Quichey

But I didn't make a careful choice like you so isn't it possible that sometimes it's just not meant to last but rather teach you something? I know I shouldn't quit without feeling like I've done everything I can and without careful prayer but I don't intend on staying miserable my entire life just because my husband doesn't care very much to work on the marriage. I will find peace and happiness without him if divorce is needed and God is loving, knows my heart and will understand.

Bit more of a harsh truth knock on the head I suppose....but you are right. Sometimes I don't actually want to anymore but I made a commitment and I am going to find the energy to carry on.

I agree with you.

Thanks yjacket!

I have come to understand that any daydreaming of my ex does not help. IF we were to divorce though it would NOT be for my ex don't worry. And you're right, my husband will have a different take I'm sure. I feel resent towards him a lot but from now I will work on that and only be kind and loving. I have spent time in counselling whilst I was depressed during our marriage. We could not afford any real marriage counselling/therapy although I hear that where I live the church can offer these services so I could talk to my bishop. I have also purchased the five love languages book someone on this post suggested. Something is telling me I still haven't done enough on my part to feel like I've done everything I could to make it work. Fingers crossed!

At the moment he does not want to divorce, which is largely why I am hesitant to ask for one. He doesn't seem very interested in fixing it though or bothered about how this is all affecting me. He just reads or something and cuts himself off, but that's always been his way. I know men and women are different but I deserve respect and want to be cared about. Maybe I didn't earn his respect.

This debate over whether it would be ok for me to want a divorce has given me some thought. I am going to continue to pray to The Lord for guidance and talk to my husband about these thoughts some more. I think I do need to try some more but I am so exhausted now...I can't keep this up forever. If I feel we need to part it will happen.

Cecelity - thanks for the honest and straight to the point reply. We have spoken about it a lot but you are right, I need to be a better person and become closer to God to feel what the Holy Spirit is guiding me to do. I know how you feel about your husband not fighting for you. That has happened many times in our marriage but I guess I just went with the excuse of he just isn't that kind of guy or it's my fault for being so needy etc...

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years. I am 22 he is 27. We were engaged and married quite quickly and were sealed in the temple 2 months before our second anniversary. We have been apart 4 months during our first year of marriage. The relationship started on lies and WoW problems on his part, we married for the wrong reasons (sexual sin). Two weeks before our wedding we wanted to split but out parents had put so much into the wedding and we felt bad as my mum is quite poor. It was wrong from day 1 and he was distant since we got engaged. First year he never really wanted intimacy and I was all the more clingy, craving his affection. I began to think of my very loving ex boyfriend who was heart broken I moved away and married another man. I finally asked my husband the final time if he truly loved me...he replied no I don't think so. I moved back home the next day but I was too heart broken and needed to instantly be fixed so we got back together as he felt guilty about it. This happened a few more times until it stuck for a few months. When it came to what seemed like I would not see him again I freaked and we got back together. He wanted to as he doesn't need to be in love to be married and just doesn't want to bother with divorce, plus he wants to do his duties as a mormon priesthood holder. Bear in mind he never tried to win me back when I left. Anyways there was a couple more sin issues with WoW leading to loss of his drivers licence. Nothing since that. We pushed our issues aside and were fine for a while apart from me feeling depressed. I got over that mostly and we married in the temple. Now I can't cope with this distant and unloving nature anymore and am thinking about my ex again. He told me recently he doesn't love me as much as I love him and was depressed but then after seeing me cry so much he took it back. I want to divorce really but don't know if it's bad enough for that and I'm scared of the consequences. Any thoughts would be appreciated and feel free to ask questions I've definitely not covered everything!