[I'm scared my spouses addiction will tear us apart.]

The only issues that will tear you apart are the ones that you want to tear you apart. Take ownership of the issue as a couple. Recognize that your relationship is there to work issues out.

Its amazing to see how many people chose running away, or blame as their option instead of working together.

[Struggling On the Inside]

So...you resent that your husband is not as sexually aware as you?

[Looking for perspective about inactive spouse]

Whats more important to you, bowing to social pressure that is spoken or felt or your husband?

The inevitable doomsayers always arrive when idealism rears its ugly head in these sort of situations. Even now, I bet someone is typing something about eternal rewards or commenting on the scandal that could arise from you daring to thwart the mass hysteria of believing that a spouse is only as good as their belief in the afterlife.

If you are happy with your relationship, then accept what is, don't nag, but patiently encourage and you will be rewarded with a change of heart, as will he. The carrot brings more lasting results than the stick ever did.

[Boyfriend having 2nd thoughts about mission..]

There is a stigma again'st the men who have not gone on a mission and I have noticed that it appears on a regular basis as people share their competitive stories in some kind of strange bid to determine social pecking order. For a Mormon boy, serving a mission is a coming of age ritual and there is serious social pressure to volunteer and a lot go, simply because its expected.

There is always time to reconsider as I am sure he hasn't neared his best before date. The mission life provides an opportunity to exponentially grow spiritually, as well it provides a place to strengthen self confidence, so it has its rewards. If he is miserable about the decision now, the stress of mission life will only enhance his misery. Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is listening to your own heart and ignoring everyone's expectations or "advice", even when its from family.

[New Bishop, revelation and....]

The people with the skills and foundation required to be a bishop, or even any calling draws from a very limited pool of people, so it is not surprising that most callings are not announced with a 40 day fast or a choir of angels.

Lets face it, people move around, already have callings and the church is run like a business, so its not all that surprising when we over think the reasons for callings and imagine that there is far more going on than the most obvious answer. I imagine that there are on occasions revelation, but I would think based on the need of such a vast organization that practical considerations dwarf any divine considerations.

[North Korea, real threats, or just more posturing?]

North Korea and China is what Afghanistan is to Pakistan.

I can't say that I am fond of your perspective Vort, but I do credit you for knowing some history. Most Americans are quick to forget that they have only had world domination for about 60 years, which is nothing compared with military and world history. The rust of America's might is really showing through the paint.

North Korea is biding its time, like a child to a big brother that is about to tag along as the present bully gets some competition.

[Monument Park 19th. I think.]

Better to be cynical than to be condescended or to accept church opinion that they are broken in some manner. Then again, flirting with someone who expects the man to initiate conversation, chase her down and flatter her while being limp as a Daughter of God, gets tiresome.

[Is there a GOD??]

Its easy to confuse revelation with subconscious processing.

[Is there a GOD??]

A lot of people use "revelation" to justify what they want or to entice someone, usually a spouse, to agree with them. Its extremely hard to separate the wheat from the chaff.

[Pet peeve: Inappropriate laughter at General Conference]

You think too much.

[Husband does Illegal graffiti]

I go 20 km/h average over the limit. Does that mean I need to see the bishop or am about to become a monster that is worthy of e-judgement?

[Husband making me choose between him and the church]

Sometimes I think the dire predictions people toss around are for the sake of justifying their irrational fear, rather than offering sound advice. I don't believe its constructive to offer advice about ending a marriage, even if it is not ideal. Another thing, sacrificing someone for an ideal seems to be a common theme that ends in more tragedy, rather than any constructive progress.

If anything, the husbands ultimatum was a test to see how much she believes in her new path. You love him and as long as you two don't beat each other, then stay together.

[Pet peeve: Inappropriate laughter at General Conference]

Drink and be merry; for tomorrow we die.

[Your perception of ex Mormonism]

Look at their dog tags. Its interesting to see that no matter people's faith or whether they are practicing a religion, they still wish to have some association or last rites with a religion they have ties to.

I was in an urban exercise, climbed to the roof of a barn with a C9 and got shot in the head with simunition as I was deploying the bipod. Then I was dragged do the "dead" room and a chaplain was going around giving everyone rites based on their religion and it was astonishing to hear him give a blessing that was very LDS, even though I wasn't practicing at the time.

[What do you think of a working man who tells his struggling stay-at-home wife the following?]

I have my Grandfathers letters to my Grandmother, while he was in Europe during World War Two and it struck me as very ironic and very surreal that he was being shot at and being bombed, but still had to write home to his wife that she shouldn't worry about this an that. In my mind, she was complaining about petty things in comparison to his situation, however, I am sure he appreciated every letter from her like it was a the best present anyone could wish for.

My sister graduated from teachers college, married in the temple, got pregnant and then dumped her husband and got a divorce, moved in with my Mom who had no money and was barely surviving herself. So, I moved in, and started to pay for all the groceries, a huge portion of the rent, but what struck my as funny was that my sister insisted that she should be a nurturing stay at home mother, while my mother who had raised seven kids, had no intention of earning any money.

