eli.will

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No matter what I will not let myself have kids in this situation. That would make things worse on every level. I see what you are saying though as far as divorce being "better". That is the last thing I want. Every time I think of it I get sick. But sometimes things just have to happen. I will get a counselor. And see that you are all updated as this goes on. I will need help now and then....

@ Jane_Doe and PolarVortex I love the frankness. Thats why I decided to post here. Most people get very honest and frank advice. I will figure out some way to get a counselor. You are both right. My wife has offered many many many times just to walk away from the marriage. Just leave. I got her to stay (thankfully). So you ar eboth correct. I should theb be able to do WHATEVER it takes to pick up the pieces.

Our difficulty here is finances.

Now they all appear. Sorry to re-post. I dont use forums often.

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@Eowyn I do have great fear for my childrens life. That is my major issue and cimplication in all this. Children cannot be raised by a mother with so much fear and a father who cant even associate with the females of the family. Being tucked in bed by my father was wonderful for me. Being told I have to give that up with my OWN children was what kinda pushed me into questioning. I love her. I do. I am willing to sit through the pain of dealing with whatever issues are happening. I dont want this to fall apart. We are cealed for eternity for a reason. But kids. I dont think I could bring them into this. Which makes me question everything else...

Thank you for the advice, it helps and does get my mind working on some things I can do. She DOES has a small history. She caught her father in immoral actions. Ok, a few more questions - 1. She did not reveal this severe of behavior until AFTER we married. It surprised me at first, and so I kinda just changed myself so she would not get angry most of every day like she was the first few weeks/months of being married. She would get angry, and I prefer to have peace so I would just say "fine, just so we wont fight, here ya go". So, I know that I was wrong to just hand her control. But, how do I reverse the damage that has been now so extensivly done? 2, How do i keep peace? I hate arguing. And how angry she gets so quickly. It can roin days and days. How do I tell her. "No, that is not something I am going to do?" And keep her from threatening diverce less than 30 seconds later casue "I dont care about her or her feelings." 3. She has reasons for everything. A lot of them do not make sense. But mixed with me wanting the fight to just and and me not being very good at arguing in the firstr place, I AM starting to get confused as to what is appropriate and what is not. I find myself just straight up ignoring even my little sisters just so my wife does not find a reason to get angry. I know there are prayer and recources available to figure this out. But, how do I share my findings with her again- without equaling a marriage scarring fight? Thanks for your help.

She did catch her father in the act of an affair. I assume this has to do ALOT with much of what she does. But I just dont know how to handle it either way...

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