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Found 14 results

  1. BlondeMormonBoyAdam

    Thinking About Coming Back

    Hi there, Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Adam and I am 34. I grew up in Florida and was baptized when I was 22 but fell away from the church 5 years after my baptism and since then I've been building my career and moved to Cali. Was curious if anyone suggests I should return to church? Or am I too old to return? And why or why not would you suggest it? Just wanted some input since i've been pondering it alot and still have my BOM and bible and everything but not sure if I should based on my age and since I was inactive for so long and believe they removed my records because Ive been so inactive. Thank you and it's lovely to meet you all!
  2. OhThatMatty

    Returning Wanderer?

    Folks, I could use some help. I had my name removed from church membership back in 2012. I was not under any kind of disciplinary action at that time, and have since never publicly opposed the church. However, I have flirted with returning to the Church a couple of times... Here is my conundrum. I am gay. I have been in a couple of relationships since I last attempted to return to the Church....I can be chaste. I've done it before. But the possibility of letting up would always be in the back of my mind, especially if progressing toward priesthood, the temple, etc. Could anyone offer any advice? I realize I have the agency to use in deciding whether or not to return. One friend who is still active even toldme it may be better to just stay away and let Heavenly Father make everything right in the next life...
  3. Hi all, I think I've managed to work myself into a corner and I don't seem to be able to get any sense or response from my ward/stake leaders. I also can't get much sense from studying things out myself, I have been trying for months. Basically I feel as though whenever things go right in my life, as in things that would please Heavenly Father, something has to come along for me or my family to make things hard. The worst of these being my husband's cancer. And now I'm stuck in a situation where I am frightened to even turn to Heavenly Father anymore, let alone go back to church (I have been unable to attend with my husband's illness) because it will cause more suffering and heartache in mine and my family's lives. I'm looking for something to say "yes, that's the case" or "no, that's not the case". I just feel completely at a loss. There's part of me that feels that I should just man up and let whatever awfulness might come happen, but there's another part of me that knows it's not just about me, it's about my family too and I don't want to put them through more distress. Your thoughts are all most welcome. XXX
  4. Someone in General Conference - elder Cook? Said that there has been no increase in people asking that their names be removed from the church. I found this fact very comforting as my area has many more inactives than actives and an increase in requests for name removals. It is nice to know this is not a church wide trend! It would be nice to live somewhere where the church was stronger. We are hanging on by our fingernails here. We are holding our own this year but mant years we drop in numbers. We are had pressed to keep things going.
  5. Im just not sure where to start. So i use to be very strict member. I never drank, did drugs, my family and i didn't watch rated R movies went to church every sunday. I was good, and tried to have my family be good too. And it felt good. But i started having problems in my marriage, the out come was finding out my husband was cheating on me, doing drugs, and drinking. All that i had suspected but he lied to my face about till he decided to come clean. He was last in the church for a while but i encouraged him always to go. After all this my husband and i separated for a month total. Then got back together. It might sound dumb but its not really a situation you can judge unless you're in that situation. Anyway my husband when completely inactive, kept doing pot (not anymore even tho he wants to) drinking and stopped wearing his garments. I was good and tried to keep going to church. But i have two kids. 1 not old enough for nursery and i was so depressed despret for answers and comfort. answers and comfort i didn't receive roaming the halls or church for 3 hours. i felt unwelcome, i prayed desperately for someone to notice me, to be inspired and reach out....but no one did. so i slowly fell away from activity, stopped saying my prayers and going to church. And i started drinking. Now as it stands i still wear my garments, and my husband and i are working things out, we started saying family prayers again. and are buying a new house and plan on returning to church. The thing is I have never stopped believing the church i doubt it for a second. So i did things that were wrong knowing that they were wrong. And the drinking i seem to be having a hard time giving up. I want to feel the way it did before... good, loved. a worthy member of the church. I don't feel that way and I'm scared i never will again. I don't know what to do be be that person, to have my kids love the gosspile the way i know they should. I'm just scared and don't know what to do......
  6. Hey everyone! My name is Keyra and i've been inactive for about a good 4 years now. I used tto be so passionate about the teachings of the lds community but, i guess you can say i sort of lost my way Anyway I'm new to this! Yay! & this is somewhat part of the first step in going back to church or at least trying to find the guts to go back
