JosephP
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Posts posted by JosephP
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So I'm guessing that means that any notes you made in your downloaded scriptures were lost. Is this correct?
No, all my highlights, notes, etc remained in tact after removing the old scriptures, rebooting and then reinstalling all the scriptures and study guides.
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I use the iPhone app and prefer it to the printed version. I feel bad because my printed scriptures were a gift and it seems somehow thoughtless to leave them unused on the shelf for month after month.
Nothing can compare with having access to the scriptures anytime/anywhere. Now if only I could access them through a voice question to Siri!:)
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My thoughts are that sleeping and dreaming becomes a matter of willing it to occur if you so desire. Meaning, you aren't beholden to weakness but I see no reason why you would be restricted in doing things that aren't evil.
Regards,
Finrock
I'll go with that as a good way to look at it. I was also wondering if any authorities had ever addressed it or even speculated on it.
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Anyone have any opinion or sources on if sleep and dreaming continue after we are resurrected. I know there is little purpose to speculating on these kind of "mechanics of heaven" questions, but it's a curiosity.
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My take on this is from a historical perspective. In every historical event there is evidence that seems to contradict the generally accepted understanding of the event. When there are no contradictions most historians assume the record has been doctored to make everything fall in line with the official version of events. The fact that there are contradictions in church history is very comforting to me, as someone with an above average knowledge of history.
Perhaps a better place to put your doubts and wonderingly is trying to imagine another explanation for the existence of the Book of Mormon. Every alternate explanation is not only full of far more contradictions, but contain complete fabrications and logical fallacies.
But a testimony is not based on intellectual understanding alone. Pray about it, read it, and most importantly live its precepts. From the witness of the Holy Spirit you'll gain a testimony that is unshaken by a comment in a journal almost two centuries ago.
Besides, can we really fault Joseph for being amazed at the success of the church and the loyalty of the members? Is it really so disturbing to know he felt a bit too much pride in seeing what his role as God's instrument had accomplished? Of all his other admitted human faults, this one seems pretty understandable.
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Tell me this: would a single man be uncomfortable sharing a holiday meal with a family he barely knows (especially considering the meal will most likely be a bit chaotic)? What about going to a large family gathering with a family in his ward?
I spent thanksgiving with a large family where I only knew the host and hostess. It was awkward but I made the best of it. It was better than being alone.
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I know how you feel. I'm a SA in a "family church". Never married, however I do have an adult daughter who is not active.
I just went to our Christmas dinner last week. Did someone ask me to sit with them? No, I went and sat myself down at a table and started talking. I'm not a hugely outgoing person, but I push myself.
I'm not sure why your HT or priesthood members have not befriended you?
I say, suck it up buttercup! The Lord needs you and you are giving up. You say you have a testimony, if you do, then you should be attending church to develope your relationship with the Lord.
It was tough for me when my daughter decided not to go to church when she was in YW. Every time a talk by a YW or musical number by YW was happening, I thought my heart could break no more and I never wanted to go back to church. I was sad beyond measure. I sucked it up and went anyways.
Sometimes I feel included, sometimes I don't. These are people, not my Savior or my Heavenly Father. I always feel included when I remember who I am, where I came from, and where I'm going.
Good luck.
Good response, right on target. Sadly I just don't have any "suck it up" left in me. That's what's so different. I know all the right things I should be doing, but my prayers are unfeeling mumblings, my scripture reading is just my mind drifting while waiting for the last verse to finally get there. In still glad to be of service, but not a lot of people call me and last summer I embarrassed myself telling people I was available if they needed anything.
At some point you just have to admit that all you're doing isn't working, and trying to convince myself to do more of the same failed behavior isn't convincing me.
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Maybe meds to get you through this rough spot are in order, self-help notwithstanding. You sound very severely depressed to me and I know when I'm in a deep depression, my thinking is altered and it's hard to see anything but my despair.
I am considering that, but to me antidepressants are bottled apathy. If I'm hoping for anything it's to get angry enough to motivate myself to improve. I'm not sure the dulling effect of drugs will do more than make the pain more tolerable. I'm still working, laughing with coworkers, and all the things required of me. It's the inner peace, the spirituality and hope that's been shattered. I don't think there's a pill for that. Thanks for the suggestion.
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There is something about life that doing the right thing is seldom the easiest or the funnest thing. There is a saying in Islam - "If the mountain will not come to Mohammad; then Mohammad must go to the mountain.
I think it is really swell that you have decided to change your life to accommodate your predicament - But I think you are changing something that will make your predicament worse - not better.
The Traveler
I did not mean to sound like I think this will fix anything, quite the opposite. It's consciously giving into despair. I make no pretense of it, I've lost hope, not found a better way.
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I'm sorry you felt humiliated. I wonder if there isn't something else going on here. We had a number of single adults at our party (me included). Some sat with each other, others sat with families, either because they knew them or that's where there was a place at the table.
