illustrator1

Thankyou almom and all the others who have replied to my problem. I felt so grateful and humbled by the words that I have read, that if I continue to love the Lord and seek to be a righteous woman that one day my son will love me as much as I love him.Last month I visited the temple and stayed for a few days. The peace and tranquility was wonderful, and it also helped that the summer sunshine was gorgous and I was with friends who I love and who love me. I came home to my house, and once again the abuse began. The truth is that I turned to this web site in absolute desperation feeling too that I wanted to run away and hide. Instead thanks to some very kind new friends I can try to continue on with my life and hope that in time my son will see what he was doing was wrong. Thankyou for the suggestion of using my home teachers to change the locks on my house. I hadn't thought of that, but I will do it. Sometimes prayers can be answered in the most mysterious of ways! I am so glad for this web site! Thankyou almom for your time and effort. Love Hannah2

Hi! Almom, Thankyou for your helpful comments. My son lives very close to me. about ten minutes walk away. I was grateful for your comment to let Heavenly Father handle him. I have seriously wondered whether I have somehow contributed to this situation, by not standing up to my son more. I hate confrontation, and he knows it. I do feel better for having brought it out into the open and having shared it with someone. Thankyou once again for your advice. Hannah2

Thankyou for those people who replied to my topic. I have felt so desperate to know what to do in this situation. My mother (who is 87 years old and a very strong lady) has been telling me much the same thing, but as she wasn't a member of the church I was worried that I was shirking my duty as his mother.My son doesn't live with me but he has harassed me by calling around every day. When his Dad was alive he did not break the rules, we never smoked ourselves (my husband had cancer and couldn't breathe) so he was asked to smoke on the back doorstep. After my husband died he would walk into the house with the lit cigarette hanging from his mouth. Then about a year ago the abuse began. It was a gradual thing, firstly just the occasional bad tempered remark, then came the insults and the abuse grew in strength as the weeks went by. What I cannot understand is what I did to precipitate this but I cannot put my finger on it. I know that he has friends who do smoke wacky baccy and take other drugs, but my son always said he was clean. Yet there are times when he has come into my house and gone through the food cupboards like a tornado and binged on platefuls of food. I never minded feeding him, even though I do struggle on a widows pension. I once jokingly said to him, if he was a husband I would have sought a divorce, but how do you divorce a son who is your youngest? My other grown children are abroad. There are no other relatives apart from my mother who lives in her own home close by. Maybe one day I will come to understand why this is happening but right now it just breaks my heart

My heart goes out to you because I know how lonely it can be to cope with such a problem on your own. I know of a sister within the church who fulfilled her callings and raised her two children, all the time trying to cope with her husband cross dressing in female clotheing and finally admitting that he felt he wanted to be a woman. Finally she was unable to cope with it anymore and went to her Bishop. Her husband finally decided to come out and the lid was off the secrecy. He since has consulted his doctors and had the sex change operation. You stated at the beginning that your husband had a problem and that truly is the truth. he is the one that has to admit that he has a problem. No-one can help him to overcome his addiction, until he wants to help himself and seek the help that is out there. If you are hurting because of this situation, and he is not addressing your pain and concern, he is shutting off your relationship with him.I pray that you will finally find a solution to this pain you are feeling. I am a 56 year old grandmother and I feel that you need someone to be kind to you. You are not alone. Try talking to him and make him aware of how he is hurting you. If he does not want to listen to your concerns, or has no compassion for your pain, you need to ask yourself if you want to go on hurting. Love is a two way street. May God be with you. Take courage from a friend.xxxxx talk to your bishop as soon as you can

It is hard to know where to begin to describe how I feel. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. I try every day to live as a committed Christian. I believe in and love Jesus Christ with all my heart, but I am not a fanatical evangelist trying to convert other people.My youngest son (aged 31) does not attend church and says that he does not believe in God which is his choice, of course! He does not live with me,but now I come to the point. Three years ago I was widowed, my husband was a good and kind man with a love for our church. My son has become increasingly controlling and psychologically abusive. He curses me, using the most profane language, and gets very nasty and aggressive. He humiliates me in front of friends and on occasions when we have attended the supermarket together, he takes things out of the shopping cart telling anyone at the top of his voice that I am a useless shopper and wasteful with my own money and I am nothing but a so-and-so idiot. His abuse has escalated recently with him telling a visitor that I owed thousands of pounds to a bank. This was a blatant lie, and I was so shocked and hurt because he seemed to want to hurt me. On the one hand my faith teaches me that I should be a loving mother who should never give up on her children, but how do I continue to cope with a son who does not seem to respect me, although on some level I think he loves me. I live on a very low income, being on a widows pension, (I am 56 years old), yet he is always demanding money and never returns the favour. Does anyone know what I should do? I must also add, that this has been getting increasingly worse over the years.