lagarthaaz
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Posts posted by lagarthaaz
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They have an amazing ability to put in motherhood / marriage / homemaking into it, whether it has anything to do with the topic. Believe me.
You haven't had a lesson where teachers talk about something different? There are also weeks where the RS Presidency choose and which they don't use the manual.
Sometimes. We have the '5th Sunday' lessons that are usually based on Gen. Conference talks. Last Sunday we had a lesson devoted entirely to Visiting Teaching - and I don't think motherhood came up even once.
Of course women with children might use their personal experiences to explain concepts from the lesson materials, but I also hear single, unmarried, divorced, single parent, foster parents, widowed, childless and married women do the same.
Why would you expect anything different? If you've ever taught a class at church, have you used your personal experience or testimony to highlight how we can apply a certain principle to our lives?
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Current lesson manual - not many lessons focus solely on 'being a wife and mother'.
Chapter 1 Learning by Faith
Chapter 2 Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost
Chapter 3 Lifelong Conversion: Continuing to Advance in the Principles of Truth
Chapter 4 Strengthened by the Power of the Holy Ghost
Chapter 5 The Grand Destiny of the Faithful
Chapter 6 Becoming Perfect before the Lord: “A Little Better Day by Day”
Chapter 7 Faithfulness in Times of Trial: “From the Shadows into the Glorious Sunshine”
Chapter 8 “Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart”
Chapter 9 Sacred Family Relationships
Chapter 10 “Come into the Temples”
Chapter 11 “I Seek Not Mine Own Will, but the Will of the Father”
Chapter 12 Tithing, a Law for Our Protection and Advancement
Chapter 13 Relief Society: True Charity and Pure Religion
Chapter 14 “With God All Things Are Possible”
Chapter 15 Faithful, Energetic Service in the Kingdom of God
Chapter 16 “That We May Become One” L
Chapter 17 Priesthood—“for the Salvation of the Human Family”
Chapter 18 Church Leadership and Selfless Service
Chapter 19 Missionary Work: “To Reach Every Human Heart”
Chapter 20 The Kingdom of God Moves Forward
Chapter 21 Loving God More Than We Love the World
Chapter 22 Doing Good to Others
Chapter 23 The Prophet Joseph Smith
Chapter 24 Reflections on the Mission of Jesus Christ
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Well, I've never been taught anything I could use in the real world, like education, job help, basic skills, etc. in RS. All of it is about motherhood and being a wife. It makes me not want to go to a family ward when I am too old for the singles ward. It would be too hard for me. I couldn't be able to take being infantisized by the older ladies cause I am not married, either.
Really? I lived as a single parent in the church for many years so I know what that feeling of separateness from the mainstream is like. I still feel it sometimes, but it's more about 'me' and who I am (I have found it hard to socialize in group situations since I was a child). As a young woman who came from a very troubled, poverty-stricken and dysfunctional family background, I had little in the way of self-esteem, education or life-skills when I joined the church.
I can honestly say it was Relief Society lessons that planted the seeds of self-improvement and gave me the strength to get out of an abusive marriage, get an education, to consider myself a worthwhile daughter of God, to find myself in serving others, and to improve myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. And yes, on a domestic level, it also helped me to be a better mother and wife and equipped me with some skills to run an orderly, loving home in my second marriage for the last fourteen years. All of these things have also helped me to help others.
And how many times do the lessons remind us as women that we should improve and equip ourselves with education and life-skills, for both self-improvement and to be able to provide for ourselves and any children should the need arise?
Having said all that, it's not the women in RS who made the difference, since I still suffer from 'otherness' syndrome and I find most women in RS have their established friendship groups of which I am not a part. But as for the lessons from the manual, I certainly read them myself and while some focus on the 'motherhood' topics, most are about improving ourselves spiritually.
Just as in any class in church, we often only get out of it what we put in - and that includes reading and studying the lesson materials ourselves and applying it to our individual circumstances in life.
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Sounds like your boy needs a reality check - he needs a reminder that there can be serious consequences for his actions. He's only 12 - so I would be taking control of this situation sooner rather than later.
Is he using foul language to show off to other boys and/or to harass the girls at school? If so he probably won't care that the 'good kids' don't want to be his friends anymore. He probably will care though, if girls or boys he likes tell him he's just embarrassing himself and not impressing anyone.