My sister was living on credit cards and with mounting interest on her student loans, I sarcastically said to her, being a stay at home mother doesn't do you much good when you are nearly starving. I was at the end of my patience because I had added an extra hour of commute time, with the extra fuel, was paying a lion's share of rent, buying diapers and junk, while she twiddled her thumbs and talked about how it was her right to stay at home. She finally got a job, due to my comments, as did my mother, so I was of assistance, but at the same time, I don't think she has a clue as to what I did for her. I moved out, without any thanks from her.

Being a nurturer is not much good when there is nothing to nurture, not to mention that claiming that it is men's or women's work is just leading to a world of sad assumptions that will lead to relationship difficulty. I think a lot of people are sheltered and fail to understand the circumstances or the work load of the other person.

[Swears: Are we bothered by the right(wrong?) ones?]

Take care that your offense and your request for what you consider proper speech does not escalate the situation farther than simply ignoring the words would.

I have been a prolific user of said colourful words and occasionally I do utter them out frustration, but its becoming an ever more rare circumstance. At work, we used to have four shifts and I noticed that over time my shift swore less and less than the other shifts. Comparing shifts was like comparing cats in heat to pandas.

I can't give myself too much credit, but people do learn by example more quickly than if they were confronted and if its their idea, they will adopt new speech patterns.

[Is there a GOD??]

What does your husbands belief in God have to do with your feelings about him or commitment to him?

I was always confused as to why a lot of Mormon women were so fanatical about wanting their man to be Bible beaters, until I learned recently about the marriage vows. Then I made the connection in my head that a lot of people assume that their relationship or the regard of the other person is only as good as the other persons commitment to God, which is a tragic mistake as the assumption ignores the basics of the point of a marriage.

God exists because he says he does.

[What makes you stay?]

I have been hither and thither on church attendance, some of it because of my own unease at the cliches, passive-aggressive culture, strange use of divine right, feel a lot of guilt for frivolous or real issues but mostly I keep a healthy perspective because I am afraid of becoming what I once was, naive. I refuse to give the party lines, "I know the church is true", or even better, "I know President so and so is called of God", while the President is conveniently located next to them.

The church surrounds itself with glossy pictures, professional image, business mentality, but if you scratch the surface, you have a seething sea of humanity with all of its poor and good decisions.

There is the bishops kids who believe they are the chosen ones, there is person who is constantly repenting about something they did yesterday and will probably do it again, there are those who are desperately over compensating for something they did 20 years ago, there is the person who is abusing prescription pills or recreation drugs, there is the quiet unassuming person, there is the person who bends the rules and does what they want, there is the warm and caring person, there is the humble and faithful person. I could go on and on.

My point is that despite us, the members and some of the leadership, possessing an inferiority complex, the LDS church is still a wise place to spend your time. The goals that are discussed are beneficial and the principles are divine. No doubt, some who read this will assume I am being crass and vindictive, but they would have a flawed conclusion as I still believe the gospel is a beautiful thing. That being said, I do believe happiness and truth is not a Mormon monopoly and is available to all.

Vort is incapable of offense it seems.

[What makes you stay?]

It brings inner peace and I enjoy being condescended by the married folk, as I attend YSA.

[What is sin?]

Sin is the action required to do evil. Defining evil, requires a just assumption that the one issuing the charge is of an opposite and higher moral fibre. Given our present state, its no surprise when that charge is laid for gain, rather than for justice.

I think it would be more wise to define choices as selfless or self, rather than black and white, good or evil, Satan or Jesus. Where does the injustice lie in self or selfless, but in the actions or inactions that create conflict. Then again, conflict is not necessarily a negative, so how is it that we can conclude what sin is, for anyone but ourselves. There is also a necessity to define categories, other than opposites. The undefined, the ignorant or the scapegoat.

Too often do I define sin for others, and for myself, rather than recognizing that there is a far greater evil or sin, in condemning to judgement, when I am ill suited for such a task. Perhaps one day, I could recognize that the compassionate actions of others outweighs any notions of sin.

[Why are you LDS?]

I was born LDS, grew up LDS, so despite my periods of long term absence, I still believe being LDS makes more sense than any other religion, even with its own bizarre pecularities.

[PDA at church]

Mind your own business.

[He told me I couldn't do it!]

Skydiving is true freedom.

I have done it a few times and it was amazing to see what we take for granted is actually of little importance. Its similar to watching the cars and buildings out the window as the airplane is about to land, but the difference is your field of view and the intensity of the experience. I had a few family members berate me for being thoughtless, as they assumed, wrongly, that driving everyday to work was more safe.

For most people, it will be one of the most memorable moments of their life. Do it.

[Does Santa diminish Christ from Christmas?]

You can thank Cocoa-Cola for our modern Santa and the brilliant idea to replace a pagan ritual with a celebration of Christ's birth, months before it actually should be celebrated.

Celebrate as you wish, because this is probably one of the only real family days that is considered of importance in our modern world.

[The Parable of the Cheap Watch]

I learned that you like watches and you are unsure that you have treated your family correctly.

You also reminded me that I treat people in a short, sarcastic manner, but I don't assume that their flaws are greater than mine, because I only know mine and believe me, I treat myself worse than other people. I suppose its a flaw of mine, that I would appear not to care, in order to hide the fact that I care very much because I have been taught that many don't care which makes my sense of order, easily preyed upon.