yoyoteacher

I procrastinate on nearly everything. I worry myself into anxious fits over what seems like the smallest thing (ie see all my 'advice board' posts). I have a tendency to over think and question choices that I make. Or, tl;dr. I'm human.

Punishment is for Puritans.

As long as you toss the knitting needles in too, I guess.

Is it too late to officially step away from this thread as the owner? I didn't intend to start any sort of discord, and the last time I'd looked at this page we were sitting at 2 pages of text and now it's up to 8. This is making the non-confrontational tendencies in me really work. Hurrah, anxiety! I've felt the itch to do something with my hands, that's a big part of it. Based on what I'm seeing, I don't think I will be bringing my knitting with me to my small YSA branch.

I think you all scared off AussieMatt in the process. So much for the horsen and the fast boats.

Thanks for the responses, everyone. It pretty well confirmed what I was thinking as far as showing respect goes. As for the phones in singles wards...I remember my first week at the YSA branch I currently attend. The last time I came to church before that the smart phone was not truly a thing, so it was Not Okay in my mind to have my phone out. Everyone in my branch uses the gospel library app to access Sunday school and RS materials. As a teacher for a living, it would distract me if my students had their technology out. But that's a difference in the times we live in, I guess? At least when I'm at church, I ignore everything on my phone except for church related applications.

Wasn't sure quite how to classify this question, but figure this may be the easiest place to do so. What are your thoughts on women crafting (knitting/crocheting/cross stitch, etc) during church services? On the one hand, I have no problem pulling out a project that I am working on while listening to a devotional or even general conference in the comfort of my home or the home of a friend. But on the flipside, if I were attending those things in person I'm not sure I would feel as comfortable. I'll admit, when I was in my teens I would sometimes take projects with me, but now I'm not sure whether I should or not. My reasons fall somewhere between showing respect for the teachers/speakers and so forth (I have seen many a cell-phone-game-playing and in a way I feel that crafting could take your focus away from the spirit), and the appearance it puts off. I don't think I would ever work on something that would require heavy pattern work and referencing, but rather something simple that didn't require anything beyond the movement of hands. So, what say you, oh wise folk of the lds.net forums? Is there anything wrong in working on a craft project while at church?

Well, if we want to get into specifics, Missouri is a pretty awesome place to be! All the church history, beautiful landscape, and so forth. And for the record, I'm a midwest accountant's daughter...no farming here!

That's actually a pretty solid list, eowyn, and are qualities that I am looking for. I would wager to guess that if the OP used those, he would find a mate that won't end up losing interest after the tan fades and he grows older.

On my phone so I can't quote directly. In a way it is, but one look at conservative social policies tells me that it's not a total conservative belief. If anything, I would probably classify myself as libertarian light.

I think it is very possible to have more progressive viewpoints and still be a Latter-day Saint. One of the strongest families I know from growing up are very much in the liberal/democrat/whatever label you want to give it camp. Three of their five children have served or are serving missions. The two eldest girls are married and raising beautiful families of their own. Every single one of them is committed to the gospel and is living it in their daily lives. They are compassionate, giving, empathetic people. I think there's a tendency to focus on specific issues when we generalize what it means to be on the left side of the political spectrum. It's not all pro-choice, pro-equality over here, though I will admit that those are major tenants of the democratic party. There is so much humanitarianism to progressive policies and that's what draws me to the left side just a little bit more. That and, being an educator, the democratic party has a tendency to have an easier-to-swallow education platform. It's not all liberal baby killing, and believe me I had that phrase slung at me in my youth by other church members to know that many people look at it that way. I don't believe I have any right to tell someone how to live their life. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be an example or share my testimony, but I shouldn't resort to something that may come across as high and mighty to the listener either, because that sure as heck won't get them to be receptive to the gospel (ask me how I know).

Oh man, I feel like I'm in a singles ward forum

I feel like you and I have similar stories. I was baptized at 16, which was 11 years ago for me. I was very active for a while and then fell out of practice. I started attending church again in October and have been feeling lots of what I missed while I was inactive. It's night and day the comparison to how I feel in daily life with the gospel versus without. I hope that your reactivation process goes smoothly. Keep us updated :)

I'm 27 and sometimes ask myself the same question but agree with PolarVortex in that 31 is young, as is 27. At this point, I'm doing what I can to learn more about the world, make friends, and making a commitment to living the gospel and moving forward in my commitment to it.