Has he used sexually explicit language towards the girls at his school? I would be taking his dirty mouth down to the principal's office to to remind him of the school's anti-bullying and harassment policies. Remind him that there can be serious consequences for using sexually explicit language towards other students. After that, and with the principal's encouragement, I'd be getting him to apologize individually to any kid he has upset or offended with demeaning or explicit language.
Does the school have a school based police officer who can give him a frank talking to about the consequences of sexual comments towards others at school and in the workplace. Let him know that if he were to speak this way in a place of employment, he could lose his job. If he keeps it up at school, he could get suspended.
At home, I'd be refusing him internet access unless it's in a public area of the house and only related to his schoolwork. I'd also refuse to let him talk on the phone or play any video games until I saw a change in his behavior. Whatever it is he cares about - don't let him have it until he shows he's responsible with his language again.
If he's getting the bad language from electronic sources, you can control that. If it's from hanging around other kids who do the same, I'd also limit his out-of-school time with them.
It won't take long before he makes the connection: potty mouth = bad consequences and deprivation / nice mouth = respect from family/friends and access to fun stuff.
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He wasn't sealed to me. :)
They weren't malicious or incompetent at all, of course. They just didn't know what to do with me. And that's the fear I have now if I return.
That's why you have to be pro-active in introducing yourself to the bishop, letting him know your needs, and looking around for activities you can be involved in so you can hopefully form some good friendships.
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is this pairing off still something they do? I was never warned about that...
It's not 'pairing off' in the formal sense, someone probably just introduced two guys who could keep each other company at church and who could possibly become friends.
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No, that was never presented as an option. The bishop paired me off with another single man my age who had just gone through a painful divorce. He was a lovely person, but he had a strong negative gravity field around anything connected to marriage, women, or singles. One home teacher asked me about going to a YSA ward, but when he learned I was in my 30s he just changed the conversation. Until this very day, I assumed all LDS singles fell into three categories: YSA, midsingles, and "well, wait and see what happens in the next life."
Didn't even know that there were Single Adult groups for various ages. Well, more data points as I decide next steps.
Thanks very much for your comments and for the comments from others. I'm very grateful.
You're welcome. I'm not sure why you weren't told there is life after 30 in the LDS singles world
If no-one can help put you in touch with the SA group in your area (try your bishop too, he should have access to that information), then you can try a facebook search. Type in the search box the name of your area and "LDS singles". I just took a quick look (my friend is a SA Rep who organises activities and such) and there are dozens of groups. There are groups that are age specific too - eg. "45-60" or whatever. -
still doesn't sound like my personal cup of tea-thankfully I wouldn't have to since, as I said no one here is close to my age that would be in that...
sometimes the world throws me a bone
What is your personal cup of tea then?
What generally happens here when there aren't many singles in a ward (not sure about your area, but I imagine it might be the same), is that people from several wards in a stake will get together for activities.
Ask around at church - I bet someone can point you in the right direction to a YSA or SA Rep who can let you know what's going on in your area.
You might be surprised at the diversity of people you'll meet in the church who are single in all adult age groups - never marrieds, divorced, commitment phobic, single parents, gay (but celibate), social butterflies, introverts and loners and extroverts. We are all just human beings at the end of the day (single or married), doing our best to live the gospel.
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I LOVE roundabouts. Having experienced both, I do prefer the roundabouts. I've lived in the US (east coast) and found the four way stops tedious, but kind of nice as far as driver manners go. In Australia where roundabouts are common, it's so much easier to navigate through traffic. We have them everywhere from small suburban streets to large busy 3 lane roads. I drive through quite a few of them every day on my way to and from work and have not witnessed an accident in many years involving a roundabout. In fact most accidents are in the straight lanes on the freeway or side roads.
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Mid singles is considered up to age 45. I guess those of us over that are just called "old" singles.
