yoyoteacher

Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing. But I also work as an elementary educator so the primary age range is my specialty. Nursery or YW, on the other hand...those would take some mental adjustment.

Check annnnnd check! Two for two on that statement. Just don't expect me to know the primary songs /o\ I secretly hope that someday I get a primary calling, if only so I can catch up with that missed experience from childhood.

And to be fair, I can see a lot of the argument for not attending. The last time I visited (mid-November) I didn't go, because I was there to visit with my grandmother while she was in the hospital. This time, I am planning on going up the 23rd in the evening and staying until the 1st due to a YSA regional activity in Kansas City on New Year's Eve. So this is smack dab in the middle of my trip, at which point I'll have had ample time to be social and spend time with family for holiday things. I'm blessed to see my family as often as I do, and I know my being gone for a few hours on Sunday will not insult my grandparents in the least. It'll also give me an opportunity to stop by and visit my other grandfather on the way back to their house from church, as he lives on the way. Thanks for the suggestions and tolerating my over-thinking. I do it a lot, mostly because I feel fairly child-like when it comes to the Gospel and often don't know what I'm doing.

I've got a pretty anti-religion family. Even with it being Christmas, it won't make a difference (let's not even add in the fact that it's three hours of meetings). They are skipping a children's choir performance my cousin is playing piano/violin for on Christmas eve, even though the religious message will probably stop at the Christmas story and it should be short. I am in the middle of building my testimony back up after being inactive for seven years, so skipping feels like it would be a step in the wrong direction for me.

Okay, so I'm sure for most people this is a topic that doesn't require any advice to be given. Obviously, I want to attend church meetings over the holidays when I am visiting family. Unfortunately, I'm not sure which branch/ward to attend. Some background information: I am a convert, and the only member in my family, so any church attendance will be on my own to a ward/branch that I've never been to before (yaaaaay being the new person...again). I currently attend the YSA branch in my stake and have come to enjoy the more quiet solitude of the YSA setting. Not that there's anything wrong with family wards and branches, of course, it's just a difference. So here's my question: I know that the stake in which my grandparents live has a YSA branch. Assuming that the YSA branch in the Kansas City stake is holding meetings (ours is not for two weeks, due to it mainly being a school-fed YSA branch), should I attend the YSA to meet others that I may see at future area activities....or go to the family ward that my grandparents would, were they members of the church? I am planning on possibly contacting the branch president or a member on their facebook page to see, I just don't want to look awkward in the process. I'd also like to note for full clarity that the YSA branch has its first meeting at 12:30 pm and the family ward meets at 9 am. There's something about 12:30 that just feels so darn appealing... Anyway, thanks for your help! There are probably a million things that I don't know any better about/haven't been taught/don't realize due to being a convert, so this feels like a constant struggle of double checking to clarify.

The last three weeks have been a slow process, but a blessed one. I feel very grateful that I made the decision I did. And, like many said, the meeting with my branch president was not as bad as I thought it would be. There's a branch temple trip scheduled next Saturday and though I don't feel like I'm spiritually where I want to be, I know I'm on the right path to being there again someday and hope to be able to attend the next trip. My biggest source of insecurity right now is knowing that the tattoos I got over my inactive period are in slightly more visible areas and that if I were to wear a skirt that hits anywhere above the ankle, they would be visible. It's not so much the fact that I can see them or non members can see them, it's the worry that other members will see them and assume the worst of me. One of the major reasons I fell away was the harsh judgement of a peer during a time where I needed compassion and support. I'm scared that someone seeing these tattoos will result in that same judgement when my testimony is still extremely fragile and growing once again. Just thinking about it has me close to tears. I know that my past actions were wrong and am in the midst of repentance, but knowing how humans can react...I think that's really the hardest thing for me to deal with.

You are welcome. It's funny, but I had a lot of "signs" this week. I coach middle school cheerleading, and found out that one of my girls is LDS. She was sharing her thoughts and excitement about general conference during our last football game. Then, while grocery shopping last night, I saw the missionaries in the checkout line just ahead of me. Between these two events, it was a definite nudge that I needed to stop just thinking about church and follow through. The youngest daughter of my adopted LDS family gave her farewell talk prior to leaving for her mission, and it made my heart swell to see her excitement to catch up with me. I'm glad to know that posting is doing more than just helping myself work through everything.

Today was my first day attending church in seven years. I am a convert, and was baptized eleven years ago. I have wanted to come back, but have struggled with personal stubbornness and anxiety of what would happen. I realized that my personal salvation should not be held back by a stubborn decision I made at the age of 20. I had some very positive interactions and was pointed in the direction of the stake YSA branch, which I know will be good for me with where I am in life. I'm just nervous and a little anxious to talk with the branch president. Over the last seven years, I have really messed up. I think I've broken just about every rule that's covered in For the Strength of Youth. I smoked for a few years, but am now smoke free for four months. I drank socially, but have not done so more than four or five times in the past year. I have two tattoos that I got four years ago. I broke the law of chastity with my now ex bf, but have not had a relationship of that nature for 3 years. I felt the blessings of being at church today, and was moved to tears more than once. I'm so scared that even with having changed and never wanting to go back to how things were, and for finally getting to the point spiritually that I yearned to be at church, once I confess to the branch president there will be severe disciplinary consequences. I know there is nothing you of the internet can do. I just don't have any members in my family that I can talk to and I was so anxious even being around my adopted LDS family from my teenage years, and they were just so loving and kind and happy to see me, I didn't feel like today was the right time to confide my shortcomings and seek advice from them. Thank you for listening.