Ktbee

One more thought...when it comes to taking on the unplesant tasks (such as cleaning).....I always tell my kids to "do it until you love it.".

One thing I know for sure.........our spirits cannot rest when surrounded in chaos. Look at the temple.....there is a reason The House of The Lord is kept uncluttered, simple and clean. One more thought....if money is the lesser of the two issues, ask her if it would be helpful for her if you paid for a housekeeper once a week. But make the service conditional upon the family keeping the house picked up during the week. You know..maintain the home......do fewer chores. Just throwing out ideas. Oh, and praise, praise, praise 10:1 for every corrective comment you make. Praise praise praise Own the issue you have with the behavior Ask for what you need Express why you need it Express positive rewards for the new behavior Express negative consequences for continued behavior Listen to response and thank, thank, thank. Follow through

I'm new to this forum and would like to say that I commend You for taking action immediately when your conscience told you to. To take responsibility for such actions, not knowing the outcome, well...that takes an incredible amount of courage! Also, yep, you might consider getting some objective help with a professional. Seems like you might be seeking intimacy through sex with other men. it takes two people in a marriage to be intimate. You husband needs to be responsible for his role in this situation. Perhaps you feel you are not enough just the way you are, so maybe you shoud delve deeper into what you are trying to supress or satisfy.....chances are high you don't feel worthy of love . One more thought... It's a powerful emotion....feeling desirable and sexy....especially after playing the role of wife and mommy for so long. That could be a project between husband and wife. You can be that sexy lady for your husband, and he can encourage you. Actually, you really might surprise each other. So what if he's not expressive. It's probably not a personality flaw....expression is learned.....help him to understand this and it takes the pressure off of him to change who he is . I believe a good man who is invested in a relationship will want to please and make his wife happy. Like our friends comment above.....men Need clear and respectful direction and communication. Beware, however, if you have to say it more than twice in a day....it's nagging. you are loved, you are loved, you are loved, hang in there!