And yes I realize I just left myself open to the comments. :)
:)
Could be worse. I had a short-lived marriage when I was younger that ended when I was 24 . Because I was divorced and had a child, I was not allowed to attend any YSA activities (talk about feeling like you have the stigma of a scarlet woman on your back!) and instead was relegated to the "Old Singles" :)
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Didn't anyone introduce you to the LDS Single Adults group in your area after you got baptized? You may or may not meet a special someone that way, but you will certainly have the opportunity to make new friends and get involved in social activities with people from all walks of life. Our SA group here is very active (although not many of them seem to pair up) but they really enjoy each other's company and have formed some very strong friendships. I envy the fun they have sometimes! They go out dancing, dining, to the movies, mountain climbing, travelling to various destinations, take cruises, play sports and attend church activities together. They also hold Family Home Evening in their homes on a rotational basis. Not sure how it is in your area, but here we certainly have an abundance of spiritual, intelligent women who are beautiful both inside and out but there not enough men in their age bracket. I don't think you will find that you will be looked upon as 'weird' for being a single man if you get involved with the Single Adults in your area. If you go into it looking to increase your social circle rather than soley to find a marriage partner, I think you will open up a whole world of possibilities :)
I live in a very mixed ward, and we have quite a few single people in their 40's to 60's, as well as many single parent families. There are also a few part-member families (like mine) and I do sometimes get people looking at me and thinking 'where's her old man?' :) You just have to treat possibly judgemental looks or comments like water off a duck's back. It's probably more about curiousity than judgement. Our Relief Society Pres is married to a non-member and there are any number of single people serving in callings. There is a rule in Primary that men can't teach little children on their own, but we actually have a class of five year olds who are taught by two men from different families, so it all works out.
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Welcome :) I tend to read more than I post too. Hope you find some good discussions to participate in :)
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Hi Abe,
Check your email here.
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Yeah, expect to be disappointed.
Because your expectation will not be met.
Thank you for the clarification.
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I thought it was rather clear: If you are expecting people to check your profile before responding to you or making references to you expect to be disappointed. Most people will not do so.
Let me know what it is exactly you are having trouble understanding.
I don't 'expect' anyone to check my profile - unless they want to refer to my gender.
How is that even worth being 'disappointed' by?
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If you are expecting everyone to check your profile before responding to you, prepare for disappointment. Of course, she wasn't responding to you, so I'd be checking your profile before referencing you. I'd still prepare for disappointment.
And your point?
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For what it is worth - every time that a missionary is hurt or killed while on a mission, the LDS News comments on it.
Well, they didn't this time. This latest missionary death is one that has not yet been reported on lds.newsroom - though I personally have now read at least 3 reports from Mexican newspapers and his obituary has now been published. I'm sure there are reasons for this - one of which you mentioned might be privacy for the bereaved family of the missionary.
When you all (generic You) post it here on the forum and cite lay news sources, I check on lds.org.news. to verify that it actually happened. Sorry, but lay newspapers reporting about our LDS Missionaries just isn't proof enough for me. There has been absolutely NO mention of this missionary. The ONLY mention of him is from an anti-Mormon forum.
Again, you are wrong about that. He did exist, he did die recently on his mission in Mexico. The church has chosen NOT to report on it . He IS being buried this Friday: On-line Obituary For Peter Allen Maughan
His parents no doubt want him remembered for the good that he did - see link above that they have chosen to share with the public.
Until that day - when it is officially released - it is not for us to mish-mash and speculate about. Seems to me that would just be considered Rumor Mongering. Especially when this info is coming from an anti site.
Rumour-mongering - I think not. Any church member is genuinely concerned and saddened when we lose one of our young missionaries. We want to know because we care and we all know and love young people who are serving in the field, not because we are interested in 'rumours'. We also have a right to information about unsafe areas for our missionaries. Like many people I too have been concerned about the FACT that we have now lost ELEVEN missionaries this year alone - it's unusual in comparison to other years and causes a little anxiety. Those feelings are based on concern and sorrow, and are not about wanting to spread 'rumours'.
Basically, the "Rule of Thumb" is: To back up your statement, opinion, information - link your sources. If the link is from an objectionable site, Anti-Mormon site, and/or has foul language and/or graphic pictures - then keep those statements, opinions and information to yourself and off of this forum.
Done. No links to anti-sites, or graphic primary sources in the form of newspapers.
I am NOT a moderator of this forum - I am just a run-of-the-mill 61 year old female member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and of this forum. Quite frankly I tire of the rumors that have been passing for truth. I AM a moderator of what I read and what I choose to post about.