Do you have children? Even though my son is an adult, I can contribute to discussions about children, having raised one. Sometimes the young folks just need to hear that the kids will turn out alright and that they don't have a budding serial killer just because one child likes to bash his siblings on the head. Can you contribute to the discussions as the voice of wisdom?
I wonder if it is different for men than women? I wish there were more single, older men in my ward, but there aren't. I have become friends with a couple of families and it seems very comfortable, but again, maybe with men it's different.
I wish you luck. It's not easy being single in the Church, but it doesn't have to be soul-crushing either.
Yes it is different for men than women, just as it is different for singles with children and siblings than those of us completely alone. I understand the hesitation to befriend single men and I certainly don't blame anyone. But that understanding doesn't help with the endless day after day of isolation.
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Hey Joseph,
Last Saturday was our ward Christmas party. Earlier that day my wife and I argued about expectations for the kids, (I think hers are unreasonably too high and she thinks mine are too low) and she basically wouldn’t listen to me and told me to leave the kitchen. Unable to vent my frustrations and also being fed up with the lack of love, kindness, forgiveness in the home it just cooked in me all day long. I found myself listening to the Christmas program till I was overwhelmed with anger and frustration. All the love and perfect families in the ward and blah blah blah. I left church without telling my wife and wandered 6 miles in flip flops to the beach where I crashed in front of a hotel on a recliner. I got drenched by a passing rain cloud and sat there shivering looking at the stars wondering what it would be like to see them from underneath the waves. I contemplated ending my life and ignored the texts and calls that were coming to me from my family. I knew I couldn’t do that since I’m all my four kids have and walked 6 miles back to my house with sprained and blistered feet. I swore I wasn’t going to church that I was done. What’s the point of going to Church when no one cares to apply it in their life?
When I woke up I had one word going thru my mind and it was Duty. I remembered something said in conference about how ” I dreamt that life was joy and woke and found that life was duty. I did my duty and found that duty was joy”.
I got up early and got the kids ready for Church, attended all my meetings and even went to choir practice.
Guess what..life still sucks right now. But I’m going to focus on Duty. If there is no joy in this life perhaps I can wait for joy in another life.
Sincerely ..a married guy who often feels he would be happier alone
Yeah, I understand Duty, I come from a background where duty first was reality. But so is honor, and I feel dishonest in parroting back lessons of love and togetherness to my home teaching families from a heart filled with anger and bitterness. In fact it was knowing that I was scheduled to meet with a home teaching family after church Sunday that made me realize I can't keep pretending I feel the love. I sent a substitute.
Like I said, its not my testimony. You want an inspiring talk on the restoration, I can do that. Speak on happy loving families, the words would choke in my throat right now.
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I wish you all the best Joseph. Over the last several years I have learned that spiritual journeys are very individual. The church is there to assist on that road, but that it does not work for everyone seems to also be true. May you find happiness, peace, and joy.
-RM
I don't imagine my situation will be permanent. There's some hope left I guess, I can believe that some day it will change.
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The absence of hope is called despair. Despair is the victory slogan of Satan.
Nobody on this forum can change your situation and so I also wouldn't pretend to give you advise on how to do something I have no control or power over. The one thing that I will do though is pray that you can overcome the feelings of despair because that is the shackles that can alter your spirit's personality and desire permanently. Through Christ we can overcome the world. That doesn't mean that we will be victorious necessarily in this life but that in the end we will win. If one continues to desire the things that they desired before even coming here, such as family and being part of the Celestial family then God will give them what they want. Despair changes what a person wants whereas hope keeps the righteous desires unchanged. This is why we hope all things. Maintaining hope supersedes whether a person is successful in completing the task or not as God judges us based on the desires of our heart.
Lucifer was upset that he couldn't have what he thought he deserved at that moment in the war in Heaven. The anger and despair he had for not getting something he thought he should get right then and there destroyed his chances of ever getting it in the future. He wants to pass on that same sorrow to everyone in the world. He does this in different ways to everyone. Some people it is by loneliness, others it is by same sex attraction, others it is by some horrible disease, etc. We all face it in different ways.
The Celestial Kingdom is filled with people who can enjoy the success of others. The way our joy can be eternal is that it can be done vicariously. If one truly loves their neighbor as their self, then their successes will also be enjoyed as if it is their own. That is why that is the greatest (and one of the most difficult) commandments. We should be happy for anyone's success around us and realize that it is to our blessing as well. We are not diminished in any way if someone around us is successful. If anything it bolsters our blessings and we can share in it.
I did not get married until a later age, later than average because I focused on my education. I have a glimpse of what you are going through. But I am glad I didn't shun the idea completely that I could someday get married and have a family. I would have turned down my future husband when he asked me to help him with some of his homework but maintaining some hope about family I realized his request wasn't really about homework.
Our future (meaning the result after the second estate is completed), to a great part, is a self fulfilling prophesy.
Thanks, your response was 100% related to what I'm experiencing. It's what I needed to hear. I don't imagine my situation is permanent. But right now I just can't see past the pain.
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Sounds like you are going to Church for all the wrong reasons, and then blaming those who attend for not only being happy, but for intentionally mocking you.