I won't lie, I'm a little jealous of those who grew up in the church when it comes to little things like this. As a convert, I don't have access to this sort of thing. I have one line of family that joined the church in England in the 1850s, came over on an LDS chartered ship with about 500 people, traveled all the way to Winter Quarters, and then ended up not traveling to Utah. They settled in St. Louis instead and fell away from the church. Then again, as a convert I have the blessing of being able to take the names of my direct line ancestors to the temple and I would never trade that feeling for the world. Who knows, maybe I'll have lineage in the future that will request my patriarchal blessing.

I recently was feeling a lot of the things that you are. I joined the church as a teen, was active for four or so years, and then went inactive for seven. I had some pretty strong promptings in my life that I wanted to go back, from one of the girls I coach talking about general conference at a football game to going to pay for groceries and ending up behind the missionaries in line. I think when someone goes inactive, there's a tendency to put Heavenly Father on the metaphorical back burner and to forget about Him and our covenants (that's what I did anyway). Coming back to church, I was greeted in my home ward with open arms and there was a lot of happiness in seeing me back. It's a blessing to know that even though we may grow inactive in applying gospel principles to our lives, the ability to regain the blessings of our covenants never goes inactive, so long as we repent and commit to our end of the deal once again. Got a little preachy there, sorry! If you ever want to talk, know that there are people here who are more than happy to give you support through the process you are currently considering. <3 Oh, and welcome. This place is pretty awesome!

The sister who will be doing the alterations for me thinks that the option I've been eyeing as the easiest to alter may not even NEED alterations. According to the website, for $10 I can get an additional 5 inches of fabric at the bottom, which they recommend for anyone taller than 5'9". I'm only 5'8", but I figure that will give me enough to definitely cover the hemline for the garment bottoms as well as a small amount of fabric to make a slight alteration at the top if necessary. I can't tell you all how much I prayed about this situation for the last two weeks; even just praying about the adjustment to life with garments once I am at that point. I was pointed in the direction of halftee.com, which looks like it will be a very useful site for layering items. I was also pointed to this post, which had some helpful hints. I figure I would share it as well, in case anyone else can make use of it.

Well, today was the big dress shopping day. Because there wasn't much option, we ended up deciding to go with an online order option, which I think will help tremendously. I even talked to her today about needing a cap sleeve and why and she was definitely understanding. So yes, undue stress. So I have a color and a fabric limitation (and I know she would prefer knee length...as would I with it being an early summer wedding), but anything available on the website is okay. Which just means figuring out which of the options there will work. If anyone has any suggestions...here is the website with my options! At this point, this dress is winning out because the front and the sleeves will work and I can order some extra length to make sure the hemline is good, but I know the back may cause problems? I also spoke to my branch president (per the suggestion of my YW leader in my teen years who ended up as a sort of LDS surrogate mother-figure for me), and he's given me the name of an endowed seamstress who has done many alterations in the past. In some ways, I know I made this out to be a big deal, but in others I feel like it's good that I care this much? I want to do the right thing here, and I want to move my life in that right path (even if I'm intimidated beyond belief and afraid that I'm going to fall by the wayside again, but this time with an even deeper covenant having been made). I've got a week to order this dress, hopefully one of them will work for both myself and the seamstress to adjust everything. Thanks again to everyone who had some input.

I am going to preface this by saying that everything I say comes from the point of view of a convert who has fairly non-religious (even borderline anti-religious) family members. Joining the church was a very difficult thing for me to do with that perspective. I would imagine that it would be similar to someone being born in the covenant deciding to leave the church, in that it flies in the face of what your parents believe. I had a very difficult conversation regarding temple marriage with my mother in my teenage years which still causes anxiety in me whenever I think about the future and what will happen if I meet a faithful LDS priesthood holder because I worry that a temple marriage will result in my parents essentially disowning me. It's a very difficult road to go down, seeking truth and (potentially) falling away from the beliefs of your parents. This probably isn't an any better solution, but it sounds like you have not been entirely active in the church for some time, if there isn't contact from RS sisters, etc. If this is the case, why not take your time to search and learn about other religions before requesting to have your name removed? I wouldn't say that I went inactive because I was soul searching for the last seven years, but if I had requested my name be removed and then had to come back and have a thorough interview with a bishop in order to be re-baptised, I'm not sure that I would have gone through the effort. I certainly didn't go inactive because I wanted to live in such a way that the Lord would not approve, but once I gave up my end of the covenants I had made at baptism, it sure made it easy to do those things every now and again. I'm not saying I turned into a sinful heathen 24/7, but I had no moral compass or direction either. If you are feeling a need to truly investigate the church rather than multiple churches now that you're at an older age, why not attend Gospel Principles classes during Sunday school to gain a better understanding of the church and our beliefs? I've been doing a self-study of the course using the gospel library app on my phone and it's been a welcome reminder of things I was taught 11 years ago and had ignored for so long. Believe it or not, sixteen is also a very young age for baptism. And I would wager to say that in ten years I will say 27 is a very young age for a life changing event. You will always grow in knowledge and wisdom as you become older.

