eastlds1234

Kabayan! :) Thanks for the details- "inactive Mormon with a strong testimony" - is a pretty interesting way to describe your husband. I was going to say- in a relationship , religion wouldn't really play a major role especially if one is indifferent towards his/her religion. I was going to take his inactivity as indifference - but I know that inactivity does not always mean absence of testimony - as in his case. I guess the trickiest and most challenging part in your relationship was to "lose all hope" of what you both wanted. I guess it's what you call an adult compromise. :) But I'm glad it worked out for the both of you. With me and this guy- he's Hindu- and you can just imagine how worlds apart it is from LDS beliefs but we do have similar values. It's also a good thing that he is open to learn what I believe. I'm open to learning more about his religion but converting to Hinduism- that's another story.

The best part of this announcement , when I saw this on Facebook was this: The Young Women organization will now have five board members who live outside of Utah, four internationally. I just thought the mention of "outside of Utah" was pretty funny and interesting. It was as if no leader ever came from outside Utah :)

Thanks, anatess! Based on your reply- I take that - you are LDS now and have kids? Before the kids came- what were the differences that really made an impact on your relationship with your husband?

Great point! It's a much bigger compromise to pick someone based mainly on religion. I know I should choose someone whom I can respect, love and honor.

One of the experiences I have been fortunate to have is exposure to many religions. I am LDS but I went to a Catholic school, had Protestant friends, etc. I can confidently say that staying in the LDS faith is my choice, rather than simple circumstance. If I can give my children the same opportunity to find and discover their own testimony, that will be great. And yes, he's a dry Mormon- he doesn't smoke or drink, is verrrry kind and mature, family oriented, hard working, loving, patient - so so so much better than the LDS guys I dated.

It's like this - from childhood to adulthood , I have been taught in church that one must make marrying in the temple his/her life's goal. I have been hard wired to make THAT my life's goal. So when I have a great guy come around but not LDS, it does feel like I'm settling. And that's not an okay feeling. IDEALLY, I do want to be with someone who shares my faith, my beliefs and my lifestyle. Life's just easier that way. With this non-LDS guy, we may not share the same faith but he- is so so so much more kinder and mature than all the other guys (LDS and non-LDS) that I have dated. My experience with LDS men has not been ideal - as in the example I used at the start of this thread. I would love to meet a great LDS guy but reality bites. The older I get, the narrower the pool of LDS men. Essentially, I would also have to also somehow "settle" with the small pool of LDS guys. Sure, you may say there are lots of fish in the ocean. But I am nowhere close to the ocean. So the dilemma is - to keep looking for the endangered LDS man, or to settle with a Mr. "Good Enough", who may not be LDS but a great guy.

Ah. This number seems to diminish as one advances in age. At 31, in a place where LDS is a minority, it's not that easy to meet these worthy lds men.

There are LDS dating websites, that's how my wife and I met and we lived 1000 miles apart at the time. You're not limited to your local Singles Ward these days. Yep, I tried that. That's how I met the last guy. Perhaps I have to keep trying to get the results I want.

Thanks, everyone. Being LDS isn't just something you put when you fill out a form - it's a lifestyle. I have taken him to church and is interested to know more about what I believe. He's even willing to convert - however - I think if he does it now- I think it will only because of me. He neither smokes nor drinks - at least I don't have to worry about this aspect of his lifestyle. But what concerns me is - not being able to share the same spiritual experiences or talk have gospel discussions with. We may have similar values but we have different beliefs. Ideally, I want a man who will LEAD me spiritually, and not the other way around. But the reality is -- finding that kind of guy has been pretty tough for me. I have prayed about this and fasted about it too. And I feel the answer is- it's only going to work out if he converts not because of me but because he KNOWS for himself that the faith I embrace is true.

My relationship with an LDS man ended. He said he wasn't ready for where our relationship was going and that I deserve someone who can give me 100%. 2 weeks later, he gets back with his girlfriend whom he had a sexual relationship with - the reason why he is currently disfellowshipped. Now I get what he means by someone who can give me 100%. He was never over his past relationship. I just feel bad that I was led on to believe that he was. Now on the blue corner, a kind, sensitive, loving man, who WILL give me 100% - however, is a practicing Hindu. I have apprehensions to start a relationship with him because of our religious differences. We both are active in our own faiths although he has shown interest in learning more about my lds beliefs. But my brother advised me this: Look at the heart, not labels. If he has the same values as us, he WILL join us. The LDS guy may profess the same faith as you, but look at his values, look at his pattern of behavior. The Hindu guy even acts more Christ-like than the LDS guy. So I just wanted to know your thoughts about this. Do you agree than when choosing someone to marry, it :confused:is more important to look at their heart, and not their religion?