You need to quit acting the victim here. You are not a victim. Nor are the ward members intentionally trying to make you miserable. Go visit a therapist for the depression you obviously have. Then take charge of your life, accept your current situation, and focus on the things you CAN change right now: such as developing talents, getting involved in some classes or activities unrelated to the church, where you can meet people your own age and have fun, etc.
Yup, no doubt I agreed with you for a long time. I've been Mr. Smiling Single Adult Rep, "let's all take personal responsibility and get involved" for two years now. After my life entered a new phase of misery I'm just done pretending the happy "in God's time" attitude.
. I can assure you, the loss of hope isn't a choice, nor is it victim mentality. If my situation is offensive to you, perhaps its due to your lack of understanding, or my inability to explain. I appreciate you're attempt to help, but from my perspective you're off the mark. I've got a background in behavior modification and have tried all the standard self help routines.
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It seems like you haven't made a bond with any of the families there. My hope was that one family - or two or three - will adopt you as the favorite uncle. Then it won't be that you're going to feel like the creepy guy who is always inserting yourself in somebody's table but that you'd be the uncle that everybody is fighting over who gets to have you at their table. Your ward sounds cliquish!
I have cousins....
That would be the ideal. There are some couples my own age I associate with, but no young families with kids. This year the handful of people I know didn't attend the party. It was an especially creepy feeling standing by myself for fifteen minutes before asking someone if I could join them. I simply won't do that again.
Of course this isn't about social interaction. It's about feeling real pain and isolation during talks and lessons. Last Sunday I simply hid out on my iPhone during church. Felt like a real hypocrite, that's when I knew I can't keep doing this.
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Would it help if you think of the entire Ward as your family? That would be the coolest thing - as a single Adult, you can join any of the families in the ward you like to join. I could sure use some help with mine.
I've done that, works fairly well until you realize you've become the creepy guy trying to find someone to sit next to a the Christmas party. It's become easier to just not go. I felt humiliatingly ignored at this years party. I'm not sure why so many people think that after years of trying to reach out, to fit in, the failure rests with me that I'm not fellowshipped.
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I understand your loneliness and what it means to be single in this church. What I have never understood is the willingness to break covenants because of the feelings of loneliness. I hope things get better for you.
Not taking the sacrament is an major issue for me to be sure. I'm not sure what other covenant you're referring to. I don't think I can fully express how painful the experience is, to dismiss it as feeling lonely leads me to believe I haven't adequately expressed what it is like.
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I've asked to be released from my callings and plan not to attend meetings. I know the church is true, that God is God and all the rest. It's just that in my loneliness I can't keep sitting there listening to talks and lessons about loving families, supporting your spouse, and all of that. I despise being a single adult in a family church. Way too old for YSA. Most other SA I know have children, siblings, etc. who are members. I'm alone in this and I'm tired of being the outsider both inside the church and out. I'm tired of being rejected by women I meet for being LDS, and I've exhausted the local area of single sisters. My last long distance relationship was a disaster and I won't ever attempt that again.
I know all about "in God's time" but it falls like empty platitudes on me now. I'm hurt, angry and simply unwilling to listen to happy families telling happy family stories. It mocks my pain and isolation.
Again, its not about losing faith, it is simply the complete absence of any hope. I know it appears I am giving up, but inside it feels like I've just been beaten down.
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Show her you're the man of her dreams by trusting her word, serving The Lord without distractions or expectation of reward. Then come back with faith and hope that she will be receptive to your invitation to begin anew your relationship with her, just as she asked.
That's the man she said she's looking for, and thinks you can be. Go be that man with all sincerity and faithfulness.
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Try saying random words when they hum their random notes, and when they ask you what you're doing you can explain you're singing along.
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Going Wednesday with one of my home teachers.
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Welcome. The best way to get to know everyone I to jump right in.
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I've lived in my place for almost 5 years and I've never had a Home Teaching visit.
This brought to mind a quote from a straight talking member of my bishopric in ward council a couple of months ago, "If you haven't been home taught, you're half the problem!"
When was the last time you invited your home teachers?
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Well, to each their own, but I do pretty good in others homes. For one, they thought of me and invited me over but mainly, they invited me into their home. If there's one thing my old man drilled into my head is to don't ever disrespect the working person, and a person's home. So I'm on my best behavior (as best as it can be) and I tend to watch my mouth a bit more. But I always, always make sure I go with a good and grateful attitude.
In reply to Anatess and you,
Yes I was being tongue in cheek. I'm very grateful for the invitation. I love and respect the couple that invited me. But there is still, of course, that sadness of not having my own family to have Thanksgiving with. Since the break of my engagement this feeling has been heightened and this holiday really accents it.
I'm not a gloomy guy, in fact the more I'm hurt the more jovial I attempt to appear. I don't think anyone is responsible for my entertainment or my happiness. I'm very grateful to be spending thanksgiving with good friends.
Seeking input: "...because he couldn't cope"
in General Discussion
Posted
Withdrew.