than me. We have been fighting more about money today. She wants to buy a cellphone contract we do not need, fly a relative out to visit completely paying for all airline costs, and then go out again to visit her family in July. We may not incur any debt over doing this but I have the philosophy of living beneath your means and laying up in store. I know that I am not perfect. This marriage is partially my fault. I will be shocked if we are still married after our kids leave the house if this is the way things keep going. Sometimes I wonder if I even want to fight for our relationship at all. I do not know what is going to happen in the future.

This is what I see as well JudoMinja. If you constantly bail someone out of their problems and not let them face the pain and consequences of their irresponsible behavior they will never learn. Give it another six months and he will very likely be gambling again and end up in the same situation. I like her brother but I do not want to enable someone to continue sinful and destructive behavior. This same person has run out of gasoline about 10 times since I have known him and calls his family to come give him gasoline. I say make him walk to the nearest gas station. I do not know why his family wants to enable his irresponsible behavior. Let him become a man who is able to support himself.

It is very frustrating. I told her we were never lending him money again after this if the debt was incurred on gambling. We have helped out some of her other family in the past. I have no problem with lending money for situation like unemployment that is not your fault. I do have a problem with enabling destructive behavior.

My wife just recently informed me she is "lending" $1,000 to her brother because he incurred this much debt gambling. This is the second time he has asked us for money on a gambling debt. My wife said he learned his lesson last time and he would not ask us again. He paid us back only $800 last time before he incurred this new $1,000 debt. I am not happy about this. I got angry when she said we were lending this money to her brother again. I told her he needs to attend the Latter-Day Saint Addiction Recovery program. I think he needs to grow up and not ask for a bail out of his self incurred problems. I know he will not attend Addiction Recovery Program. I feel like I am just enabling destructive behavior. My wife has about $30,000 of college debt we have not paid off. Just because we have about $11,000 in the bank doesn't mean we are rich. I believe we will be responsible for our own retirement in the future because there will not be any social security. I am not happy about this at all. Any advice?

I have really been trying to reduce my sugar intake. No soda pop, no candy, cakes or donuts. Chocolate is my one weakness. I do feel better than I used to trying to stick to this diet. I want to try to do this for the rest of my life. I know I will have slip ups, but the trick is to keep trying.

I like doing leg lifts. I think a good routine is to do at least 150 leg lifts per week.

Thanks for the great quote.

Nauvoo is such a beautiful Temple Dahlia. You will enjoy it.

I very likely would not have the employment I have now if I would not have served a two year mission. Skills were acquired by me there that would not have been learned in other parts of my life. More importantly the eternal blessings I received from doing the LORD's work cannot be counted in this life.