As am I - and anyone else who reads on lds forums. For example, I think making jokes that compare sacred things like scriptures, prophets and missionaries with 'zombies' is not at all funny - in fact I find it crude and disrespectful. I also don't think it's funny to joke about violent acts like cutting off heads 'with a machete', shooting the 'walking dead' with 'heads shots' and posting images that depict hanging and violence (all sounds a bit 'R' rated to me), - so if I don't like it, I don't join in. We all moderate in our own way - you found the 'zombie' thread amusing - I didn't. You found this topic that started out as simply someone's concerned query about the loss of a missionary as 'rumour-mongering' - I didn't.
It'd be a boring world if we all agreed.
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Ok, first, I use a generic he whenever someone has an ambiguous user name. And second, I responded to the person I wanted to respond to. Slamjet asked for sources and I informed slamjet that it wouldn't be appropriate to link them since you said they were graphic.
I'm pretty sure my profile states I'm a woman.
I would never link to graphic images/articles in a public forum and 99% of the time I wouldn't share them privately either.
And PS. I'm sorry if my previous post came across a bit snappy towards you, I misread the meaning of your post to someone else.
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And then again if they aren't appropriate to provide publicly, they aren't appropriate to provide in a private message either.
Agreed - the only reason I offered them up is because someone asked for 'sources' (which implies I was repeating hearsay rather than something I read in a newspaper report). I declined to make said sources public on this forum for obvious reasons.
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Hang on. If the links are as graphic as he is saying, we don't want them linked to here.
"He" - is that me you are referring to?
I am a "she".
And it is ok to reply to "me" instead of responding to another person about what I've posted.
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Sources?
If you really want to see them - message me and I'll send you the links. They really aren't appropriate for this forum and I wouldn't want anyone clicking on them unless they really want to see them to find out the truth of what happened.
I personally am sorry I read the Mexican news stories - I did not realize they show graphic images of deceased people.
I am more than happy to pass on the 'SOURCES' - message me if you want them. They are not hard to find.
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I know a missionary couple were killed early last year in Mexico and the particulars on this one can only be found in anti-mormon websites. So I question the veracity of the report without a more independent confirmation.
It's real
I read about the incident in two separate Mexican newspaper stories, complete with a very distressing image of the deceased missionary and a link to his mormon.org profile which has since been taken down. His companion was questioned by police at first, but it seems that it was a suicide and that the missionary left a note for his mother. Hence, no U.S. media coverage... He seemed like a lovely young man on his mormon.org profile. My heartfelt prayers and sympathy go out to the family in their time of loss. -
T All that I have asked for – is a clear statement of a benefit that proponents of homosexuality understand to be necessary to justify for them, me or anyone to support and encourage homosexuality as the only means or even the best means to better society.
The planet currently has over 7 billion human inhabitants, with a capacity for holding between 4 and 16 billion people (dependent upon variables such as how much space each individual needs to live, produce food, etc). Medical advancements and improved nutrition over the past 50 years have seen a rapid increase in the population. Experts in the field are expecting 9.3 billion by the year 2050. We are well on our way to an unsustainable population.
When we're not preserving human life through medical technnology, overpopulation is kept in check by nature - people age, get sick with terminal or other illnesses, and die. What if homosexuality is simply another one (not all) of nature's controls to prevent overpopulation of the human race? That could be viewed as a definite 'benefit' to humanity.
What if it's true, as some have theorized, that same-sex couples may naturally fill the gap for foster and adoptive parents for children that heterosexual couples have abandoned? I have read about documented cases in the animal kingdom where same-sex animal couples have incubated eggs and nurtured young (eg. Roy and Silo, the chinstrap penguins). If it's 'natural' in parts of the animal world, then why not in humans?
I'm just not scientific enough to figure it all out, but these are some of the theories that have crossed my mind when trying to find a beneficial 'reason' why some people are born with same-sex attraction.
Or, living with same-sex attraction could just be as Elder Oaks says, another way to show a person's obedience to gospel principles. The blessings for a faithful, unmarried LDS who keeps his or her covenants (and sexual impulses under control) for a lifetime without the possibility of marriage must surely be untold in the afterlife, no matter what their sexual orientation. The blessings of exaltation are surely, a 'benefit' for anyone.
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Well, if anyone does get to see it and wants to discuss their thoughts... :)
Divine Role of Women
in Relief Society
Posted
Right on, sister.