  7. well then... that really helped my decision to not stay
  8. For some background, I was raised in the church and went to BYU. I became inactive at 22 and am currently 27. I started dating a non-member a little over a year ago...it has always been nothing serious in my eyes and I do NOT want to marry him. He is not religious, and not anti-LDS, but he is very opinionated about religion in general. (He thinks it's dumb). Over the past month I have had a burning desire to break up with this guy and come back to church and live my life right. I want to get married in the temple. I want that peace back in my life. This is all great....except I just found out that I am pregnant (he does not know yet). I know my options. Abortion makes me sick, even though I read many church talks regarding it and am aware that I could be forgiven. It also makes me sick to think about a broken family in which the child's father would talk very negatively about the LDS church and possibly forbid baptism. He would never allow me to give the child up for adoption. In my state the father has rights the second the baby is born. I thought about going to a bishop for advice...(I don't really have one, as I haven't been to church in 5 yrs). I need some advice...or just someone who can tell me that everything will be ok. I'm still in denial & shock
  9. Hello, everyone. I realize there are probably many posts addressing this subject, however, I was hoping I could get some "custom" advice from members here. :) A quick intro: I'm a senior at a university a state away from my own. I've been on somewhat of a subtle self-journey and am trying to get things together before I graduate, and here we are. Well, to start, I lived in SLC until I was ten. During that time, my involvement in the church wasn't regular. I lived with a single parent who wasn't necessarily dedicated to my religious upbringing. He wanted me to have a good moral foundation, though, and continue in the tradition of our large (extended) family, all of whom are members, if not active. The summer of the year I turned ten, both of my parents passed away and I (an only child) moved in with an aunt and uncle and their two children (I now refer to all as mom, dad, brother, and sister). They went to church regularly, so naturally I did too. I was always distracted during meetings, bored. I liked primary and sometimes class, but (and I'm sure a lot of you've felt this at some point) I couldn't wait for the three hours to be over. I wasn't a great listener. I had (have) liberal viewpoints. I questioned lessons. But it was fun and loving and supportive. I have many fond memories of being a part of that community, of being greeted by name at church and in town -- everyone knew who I was and who my family was, and they cared! But the foundation I'd never been able to build left me stranded on this island of...isolation. I always felt a deep rift between church doctrine and members and I. This went on until I was about 15. By then I had formulated a plan to get out of going to church: a job. I got hired at a store in town and made sure I was scheduled on Sundays. I figure at that point that my parents (aunt and uncle) had long since realized there was no talking me out of it. The next five years of my life were hell: depression and anxiety had weighted me down to the point of what I called "nonliving". I slept all day, had panic attacks, etc. Finally I got some help and through meds and therapy, have dealt with the after effects of the trauma I experienced at a young age. But, I moved out of state, to a place I knew had little church presence and very liberal, secular views. I've been completely cut off from my home community. My family and I are close, but that embrace of my church family is gone. I've watched some of my extended family members fall away from the LDS religion, which served to extend my inactivity. But, sporadically, after graduating high school I realized and re-realized I was missing something in my life. I thought about church -- did I really want to go back? Yes. And no. There are three major themes of discontent within me. The first is political and social. I believe in gay marriage (I have a lot of gay friends and believe that they are the same as you and I in every way -- except for one gene). I believe women are equal to men and should be treated as such (referring to priesthood positions). And, perhaps worst of all, I'm pro-choice. Of course, personally, I would never take part in that, but I don't feel like I have the authority to tell others what they can and can't do with their own bodies. The second is in regard to Joseph Smith. My image of him growing up and my knowledge now of who he really was are hard to reconcile. He performed witchcraft, basically, scrying with rocks and telling others he could find fortunes for them through the power of these stones. He was eventually indicted for fraud and all of that stopped. Then, there's polygamy, an act I don't really have a problem with -- the one thing that bothered me was Joseph's secrecy about it in Nauvoo. It just seems disingenuous. (There's more, much of which has to do with Brigham Young, but I digress...) The third is my own worthiness. Of course, we are all sinners, but I'm not even close to the less-sinful place that members inhabit. I drink (and like) coffee, tea, and alcohol. I've smoked weed and cigarettes. I lived with a long-term boyfriend and have had pre-marital sex. I swear, use the lord's name