I have posted a lot on the advice board, but realized I haven't ever really introduced myself. I am 27, a convert, an elementary teacher, and the only member in my family. I joined the church in 2003 at the age of 16. I went to BYU for three semesters and transferred back to a school in Missouri, where I grew up and currently live. I was inactive for a number of years, but was invited to hear a farewell talk from the youngest daughter of the family with whom I spent many FHE Mondays after joining. She and I were baptized only months apart and I have always felt a sisterly closeness to her. So I went to her talk at the beginning of October and haven't looked back yet. I still struggle with some things, but I feel I am growing so much more spiritually now than I did when I was younger. But I am so excited to continue growing in the gospel.

I don't think it's fair for any commentary to be made about my friendship and the bride. As I said, I was inactive for seven years. I met her during those seven years and was definitely NOT acting in a way that would indicate to her that I am a member of the church or have any unique needs as far as the wedding is concerned. She was joking about stumbling back to her parents house the night of the wedding after partying it up, if that gives you an idea of how far off the straight and narrow I was. So this is 0% about her and how she will respond. Well...maybe a small percent about that. This is more 'I was not doing the things that I should have done (and don't need a reminder of that, thanks) and now I am back on the right path but I have to go back and explain a LOT of things and help people adjust their thoughts of me and who I am as an individual' sort of concern. I don't think she is a bridezilla by any means. I actually really dislike that phrase and its use. I don't think she will value our friendship less because of this fashion concern. But at the same time, I know that every girl has a dream wedding, and I don't know if having all her bridesmaids match is part of that dream. And if it is, is it fair of me to demand that she alters what she wants on her day? Or is it fair to the other bridesmaids who have to pay for their own dresses as well to purchase a modest dress when I'm the only one with this need? And while I agree that modest clothing is available everywhere, I don't think you can say that modest FORMAL wear is available everywhere. I had to special order all of my modest prom dresses following my baptism. Outside of Utah and Idaho and maybe a few more select places, it's not possible to find 100% modest items. Items that aren't strapless sure. Items that aren't mini skirts, yes. But something that would cover past the shoulders...not necessarily. Just because I threw out that idea of waiting (with a note saying that I already knew there would be people who would jump all over me for it) doesn't mean that's what I am planning to do. It also doesn't mean that I was planning on going with a mini skirt strapless combo. But maybe waiting will be what I decide to do because I have a lifetime of preparation to catch up on prior to going and making covenants that shouldn't be taken lightly or entered in to simply because I'm being encouraged to do so by my priesthood leaders. I don't have parents that have been prepping me for this since I was a tiny child. I frankly have no freaking clue what to expect or do and in some ways I'm a nervous wreck over my worthiness based on the things I've done in my past, despite having repented of them and forsaking those sins. And if waiting is what I choose to do, that's between the Lord and myself and nobody else except for maybe the priesthood holders that hold my temple recommend interviews.

I don't think she will, but she knew me and met me during my inactive period so it may come from left field when I explain everything to her. I'm 5'8, but fairly stocky if that makes sense. I wear a large/size 16, size wise.

I guess my big thing is: sleeves, neckline, and rough length on the legs. Being in Missouri, I'm not sure how many truly modest designs will be available. I am really nervous that she won't be understanding...and I suppose at that point I could wait to go to the temple. I don't start prep classes until February. I'm sure someone will tell me that I shouldn't delay the temple for something like this...idk. Potential tense situations make me anxious. Sigh.

I was asked back in July to be a bridesmaid for a dear former coworker. By the time her wedding rolls around, I anticipate having gone through the temple for the first time. We have not tried dresses and I have not yet told her my need for a modest dress, but I plan to when I see her today. As for trying on dresses, I'm not sure how garments will fit and how much I need to cover, if that makes sense? Ladies, any advice for how to make sure my dress will be appropriate for wearing and not showing garments?

Wow, there's a whole lot of harsh in this thread! I will say as a teacher that the generation that follows myself and my fellow millennials should be an interesting one. Of course, the ones I teach come from a delightful mix of Gen X and Millennial parenting. I think kids are kids, no matter the age; but I've got a lot of parents who are all about accountability and hard work. As for the waiting and starting a family...some of us have not yet met someone with whom we could settle down. It's not always a lack of desire for children and parenthood, sometimes it's a lack of opportunity.