in vain, and pass judgement where I shouldn't. The only thing that keeps my opinion of myself above water is that other than that, I'm a good person. I genuinely love others and want to help them; I try to be nice and supportive to friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers. All of this (and if you've read this far, God bless you) leads me to my ultimate dilemma: I want to come back, but I want to do it right and know I'm doing it for the right reasons, not just nostalgia or a pandering to my internal suspicions about purpose and death. What do I do? I feel like I'm in a bubble, cut off from everything (probably a lot to do with the meds). And I'm jaded, jaded and cynical. Much of it has to do with childhood trauma and having to be an adult at a young age, but perhaps it is also my surroundings and the friends I hang out with. I tried going to a Catholic church, but it felt empty. Praying feels empty -- like I'm talking to air. The members I knew and loved have either transferred wards or I feel like I can't talk to them. I also feel uncomfortable talking with my family about it (only my mom and my brother are really still active). On top of that, anytime anything that could even hint at the existence of God or the truth of the doctrine occurs I immediately assign it to something else: placebo effect, imagination, desperation, etc. I'm completely at a loss, guys, but I feel like a part of me is tugging me in the church's direction. Anything you think might be helpful, I'd welcome. Thank you in advance.
  10. I have recently started back to the church after years and years of being inactive. I am doing EVERYTHING that is asked of me. I read the scriptures almost daily, i pray throughout the day, I worked with my bishop to work through my years of inactivity and the mistakes I made, and I actively serve others. Yet I am struggling with different thoughts and feelings I have not felt since I left the church. Feeling LESS than, feeling hopeless that I can not live this high standard of life, and feeling like I just want to RUN.... RUN fast away. I have prayed, I have fasted... and so forth. Sometimes it brings hours of peace but the overwhelming feeling of "I can't do this" returns. Living the gospel is REALLY hard. I know if I walk away I will never come back. I am looking for ANY suggestions or advice on how to make it through this. I am desperate for any advice, answers, or prayers. I do not want to be a burden on anyone in my ward or my bishop anymore...
  11. So, I'm afraid to talk about this anymore to anyone who is close to me because I feel like I am causing everyone to hate my husband...so, I thought I would try a forum of strangers! I was raised in the church but was inactive most of my teen and college years. I met my husband my Sophmore year of college and we were married the following year. We were pretty wild and things were starting to get out of control-my brother who was serving a mission at the time, combined with a lot of prayers (by my family) and promptings from the HG, I decided to go back to church. My husband was interested and joined as well...we had four kids and a pretty good marriage...then four years ago he was diagnosed ADD and started taking Aderol, shortly after that he started having serious back issues and started taking various meds for that, then two years ago he was diagnosed (by his general prac) with bipolar disorder and started taking meds for that. I'm not sure which one of these conditions/meds or a combination of them has started causing problems but we have basically gone down hill since then. In the beginning of July he started taking Xanex and went totally crazy! I won't go into all the details but lets just say July and August were a nightmare. He left the church, started drinking, smoking pot, dipping, lying, listening to rap and acting like a jerk. He left for awhile to be with his family back in Oklahoma who are terrible influences with all their partying, drama, and total lack of motivation...but, I got him to come home with a lot of patience and love (maybe some begging). He told me he wanted to baptize our son (he turned 8 Oct 4th) and come back to church...unfortunately, that fell through as well (not surprised), now he is back to drinking, dipping, and isolating himself. Not to mention, he is on disability, waiting for his third back surgery...I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! I love my husband with all my heart and we have a wonderful family! But I am so tired of this emotional rollercoaster- I don't trust him and he is VERY extreme with everything (we are also going through bankruptcy), I feel like him drinking is going to eventually destroy our marriage (and not only because he is extreme but also because it alienates us from eachother). I asked him to quit (begged) and he refused- I just don't know what to do anymore! I feel so hurt and angry (and worry that he is really going to end up being a negative influence on our kids)- he is really acting so selfish! Early on, when I prayed about it; I got a very descisive answer to stay with him; but now I am so hurt and frustrated that I feel like I am tuning out the HF's answers...I can't hear/feel a thing after I pray about him...I feel so lonely, hurt, angry, especially since now I am doing EVERYTHING- and I have to be the awesome mom who has it together all the time; its exhausting! Please if you read this pray for us (God will know who you're talking about- I talk His ear off constantly!!!) and if you have any helpful advice, do share!!
  12. Guest

    Goodness says Hi !

    Hi All, I am an inactive mormon and go occasionally. I haven't seen a lot of sites regarding inactive mormons except those who've left or who are anti-mormon. There ought to be a site where inactive members can turn who still believe but for one reason or another don't attend regularly or not at all. I was once very active. I have had beautiful conversion experiences related to Deity. What I would like to see is some type of buddy system set up so that inactive mormons can buddy up with someone who is active and go to church as they see fit. Sometimes missionaries mean well but some inactives would like to go at a pace they feel comfortable with. Sincerely GoodnessGracious
  13. Recently I noticed that although the Forum has over 16,000 members, only about 2,000 members are active. This got me thinking... What can be done to reactivate the inactives? The moderators could divide them up and assign them to active members for fellowshipping. Or there could be firesides in the chat room focused on the benefits of being active. Any other suggestions? Steve
  14. Howdy y'all! I just wanted to take sec and intro myself and my life, uh, issues? Ok, some are great and some are crazy but it all goes into the same ball of yarn. First and foremost I have a testimony of the truthfullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I would be a sad person without Heavenly Father in my life guiding me. I have always felt the truthfulness of the Gospel, and it definitely is not without its temptations. Story: I grew up in the church, we are Mormon as far back as I can dig, I did it all, Beehive president, Miamaid president, Laurel president (not patting my back, just there was no one else at the time, so I got it by default, lol!) then went on to college to Ricks for a year, then to Texas to be a nanny and was in the Primary presidency in the branch there til I decided to go on a mission, served a mission in Seoul, Korea-LOVED it!!!, came back, served in the singles ward in home town for a year, moved to Utah (HATED that!!) went to singles ward again, got a job in California, moved down here, went to singles ward for a year, still no mr, right! Then my Muslim man came and literally swept me off my feet! He loved me for me. I look like a cabbage patch doll that grew up, really really, but he still loved me. I didnt fit in in the singles wards in Idaho, Utah, or California. I was really REALLY mad that Heavenly Father did not send me a good mormon boy to marry me, I got a Muslim. So I was angry AND bitter, boy was I bitter!!! I decided that I wasn't going to get a Mormon guy and I was so in love with my Muslim man!! So I went inactive for more than 8 years, trying my best to stay off the church's radar. OH, and my honey had SERIOUS baggage! (Ex wife, 4 bitter kids, you know, worst case senario divorce situation, however, we were able to win one back and she calls me momma now, how I adore her!! I can't have children myself so she is a blessing!) Anyway, my life continued down a serious bad slope to the point I nearly committed suicide. I finally gave in and called the local Stake office and looked for the ward I lived in and the rest is history. I have been the CTR 5 teacher, loved it!! And now I am the Laurel Advisor, SCARY but LOVE IT ADORE IT!!! I told them I wasn't old enough for that calling (mentally!! lol!!) but evidently I was supposed to be there. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Throughout my life with my husband, it has been confirmed to me over and over agian of why I am with him. He is a good good man, would give anyone the shirt off his back, well no, he would buy them a brand new one, he needs his shirt, lol. Yes, I have been to Egypt and visited his 5 sisters and one brother (I have 5 brothers, no sisters) and they love me and the feeling is equal!! They did not try to get me to cover my hair to convert me, they loved me for who I was, and more importantly that I loved their brother, (the first wife didn't do that so good). There is so much more to this story, that is just an intro, you ought to hear how we met!! Anyway, I am so happy that Rain intro'd me to this website. There are so many good ideas and minds in here! I am TOTALLY open for ANY AND ALL questions regarding my life with my husband and the Muslim faith. My husband still practices faithfully and we both support each other in our faiths, dont get me wrong, we still have our problems, doesn't everyone? But please feel free! Look forward to hearing from y'all! sincerely---mrscurlymo